<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 13th Jan 2017 08:38
ooh er Raymondo, life in Bungalow Town - I need to relocate ?
Comment is about BECKY THE MASSEUR (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 13th Jan 2017 08:29
I particularly like the use of 'strand' for the title btw? In Ireland the word is used for a beach but I am not aware of this usage in America. So I am guessing as in stranded? As on a desert island. Or a play on words with 'standing'. But then again this could be a part of this person's story, the tenuous 'strand' that connects together his life events. And going back to the beach I get D-Day and all those landings, a different kind of stranded for so many reasons. Whichever, it's brilliant and no doubt I have missed your true intention!. Col.
Comment is about strand (blog)
Original item by nunya
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 13th Jan 2017 08:17
Such a common and accepted sight on your side of the pond yet Vets are lauded and revered in equal measure. I am sure you saw first hand this one particular person but as poets are we as a mob in general drawn to writing about homelessness in relation to something else? And I guess Vets will always come top of that list.
Yet I wonder about all the other lost souls on traffic islands and street corners who are at a further disadvantage for not having a back story other than their own incapacity to cope with life.
This is not a criticism of your excellent poem elP but the direction in which my thoughts were triggered. Much to think about and even more to be saddened by whichever way we look at it. Thanks for posting. Col.
Comment is about strand (blog)
Original item by nunya
What a lovely vignette. You painted the picture very well, and with great delight.
Comment is about The Shoe Seller (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Oh I'm so glad the timing has been useful to you Kimberly.
Forgiveness is powerful as hard as it might seem. It's all about 'letting go' in the knowledge that we can live at peace with ourselves and with the other person.
The biggest barrier to forgiving somebody (whether it's our fault or theirs) is the ego. So if you manage your ego you will grow BIG spiritually.
Take care. xx
Comment is about The Redemption (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
Fri 13th Jan 2017 02:15
Thank you all for your comments. I agree about the wordiness (is that a word?), but I feel all that has been said needs to have been said, and I don't do competitions or anything.
Cynthia- thank you for correcting my clumsy grammar. I'm in high school, I love writing prose and poetry, and I am absolutely terrible at spelling!
Thank you all again.
Claire
Comment is about Mirror, Mirror on the Wall (blog)
Original item by Claire
Thank you all. Cynthia, I suppose you could call this a study. In my youth, we had a very long succession of Japanese exchange students living in our home. They taught me a lot about Japanese culture and customs (and language). I wrote this in my early twenties, and then went on to become a teacher, hoping to teach in Japan. Fate, however, sent me to China where I have been living and teaching for the past 13 years.
Comment is about She wants to feel 日本 (Japan) (blog)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
elPintor
Thu 12th Jan 2017 22:16
I don't usually make it through long pieces like this but the style kept my attention. Each verse is like a story told from its beginning to another successive point in time--each the same length. Ingenious simplicity, if you ask me, with something of an epic feel.
elP
Comment is about Yima (blog)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
Thanks for commenting. The title was originally 'saucy postcard' but it was a more long-winded poem that included double D cup buttresses and a pregnant harbour wall and a damp patch on the Beach!
Comment is about Starters Orders (blog)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
Thu 12th Jan 2017 21:31
Ray, aythankgyow, so very much for such kind comments. I will be interested to hear what you make of a couple or darker pieces I've written recently when I post them!!! Thanks again, Paul
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Such a positive hopeful poem...thanks
Comment is about Chakraj (poet profile)
Original item by Chakraj
Oh that is a keeper Raj. I claim it my friend!!!
Comment is about JUST BREATH (blog)
Original item by lynn hahn
Superbly presented , and with Stu's comment makes so much sense. I love the rolling form of the sonnet which simply romanticises a theme and draws it out exquisitely.
Enjoyable and refreshingly different Chris.
Ray
Comment is about Chris Hubbard @ Mont Saint-Michel (blog)
Original item by Chris Hubbard
Bang on Hazel and as Cynthia says, has a double edged dimension . So immediate and humorous it cheers up the whole website. Sort of reminds me of the old saucy postcards, still clinging on apparently.
Ray
Comment is about Starters Orders (blog)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
A wonderful antedote to the season's deprivations Paul. Bring it on I say , The balance of the lines makes for good reading.
Can I say that since you came on to the site , I have noticed a great sense of positivity from your work, and it is refreshing and i'm sure illuminates this medium so well . Let us cynical fellows wallow down in darker matters, give us a leg up my friend!
Ray
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Very bleak and to the point David. A story told in a flash; dare I say again I can sense the old STD phone box from the 80s and the rack of phone books. The claustrophobia of a phone box is a perfect setting. Something we have lost in mobile phones. "Rusted ribcage of totalled phonebox" makes it for me.
Ray
Comment is about Loan Shark (blog)
Original item by David Blake
Many thanks, MC. I don't have all mod cons but I have most mod cons.
Comment is about YOUR FIRST HUT IS THE CHEAPEST (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hi Mike, I don't want to try being clever in my comment, as I can see the anguish coming through so strongly and the identification that being a soldier gives on such a personal level with the undermined and desperate. David has made that quite clear to me as a friend.
A rare insight into tragedy for me.
Ray
Comment is about Beyond The Boundaries Of Words (blog)
Original item by Noetic-fret!
Well said Mark. This sort of thing sounds like not only the death of the broad mind, but the rise of official paranoia, always a dangerous thing when what society really needs is to let off safe steam . Shall we find more freedoms to suppress ? how about sex shops for a start - we've already lost tobacco identification in supermarkets. We could also ban kids wearing witches outfits . Let's clean ourselves up right now!!
Ray
Comment is about IGNORANCE IN ACTION (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thank you. That's all I can say.
Comment is about Nothing more to say (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
Compliments feel superfluous when enjoying anything
from this source - so I can only add the following in tune.
"And if you've got a fridge and a good writing table,
And much more besides if you feel able,
Adorned with photos of Lamour and Betty Grable,
You're much better off living in a shed...
?
Comment is about YOUR FIRST HUT IS THE CHEAPEST (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Strong and honest and mind-grabbing. Ending is superb.
Comment is about Little Girl... Big Mess (blog)
Original item by Saniya
This is fantastic, a brilliant way to address a complex issue. It took a second reading to pick out the 'voices', but I persevered and really enjoyed it.
Comment is about Home (blog)
Original item by Claire
Thank you Cynthia, what a wonderful comment. Now let's see if anything about snowdrops emerges.....! Paul
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
This is very strong, and honest, and original, all best criteria for a good poem.
But, once you're posting so-called 'page poems', check your words for silly spots that just get stuck in by accident like 'whose friend was .... etc.' It happens to everybody. But it does matter.
I look forward reading more of your work.
Cynthia
Comment is about Mirror, Mirror on the Wall (blog)
Original item by Claire
Poetry and Drama are excellent bedfellows. The combined interests will enable you to read aloud your own words to test their best usage for the effect you want, even if just to yourself.
Comment is about Claire (poet profile)
Original item by Claire
Says a mouthful in a few scattered, very well-chosen words. Job done.
Comment is about Written (blog)
Original item by Claire
Delightful. I really like how the lines could be about either the waves or the holiday makers. Your choice of words is splendid.
Comment is about Starters Orders (blog)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
Much enjoyed, much, much, much.
Odes to flowers puts you in fine poetical company. What about a fresh, new one on 'snowdrops'?
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Love it. (Nothing more to say.)
Comment is about Nothing more to say (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
Very effective.
The photo looks like a gaping maw. Sure works well with your poem.
Comment is about Loan Shark (blog)
Original item by David Blake
Thanks Stu, I really appreciate your comments. It seemed a bit incongruous writing and posting a poem about a sunflower in the depths of winter......but pleased to hear it cheered you up. Paul
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Cheers Col, thanks for the trouble . My Lynn was intrigued , not aware of the Burrell Arms but the Crown and Anchor yes; her cousin will be interested too to see the gallery.
Ray
Comment is about IN THE VALLEYS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Welcome to WOL. I do like your photo, assuming it's you, with its aura of cheeky friendliness and humour.
Comment is about Randall Eckstein (poet profile)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
A long read, circuitous but really interesting. I can't imagine that once through does it any justice (except for the 'tooth decay' aspect which is a great leveller).
I'm presuming it's written in pure metaphor, and the reader must sort out the 'keys' to the best of his/her abilities to understand the actual 'message', assuming there is one. Or- you could be playing mind-games, lampooning the references in many books of 'religious history' and their consequent 'instruction'.
It sure is a brave piece as an introduction to a new site. I look forward to more. I'll go through it again tomorrow. Once was enough for today.
.............
OK, I looked up YIMA. I wasn't so far off, after all.
Comment is about Yima (blog)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
I love it. Provides space for the reader to have their own experience.
Comment is about She wants to feel 日本 (Japan) (blog)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
Full of charm and intimacy, highlighting many aspects of Japanese culture with great sympathy.
And yet, this seems almost a 'study', and I wonder whether you are writing from personal experience or an imaginative composing of 'ideas about Japan.'
Either way, it is a lovely piece. I had the privilege of living in Tokyo for six weeks many years ago. The experience enriched my life.
Comment is about She wants to feel 日本 (Japan) (blog)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
excellent chris. i was drawn to the piece as i have spent many a day wandering the narrow lanes of mont st michel myself and though the sheer volume of people (especially at the bottom) removes any form of peace and quiet, i always found a lovely inner peace and clarity as i made my way up to the top. the piece itself is excellent, the words tumble down nicely and perfectly capture the light within the darkness.
Comment is about Chris Hubbard @ Mont Saint-Michel (blog)
Original item by Chris Hubbard
a lovely description of a beautiful flower. the picture cheered me up as well, its freezing here!
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
this is simply wonderful. its soft and delicate, almost as if it was written in blossom. it deals really well with yearning, is stuffed full of lovely details and speaks to me because i have a special affinity with japan, especially the longing to be there, amongst the culture that surrounded me in my youth (i wrote my dissertation on japanese cinema and was generally obsessed with every form of japanese culture for about a decade). a great piece of writing.
Comment is about She wants to feel 日本 (Japan) (blog)
Original item by Randall Eckstein
Really good, Andy. Much enjoyed. The metaphors are very mind-catching and mood-inducing.
Comment is about From Friendship to Love (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Happy drinks happy times
happy poets happy hangovers
Sparkling salvation magic pens
fine reading when defrosted.
Comment is about January 2017 Collage Poem - Hungover (blog)
Original item by Stockport WoL
Sorry you could not come Andy - - - - the theme for next month is Mythology.
Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Very good. I like the slow build as you reflect on the meaning of love. Good metaphors, too.
Comment is about From Friendship to Love (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Nice one I'd forgotten that line, may use it in something else
Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Fine poem. Reminds me of Wallace Stevens.
Comment is about 'The carbon cycle' by Alex Smith is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 13th Jan 2017 09:05
I have to echo Ray's comments re the positivity and all that and Cynthia's odes to flowers. But I can't help but see dear old Van Gogh slicing off his ear and wondered how an extra verse might throw this poem alarmingly off into different territory. Just a thought. Col.
Comment is about Sunflower (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring