this is excellent and reminds me (in theme not tone) of one of my favourite passages from 'a scattering' by christopher reid. i'll paste it below.
twists of griddled succulence
tweaked from their shells with a slack
twang of reluctance, chewed,
then chased down with a wine
described on the menu as black.
Comment is about Picking snails by moonlight (blog)
Original item by Graham Ramsden
excellent. will read more of your stuff.
Comment is about He's a Poet (blog)
Original item by Michelle
Another one from my new pamphlet. This poem refers to the application being considered by North Yorkshire County Council from Third Energy to frack for gas at Kirby Misperson in Ryedale. You can get the pamphlet from my website http://www.birdbard.co.uk/bookshop.html
and it's also on Amazon and Kindle http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1519178085/ref=r_soa_w_d
Comment is about Fracking Hell! (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
Hi JC Great rib tickling stuff
I over dosed on white noise indulgence one day, and was so depressed decided to finish myself off with aspirin
But thank God I felt better after the first two.
(Old Benny Hill joke)
Comment is about A TRIP TO THE ZOO (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I must find time to catch up with your work. This is delightful.
Comment is about He's a Poet (blog)
Original item by Michelle
Your comeback is totally brilliant, utterly confusing, very cathartic. I shall treasure it.
The child in your photo is very beautiful, like the portraits of many mediaeval 'Mary's', all big, clear eyes and rosy lips in a pale face. It could be a boy, but same comment - no difference. And you don't look so bad yourself, of course.
Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Lynn Hamilton
Wed 18th Nov 2015 22:43
And a marker pen!
Comment is about No RSVP Required (blog)
ThanksMC. I did this in the great British tradition of saucy postcards and as a sort of homage to Benny Hill. (And as an antidote to some of the self-indulgent, self-important white noise you get on this site).
Comment is about A TRIP TO THE ZOO (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Tommy is thinking:
why do posters
refer to themselves in the third person.
I have tried to,
so has himself.
When both are speaking
in the third person,
he himself, finds,
that they are himself,
asking themself why?
Can two people converse
in the third person?
Tommy finds it difficult
to quote directly from
a third person's point of view
while speaking to the third-person
themselves.
We wonder if one's first-person
obligates the second-person's
directly attributed pro-noun.
I myself think that we should
-Tommy is speaking directly
here-
avoid all confusion
in such matters
by using the first-person
when writing or speaking
to the reader,
as one will find that
he or she wonders
if they themselves
are also confused.
Yours (or is it ones)
Tommy Carroll (himself).
words foto and himself
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Lynn Hamilton
Wed 18th Nov 2015 20:39
Thanks for reading, commenting and seeing the picture, I saw (he looked quite content - his loved ones, understandably, were not). xxxx
Comment is about Black Velvet (blog)
Thanks chaps. It was quite scary just the wind, but then the cut as well! then the candlelight - how could I go wrong? I tried to convey a mix of gothic and modern, a challenge!
thanks for reading.
Comment is about POWER CUT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Uplifting within the content of the grief - life MUST go on.
I'm reminded of the Kern/Hammerstein song of WW2 -
"The Last Time I saw Paris"..when that great city had
fallen under the Nazi jackboot.
Comment is about Paris, 13 November 2015 (blog)
Original item by Dorinda MacDowell
Nice, gentle love song with a satisfying pay-off, that could be rewarded with a tune to match.
In verse 2 I would have been tempted to use something
like -
"You're the rhythm to my rhyme" - for the last line.
But that's me being subjective...nothing more.
Comment is about Answer to a Prayer (blog)
Original item by Allen Jo Mathews
Fun to see this sort of post - not always the easiest to
try yet alone complete.
Comment is about POWER CUT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Animal crackers!
Always great to see you bang on form - or banging on
about form!
Comment is about A TRIP TO THE ZOO (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thanks to all who came along to Readaround. ACE funding permitting please watch this space for news of our return in 2016.
Review is about Beatnik Boulevard presents 'Readaround' on 13 Nov 2015 (event)
<Deleted User> (8659)
Wed 18th Nov 2015 14:10
A beautiful poem Lynn, wonderful.
Comment is about Black Velvet (blog)
too true it gives one time to think though. :-), this damn wind has broken my shed. How small we are
Comment is about POWER CUT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
yes you certainly do write with feeling, so do I, there's an honesty in that. Well done
Comment is about Allen Jo Mathews (poet profile)
Original item by Allen Jo Mathews
<Deleted User> (8659)
Wed 18th Nov 2015 11:50
Hi Cynthia,
Thanks for popping by and leaving your comments on Leisure. The original by W.H.Davies is one of my all time favourites too-many a time those are the words which spring to my lips when stood in a wild and windy place. And his first book,Diary of a Supertramp has been an influence on how I've led my life since first reading it forty odd years ago. But 'massacre'? That was not the intention and I believe that Davies would've approved.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
actually, the longer i stay away from professional kitchens the more i fall back in love with food in general. i think the same can be said for most careers. they sap the joy from whatever it was you once loved (usually the reason you entered the career in the first place). glad you liked the poem! the worst thing about the wife being pregnant is that i promised i wouldn't eat a steak until she could!
Comment is about bite (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Wed 18th Nov 2015 02:05
Thank you very much for the feedback I'll make sure I'll make the necessary changes in the ones coming up.
Comment is about Answer to a Prayer (blog)
Original item by Allen Jo Mathews
Oh Lynn, in my heart I know him. Brought a tear to my eye! Beautifully put x
Anita
Comment is about Black Velvet (blog)
Nice one Stu. I can feel my taste buds stirring, are you sure you haven't returned to cooking?
Comment is about bite (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Nicely put Lynn. I like it a lot
Comment is about Black Velvet (blog)
its rare to find
a happy medium
and if you do
then well done
Comment is about bite (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
I will try to catch up with your work, Julie Anne. Welcome to WOL!
Comment is about Julie Anne Sugden (poet profile)
Original item by Julie Anne Sugden
Delightful, fast, funny, full of flair, and very true. Love the disparate details.
Comment is about Tonight (blog)
Original item by Julie Anne Sugden
You are so good! IMO, - a true poet's mind exercising the innate power of diverse observations, the interweaving of all senses, of seeing the 'part in the whole' and the 'whole in the part'. I think it is a gift usually, but sometimes a burden too. I bet you HAVE to write.
Comment is about Moving From One Place to Another (with boxes) (blog)
Original item by A.M. Clarke
A really heart-touching little poem, sensitively and effectively crafted.
I'm going back to read some of your other work. Perhaps one a day or so. I'm looking forward to it.
Comment is about For Janis (blog)
Original item by A.M. Clarke
Powerful message, expressing the panic without exaggerated detail. The repetition is very effective. Perhaps readers just could not deal with this subject right away; but I think you have written a good poem about it.
Did you deliberately intend one verse to use 'life' instead of 'lives'? It seems a bit odd.
Comment is about Our Lives, Our Lives (blog)
Original item by Quiet Comet
Nice poem and imagery. Check some spellings though (sorry that's the school teacher me talking.)
Strive against all odds and thrive
Comment is about Gypno (poet profile)
Original item by Gypno
Very well developed, with all the killing details unfolding the immediate present and the past few minutes, and the past - period. I like the connotations of external sound in the personal silence of the room. And I admire your insistence that the reader contribute to the 'play' by with-holding who is the person in the photo.
IMO, it's a very good poem.
Comment is about Anonymous (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Stu, when I was twenty, in my first apartment, my dad came for dinner. I was so excited. I cooked for him an expensive steak, way beyond my meagre budget. But this occasion was SPECIAL.
I read my book/s, prepared my meat verbatim, seared it hawk-eyed, dressed it with artistic panache, served it with pride and stood respectfully back for high praise. He scored it deeply with his steak knife, and drew abruptly back with a sharp ejaculation: 'JESUS, Cynthia, I said I liked it RARE, NOT STILL ON THE HOOF!'
Ah, the richness of the best memories. I have no idea what happened next. Presumably, I cooked it some more. I envy people who can afford fine rich steaks.
Comment is about bite (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
I'm pleased you like this one Cynthia. It takes your eye off the ball maybe and not really esoteric but a practical study of life in the raw(no pun intended).
cheers Ray
Comment is about THE WISDOM OF THE UPRIGHT SPINE (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Have you just joined us today? Splendid. This site is excellent, with loads of different writers from all backgrounds. We try to be universally friendly. Do feel free to comment on other poets' works. Such interaction will likely stimulate comments on yours as well.
Cynthia.
Comment is about Allen Jo Mathews (poet profile)
Original item by Allen Jo Mathews
A delightful little piece, charming, consistently lyrical and well-rhymed.
Because it is a 'page presentation, perhaps you might eliminate your commas after the end words 'before' and 'hoping'; they seem to interrupt the flow of a thought for no reason. Running a line 'idea' from one into another is very acceptable, very adept.
Comment is about Answer to a Prayer (blog)
Original item by Allen Jo Mathews
Very good one, a great subject well exercised.
Comment is about THE WISDOM OF THE UPRIGHT SPINE (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Just wanted to add that I often drove down the M1 at night and was enchanted by the sight of red mist and heat that was seen on the eastern side for miles around Nottingham. Probably over by the early 90s. All the best.
Comment is about Ghosts are the past (blog)
Original item by PatricioLG
Thank you Stu - yes I think ideas like your own trigger my own maybe. A good thing! I was pleased with the ludicrous antedote to standing up. However, lots of back problems ensue from that one postural question mark.
Ray .
Tim, lovely to have a new face making comments. It's been a productive day for a change.
Comment is about THE WISDOM OF THE UPRIGHT SPINE (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thank you Graham. Yes, your intuition was correct: 26th anniversary of his death in December.
Comment is about Kieran (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
what searing humour! a rarity nowadays. etc
thanks for the comment, im glad you enjoyed the poem!
Comment is about bite (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
hello. id recommend wordpress over blogger. thats what i use. also, a larger network so more hits. i dont think your views count as views. i havent checked though.
Comment is about Making a blog and what a good site this is (blog)
Original item by David Addington
Patricio LG
Thu 19th Nov 2015 14:36
Kind of balance, such as yin and yan, scales. Karma, what goes in must come out, the reason I never watch horror films
Comment is about A Hard Line (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas