very good Tommy. Right on the money with this one.

Comment is about Wandering expositions (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thank you all.

Thanks Hazel and Colin for saying I am not preaching. This is good because I don't always relate well to teenagers. But these guys were just walking down the street in twos and threes enjoying themselves and it was joy to see.
Thus I take your point Ray about not judging and the amount of bad press they get.
elp you are so right about the innocence that exists there. It is so easy for them not to realise what they don't know.

Paul and Colin I am glad you like the rhythm of the piece, it just came to me as I saw them. I am not sure whether I had been listening to some music in the car but suspect I had been which would have helped with the overall pace, but also with the way they carry themselves.

Cynthia it is always pleasure to have you read my work I am grateful and hope to see you soon.



once again
Thank you all. I am always humbled when other poets like my poems

Martin

Comment is about Not yet sixteen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

It's terrific to have you back in the North. And active.

Comment is about Steve O'Connor (poet profile)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

Hi Martin,

Fabulous poems as ever last night, well done.

I had to write and say Kate Tempest - wow! Thank-you so much for pointing me in her direction. I'm watching her perform at The Royal Court and am blown away.

Yet again I'm reminded of how high the bar is!

Nic x

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Thanks Graham, dirty postcard humour sauciness got the better of me for the final lines....?

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

There is definitely something about this piece!
There's a mystique which defies my ability to get to the heart of this.
I want to know more Alex!

Comment is about 'The carbon cycle' by Alex Smith is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Yeh! Well put like that I guess you're bang on Paul.
It could be any of us (blokes). Less said the better ?

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thank you Col, I'm incredibly grateful to you for such glowing appreciation of this piece, honestly, I'm deeply touched. It's strange and wonderful this process of writing poetry, isn't it? Once I had the first 6 words and the idea to describe the boy to man transition, I soon had a head full of lines! I decided not to include several other lines about clothes (button-downs, parallels, como shoes and Crombie coat) as they distracted from the last line! Paul

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Ray, I love this too, it captures the sharp and stealthy nature of the fox so well, and more great lines, including "nuzzles the bins, their humpty backs". Thanks for posting this. Paul

Comment is about FOX (blog)

Original item by ray pool

this is very enjoyable and trips off the tongue joyfully Sharvari ?

Comment is about My Story (blog)

Original item by Sharvari

love this and love them.

I like that you get straight to the point with 'sad ignoble fox' - that Mr Fox has been forced to come to the big city to make a living and has now become a scrawnier version of his country cousin.

I can't help but think there is an analogy hidden here - with migrants past and present who have moved from country to city and ended up scraping a living in the slums and shanty towns of the poor - where they 'may strive may thrive' and 'where death may hide' in the search for food and a better life.

Cheers
Col

Comment is about FOX (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Like it Aishah,

It looked like it was heading for a fatalistic end and then the twist. You rise again like the phoenix...
"blissfully climb forever."

Raj

Comment is about You're too complacent (blog)

Original item by Wonderer

excellent Paul - the first two lines are a masterclass in how to start a poem with just 6 well chosen words spread equally over two lines and you follow this with liberal smatterings of x's and double consonants - seed, shedding, bumfluff, uttering, attract, bass, opposite. As Rose pointed out, simply written but the language is beguiling and breathtaking in equal measure which makes it a joy to read. Top stuff. Col.

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

some great lines here Leo - in order of personal preference I would say verse 4, then 1,2,3. Thanks for posting, Colin

Comment is about Winter's Wolf (blog)

Original item by Leo

very nice

Comment is about On the death of David Bowie (By Emma/written in 2 minutes when I woke up!) (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

interesting idea although I find the explanation of the idea at the end somewhat unpoemy and wonder could it have been expressed another way within the main body of the poem? Just a thought but this made me stop and think and read a few times so thanks for posting EJS.

Comment is about Stellatus (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

show me laughter
more beautiful
than a poem

Comment is about Show me (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Brrr!!!

Comment is about SILLY OLD MAN (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

mixed emotions - interesting concept for a poem which could be expanded and made more complicated - thanks for posting Piper.

Comment is about I Hate You (blog)

Original item by Piper Mandle

Love the last 3 lines.

Comment is about SILLY OLD MAN (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

Frozen assets come to mind Lynn.
Keep them coming!!

Raj.x

Comment is about SILLY OLD MAN (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

A wonderful night again, thankyou Stockport WOL. For David and John, the poem we were trying to remember was "Adlestrop" by Edward Thomas (1878-1917). I had to find it or I would have been awake all night!

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Love this. Clever, funny, nerve touching. Best line for me 'remains to be seen'. I hope so - speaking as a remain.

Comment is about Politicks and other creepy crawlies (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Thank you Rose for another warm and encouraging response. I have read your bio and fully agree with you about writing using simple language and I too find Larkin's writings an inspiration. Thanks to the encouragement from you and others on here, I'm enjoying writing like never before! Paul

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

with all respect Paul,although a simplistically written piece,you have very cleverly used those simple words to carve out some brilliant images.

When,and if you would like to read my bio,you will see there how I hit on the fact,that in my opinion,it is actually harder to concoct such images-with-the use of simple words.

Hence my adoration,of most of Larkins poems.Brilliantly clear,understandable and above all sooo relatable.


Keep them coming-please!




Rose ?

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Paul/Colin - thanks for your thoughts.
I did melodise my passion for sheds (I've got 4) with a re-work of the Cat Stevens song perfected by PP Arnold, "Your First Hut is the Cheapest".

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks Mark, indeed a tragedy when seen from a global perspective; my thoughts went to the lone drifters.

Ray

Comment is about APRIL 14 1912 (blog)

Original item by ray pool

This really needs concentrating on to get the full benefit, Steve and having read it carefully it revealed a lot , out of random objects possibilities are considered and highlighted. A very revealing insightful poem.

Ray

Comment is about What is it and what could it be? (blog)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

Great comment on Which Rev, love it

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Thanks for comments on Which Rev

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks Trev. Worthy extensions.

Raj

Comment is about WhatsApp Geezer? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

'bout bloody time too lad, bin missin' yer ? welcome back!

Comment is about I (blog)

Original item by Matt

Thanks M.C. I'm sure what you say passed through my Dad's head but, fortunately, his respectful and gentle nature helped him to avoid losing self-control.

And thanks again to everyone for taking the time to express such caring, thoughtful comments. Paul

Comment is about JustGoJustGoJustGo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

John, enjoyed reading this very much and the nice touches of humour. I can't really say much more due to an overwhelming feeling of shed envy!! Paul

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks for the suggestions, MC. I am struggling for room for more conveniences. I have a filter coffee machine, kettle, microwave, log burner, radio/CD player, library, wardrobe, Christmas tree and gas barbecue in there now. It really is just the bed I need.

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

There are surely occasions when a woman's persistent tongue-lashing can induce a man to resort to an overt
physical response - the more publicised aspect of conflict
between the co-habiting sexes.

Comment is about JustGoJustGoJustGo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

omg
imvho
wysiwyg

Nice one. :)

Comment is about WhatsApp Geezer? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Sorry guys. Something has come up on my side so can't make it tonight.

See you all next Month.

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

A reminder then that married life
Requires a refuge from "the wife"!
You don't mention it but are you able
To fit in a fridge and writing table?
?

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

It was written a long time ago when i was in school....as a part of my school project....I was travelling for some competition and missing my mom terribly...though thoughts and sentiments would still remain the same even today,,,In fact miles apart being more relevant today than anytime else....?

Comment is about Mom (blog)

Original item by Preeta Sanjith

Happy New Year to everyone.

Nigel, I love "Peace".

I struggled with this month's theme "Hangover", but I'm looking forward to hear everyone else's interpretations tonight.

Jenny is braving it and coming back for another session, so we must have done something right last time!
x

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Hi Cynthia Thanks for comment on Le Petit Parisien and I'll have a think about your suggestion.David

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Many thanks, Fellas.
No shed, Gideon!!!!!???? What's that about?
Colin - it burns cleaner than that usually but I stuck some wet leaves on for the photo. The neighbours were impressed.

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I wish I had my own shed. Enjoyed this very much.

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Cheers Gideon, I enjoyed that. And my teenage son has given it the seal of approval (wink, wink).

Raj

Comment is about WhatsApp Geezer? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Awesome! Couldn't have wrote it better myself... lol

Comment is about WhatsApp Geezer? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

I tried zooming in on your picture using my phone Juhi but the words blurred. I think I get the gist of it and it sounds quite lovely. Might be an idea to type out the words for us as pics on WoL can't be enlarged. All the best, Colin

Comment is about Pondy Diaries (blog)

Original item by Juhi Gupte

Yes, Suki, this is the closer to the book - the book is at the printer - I have 82 pomes in it - it starts with one about dancing as the book is a kinda dance through my life and experience and ends at Dingle - the rest are in no order at all except that created by a random number generator.
I'll let you know when it's out and i'll send you a copy ?

Rick.

p.s. you might notice that I have reposted this here with the revised final final final very last version as per me book - the ending is altered a little to get rid of a couple of clunky lines and odd words here and there too.

Comment is about "Dingle Bound Epiphany June 1990" (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Hey, Martin..glad you enjoyed. I wrestled with some of the phrasing in this quite fitfully and that one in particular. So, I was really happy when that line popped up. I would like to try reading aloud..but I don't think I've ever even read any of my writing aloud when alone. It must be a great exercise for projecting one's voice.

Ephemeral is a great word, Suki, and it describes exactly what I wanted--transience. I can't say much about spirituality, but I do believe that we are greater than the sum of our parts--one reason why I highly doubt the ability of humans to artificially create another "being" like us. Surely, we are more than sentient series of synapses. I'll take a chance on being wrong about that any day. Thank you kindly, dear Sir..a happy new year to you too.

elP

Comment is about cataclysm and containment--Stage 1 (blog)

Original item by nunya

Thank you all so much, Ray, M.C., Emer, elP and Rose for the most touching, thoughtful and insightful comments.

Emer, thank you, my Dad did leave and found peace (of sorts) for the last years of his life.

elP, thank you for insights, you're exactly right, my deceased father would never have seen the funny side of it all. And this poem was intended to be a small tribute to my father for all he endured and because he was a good man. Your thoughtful comments have made us all think more about this issue, I'm sure.

Rose, thank you so much for such kind words. Much appreciated.

Again, thank you all. Paul

Comment is about JustGoJustGoJustGo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring