great imagery and desolate feelings evoked.
Comment is about seep (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
this is excellent and the spacing of the last four lines works perfectly to break up the inner monologue that invariably takes hold when one reads poetry. the pay off line is very clever too.
Comment is about THE RHYME OF NO REASON (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Lynn Hamilton
Tue 14th Jul 2015 14:04
Jeremy. This is wonderful. I have created an image in my head and a sadness in my heart.
Comment is about seep (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
a good un, this one John. flows really well.
didn't realise until i read it then, how well my bit finishes it off.
excellent stuff.
now get submitting them (:
Comment is about July 2015 Collage Poem (blog)
Original item by Stockport WoL
Thanks for the support and advice! I am excited to work on improving my writing through WOL.
Comment is about Ali Bell (poet profile)
Original item by Ali Bell
Cynthia,
Thank you for the feedback!
Personally, I never thought of the peace and war metaphor, but I'm glad you found something I didn't see from your interpretation.
I see why you would say viperous is an strange word in this case. I guess I meant to describe a tornado as menacing in a snake-like way, like how snakes bite unexpectedly.
Again, thank you for taking time to read and comment on my poem!
-Ali
Comment is about The Wind's Betrayal (blog)
Original item by Ali Bell
Never juggle tripe over the pond of poetry, especially if you've just had a hip op. Wrap carefully, to avoid the unacceptable whiff of the elder within.
I see nothing in the article to suggest that Armitage advocates degrading the language. Although rarely to my taste, I have been impressed with the vocabulary and deftness of some youngsters who have written and performed rap; some of whom have gone on to write good poetry and other forms.
I have been less impressed with some not-so-youngsters trying to perform rap. However, your idea of tripe juggling does give me an idea, Graham.
Comment is about Armitage ready to investigate the role of rap in modern poetry (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hi Harry,
Thank you for all your supportive comments on my work.
I gave a lot of thought to your comment on 'Wrapped In Paper'. I have edited the line that you mentioned.
I have substituted 'deafened' for 'haunted'
The line now reads
'If the words had come to life
You would have beeen haunted by their screams'
Any better?
Helen :)
Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Cider with Nigel? Instead of the Dom, Hmmmm....x
Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)
Original item by Nigel Astell
CBT he doesn't stir my pot, though I've dropped one a couple of times in his. Yours etc
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thank you for your comments Cynthia, I came over all a bit "Wendy Cope" in that one! Makes a change from my darker stuff
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
There you are! Hi I'm Tommy. I hope you find your way around the site. Post away.
Comment is about Miranda (poet profile)
Original item by Miranda
Thanks to all those who took the time to contribute their
thoughts.
I doubt if there has ever been an age in the history of
mankind when some "empire" wasn't in place or being
created. The roll call is impressive - including, in no particular order - Greek, Persian, Roman, Mongol, Aztec,
Inca, Spanish, Dutch, Portuguese, French, Russian, German
and, of course, the most frequent "target" of all modern revisionists, the British version.
Even the great US of A possesses a form of empire in
its insistence on extending its influence across the globe.
You don't have to own lands and people to be empirical,
but then they had already swept across three thousand
miles of land subjugating the indigenous peoples in their way before looking over the Pacific to the "Far East" and
its riches.
Man has always sought power, influence and control over
his fellows and perhaps it's a miracle that so much that
is worth having emerges from the murder and mayhem in
the ongoing story of our existence. There are always
victors and victims in this cycle of life and taking issue
with what has happened long ago is not going to change anything, unless it means we can learn from it to make
things better today and move forward.
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
tawning I rather like as it picks up on the colour of fallow in the opening line - and is a sound pun on 'turning'
Comment is about tanning (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
Forget glass of Dom Perignon
Polished oak splits open.
Bolt from the blue
Strongbow is the drink.
The doors are closed
You ready for aftertime?
Comment is about Dodging Cupid's Arrow (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
Sounds good to me, Nigel. talk about this further but i likely will want to get involved in this.
Glad it's September as am bogged down with a few things at the moment however.
See you later
A
Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
There is never 'Greatness' without 'Atrocities', in any part of our globe, or in any historical era. Unbiased information is key to judgement, and who can decipher truly when or where such byword actually exists. Interpretation of events becomes increasingly difficult with the passage of time, IMO, always hindered by a preconceived plan to uphold or negate certain ideas.
I do not believe in changing 'facts' as nearly as we can be sure they are 'facts', or vocabulary in usage at the given time, however offensive we may find such vocabulary now. That is altering reliable 'truth' to suit our modern selves. How do we learn anything as a progressive human species if we deny how we used to be? We don't need to lambaste it into our psyche constantly, but we should never deny it, like children. We have to acknowledge how horrible we have been, are, and could still be, to each other.
I'm done. I realize it's a rerun of many good points already made.
Here's a thought: I truly believe every theologian of any religion should first have a PHD in World Histories.
Mr Newberry, you are having a grand time stirring up the WOL pot.
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Once again, Jeremy, a lovely blend of chosen imagery and form. 'fun', 'frantic' and 'foxglove' are the kinds of words that lift a poem into the mouth, begging to be recited, the original and still the best purpose of poetry.
'tawning' is a major sidestep of 'tawny'. Not sure if it helps or hinders the final line. It is certainly a jolt.
Comment is about tanning (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
Greetings, Ali. You are definitely on the right track to consider writing. And, IMO, a musical background is a real asset because the rightly chosen words make melody in the mind, in any genre. I believe you will hear this silent music. And nothing beats a jazz twist to the expected. Bone up on vocabulary, and always keep a thesaurus at your elbow. Oh- and read a lot, all arenas and eras of literature, not because you have to, but because you want to.
Welcome to WOL.
Comment is about Ali Bell (poet profile)
Original item by Ali Bell
I like the strong idea of this poem, and many of its images. I'm not completely sure if the final two lines conclude a metaphor of peace and war, but given the sonnet form, I presume they do.
'viperous' is a very unusual descriptive word for a 'tornado', and may point directly to your cultural background. I shall check your bio.
Comment is about The Wind's Betrayal (blog)
Original item by Ali Bell
Delightful - magnolias and sandalwood in the same poem - like Everywoman. The diction and imagery are superb, and the internal music of rhyme and assonance. I REALLY like it.
Comment is about Dodging Cupid's Arrow (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
Thanks all for your comments. It may read a bit like a commissioned poem - in fact, it was self-commissioned! Harry, you can read more about Woking's mosque here. It was the first purpose-built mosque in the UK, apparently https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shah_Jahan_Mosque,_Woking
Comment is about A Foreign Wood (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thanks for the feedback!
I appreciate the kind words and advice.
Comment is about The Hike (blog)
Original item by Ali Bell
I love this poem. Hummingbirds are my favorite animals. :)
Great job with the rhyme. I especially like the line "singing faires lulabies"
Comment is about Humming bird (blog)
Original item by mollie learmonth
<Deleted User> (13947)
Mon 13th Jul 2015 00:53
I love your brutal honesty and lack of hiding in this. You put it all out there and I admire that. I smiled so fully for Feb 1st and had flashbacks of my father's Jan 31sts. Truly an amazing piece. Thank you for sharing Stu. Great work!
Comment is about sober (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
There are some things you never forget, especially stinging nettles, ouch !
Comment is about free (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Nice one Tommy. this definitely has a lyrical flow to with a good connections and social comment in the lines.
Comment is about You at the back of the queue (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
See below
The name Saxe-Coburg-Gotha should send shivers of terror through the Windsors for some reason.
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
To all these above views I would simply add that youth is mostly extreme in its ideals which is how it should be, as that is like a graph of personal development and cannot be perceived as the ultimate good sense in a situation. I think the same applies in terms of the worship of music idols - which cynical businessmen have always exploited. Nobody seems to complain about that.
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Rhodes was 10 x the murder than Shipman. However some people in these parts use the avoirdupois system or imperial weights and measures to ascertain the validity of homicidal verisimilitude. And we all know that scales don't lie.
. Keep the statue of him and other murdering b*****ds, just chisel around their likeness' a litany of their filthy deeds. Let us start with Rhodes then All the monarchy since Harold (poor Harold) were foreign (foreign swine).
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
How abt a Harold shipman statue in your doctor's surgery, as he is responsible for far less murdering, pain and loss than Mengler.
Comment is about HISTORY TO SUIT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Great imagery and structure! The way you organize your lines makes it less rigid and more free, like the image you are describing.
Comment is about tanning (blog)
Original item by jeremy young
Nice one, Stu. Refreshingly nostalgic and I love the line adolescent astigmatism . Calamine: a great healer as I found out when I got chicken pox at 28!
Thanks for your comments on A Memory of Heat - blimey it got a good response all round. Not bad for fifty years ago I suppose!
Comment is about free (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Sun 12th Jul 2015 17:08
Hi Louise,
Chris from the Gford workshop here.
Just a self promo spam in order for you to czech out my stuff here! :)
Cheers,
C
Comment is about Louise Etheridge (poet profile)
Original item by Louise Etheridge
Of course poetry overlaps with other subjects. The Pond of Poetry IS all subjects, and our individual baits and hooks will catch unending diverse Points and Plots with skills suitable to the subject and Projected readership/listening audience.
And I do apologize for such a lame metaphor; but it flipped right into my head and flopped around my mind so I decided - Hell's Bells - just go with it.
Comment is about Armitage ready to investigate the role of rap in modern poetry (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Gregg,
On a personal note, you have set my mind at rest about that Middle Eastern type edifice I used to see from the train during my many union negotiating visits to Woking.
(somehow, I never got around to asking)
Comment is about A Foreign Wood (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thank you so much Ali.
David
Comment is about MY FATHER'S WATCH (blog)
Original item by David Subacchi
Sun 12th Jul 2015 12:30
Ooh, I like this Cynthia, and I so love that about poetry - that possibility of endless interpretations that the poet cannot predict or control x
Comment is about A Poet's View (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
There are some really nice ideas in this piece Ali (including the arrow). I particularly liked the fallen trees applauding your ability to pick your way through them and the rocks written by the words of the creek. Some great images.
Comment is about The Hike (blog)
Original item by Ali Bell
a wonderful description of a moment in time. at the end of several lines, i could picture quite clearly the train, the passing of the girders and the billowing of smoke. great stuff, i'm on my fifth or sixth read through.
Comment is about MEMORY OF HEAT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (13762)
Sun 12th Jul 2015 08:36
Hi Ali, I really like the way this resembles an arrow waymarking a trail or footpath. Whether intentional or not, adding and subtracting a few words would make it clearer. Thanks for posting.
Comment is about The Hike (blog)
Original item by Ali Bell
Great poem- really describes how objects left behind by loved ones remain a connection with them.
Comment is about MY FATHER'S WATCH (blog)
Original item by David Subacchi
Joyti
Sun 12th Jul 2015 00:01
My father worked on the railroad in India, I was often captive to his regime. I greatly enjoy your work.
Never doubt it.
Comment is about MEMORY OF HEAT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thanks guys, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was an incredibly cathartic experience writing this and I hope that shows in the piece. I take a lot of influence from Bukowski and the thing I love most about him is how he left everything on the page. No one was left in any doubt as to his life and emotions. I try to get that feeling into my poems.
Comment is about sober (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
ali bell
Tue 14th Jul 2015 19:15
Great expression of time. I especially like the last two stanzas.
Comment is about Time (blog)
Original item by Lewis O'Brien