Hi Cynthia 'Bare Bones' your suggestions spot on thank you and these have been incorporated into the amended poem. I knew a tweak was needed but couldn't quite work out where, being too close to it.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Made me chuckle! :-D

Comment is about Oh eck! (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Really scary are those who make interpretations of Revelations according to their own agendas, and declare themselves 'masters of the universe and all therein'.

I did smile at 'i finished my bible today' as though anyone ever 'finishes' the bible. And the quirky take on Shakespeare was fab.

Comment is about Biblical Imbecility (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Nothing wrong with pointless poetry.

Comment is about Oh eck! (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I like 'and the lies you're fed'. A very pertinent poem on a strong theme - which can metaphorically 'go anywhere'.

Comment is about You in the gilded cage (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Not pointless cos it made me smile and I've not felt like doing that for a while.

I just love the way the last line doesn't scan. xx

Comment is about Oh eck! (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

love a good scruff. this piece is very succint, very tidy. i like it

Comment is about A little bit more. (blog)

Aha aha .... thank you dearest Beulah for turning that key ;-) Great poem too WOL is a wealthier place with you in it ;-) Now to slay that Dragon ;-) xx

Comment is about Thaumaturgically Charged (blog)

Original item by Beulah

Cute and catchy. Those little moments always reflect the big picture, don't they? Especially our own personalities. Poetry is so 'telling'! I've always thought you must be a delightful person to know.

Comment is about Life in the Mad House (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Lots of sweetness from you RB :) xx

Comment is about Short but not so sweet. (blog)

Thank-you for your lovely comment on my poem. X

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Newbury, I totally agree. An excellent little structured poem to jolt a lot of thought into gear once again. I too think 'motivation' is the core 'ideal' in any use of the word; and then, 'who' uses it. I can never reconcile people sent deliberately to their certain slaughter with no chance of survival whatsoever, a strategy engineered since time out of memory. How are those poor souls 'heroes'?

Comment is about TWO SIDES OF A COIN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hello Isobel, thanks for reading "Two Minutes"

I wasn't intending to write something about the 11/11 weekend (hence the lateness) and after writing it down as experienced, still wasn't sure.
There had been a short clip on our local news of a line of soldiers "going over the top" and one particular lad was felled almost before his legs had trod out of the trench.
It left me feeling hollow for a time.
Luckily, if that is the right expression, I didn't lose anyone in either of the two world wars so have never felt a real connection to it, other than a shared grief and remembrance.
But I couldn't get the picture of that lad hanging there out of my minds-eye for a long time. Regards, Graham.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

yes teju i think if the world were fair they would...some of em like to really carve a scar however as if to prove their own existence and they do..in doubt, in fear, in contradiction, so insecurely they leave a trace like a ghost and i wonder how they ever got near...

Comment is about You (blog)

Original item by Teju Chosen Poet

I enjoyed this very much, Teju, love the contradictions.

Comment is about You (blog)

Original item by Teju Chosen Poet

Love your poem, Chris, it works for me.

Comment is about Why does mankind wage war and kill? (blog)

Wow! I really enjoyed this poem, Stella. To me at least, it is all good. :)

Comment is about In Hope of Wonder (blog)

Hi Lynn, thank you for commenting on 'Bare Bones' and 'Pillars' your kind remarks so appreciated.

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Just chuffin' brilliant

Another thirty years.

ant

Comment is about Mission Creep (with audio!) (blog)

Original item by Attila the Stockbroker

Brilliant! loved the audio?

Comment is about Mission Creep (with audio!) (blog)

Original item by Attila the Stockbroker

Too right I don't mean it, so 'ands orft!
Lol, thank you so much for comment, Stef&Patricia
Love, Lynn xx

Comment is about Life in the Mad House (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for your comments all.

@Rachel - answer to question in 3rd para - you'd hope so.

@ Andy - thanks, I'll consider, however, it's my first draft and that wasn't the ending I intended initially. I think it's clear to see that the last stanza is quite different from the first two. It's in this one that I decided to change who the narrator is speaking to.

Comment is about You (blog)

Original item by Teju Chosen Poet

Hi Alana,
Thanks for your kindnesses... 'smote' is as in the past tense of the (old english?) verb 'to smite'. Technically I think it means 'to hit', but the verse is intentionally overwrought and pretentious so I thought the malapropism appropriate. Enjoyed your profile samples although I haven't read them all yet. Will leave a comment or two when I have. I've not been active on the site for a long while. Time to get back into the swim.
Take care
Tim

Comment is about Tim King (poet profile)

Original item by Tim King

This is a really fun piece Ann, although I have to say it annoys me somewhat, in that it's one of those poems that which subliminally "repeats" on me! Since I read it I can't get the beat or rhymes of it out of my head! (should it be tawdry/tawdrey?)

Born in a bucket - luxury! I used to dream of being born in a bucket - it would have seemed a palace to me!

(Anyway, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself . . . :)

Regards,

A.E. X

Comment is about bucket (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hello Harry - I go along with the idea that
the nearest we might get to true heroism is the
"cold blooded" variety - still doing the deed
despite the known risks. The secret agents who
went to Occupied Europe knowing what they faced
if caught by the Gestapo is probably my idea
of that. But one could also argue that they &
others might have deep-set reasons beyond the
usual range of motivation, which itself might be "suspect" - even reaching extremes beyond what we might consider "normal" behaviour.
In short, the subject of heroism is endlessly
fascinating, with no ready answer to one or the
other within the bounds of opportunity and -
perhaps particularly relevant - circumstance.

Comment is about TWO SIDES OF A COIN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

M.C. Hi!
As Chesterton pointed out: The paradox of heroism, is that when the hero feels most fearful and cowardly, and yet goes ahead and performs the heroic act, then the virtue of heroism is at its zenith.

The greatest coward, then could be the greatest hero.

(but only if he performs the heroic act)

Comment is about TWO SIDES OF A COIN (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hi lovely Larisa.

yes indeed,
there is no better medicine
for the mind,than poetry

as well as gin and tonic-haha.

you are definitely writing better
(in my humble opinion)

Love

Stef and Tricia.xx

Comment is about Why Poetry? (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Howdy Ma'am
just mosied in
from the cattle drive,to say
this is a mighty fine poem-
yee-haw!

theres gunfire from the O.K. corral-
I best skeedaddle-ok?

get up thar horsey!

Comment is about JUST GIVE ME A COWBOY POET (blog)

A hoot! This took me to another life long gone
when I was on protection duty helping an
informant pass the time - solo. He was carrying golf clubs and I was carrying a pistol
I'm not sure who was more deadly! I had to repress a chuckle when two real golfers appeared and suggested a "foursome".

Comment is about Golf Clubs (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

aw Lynn!
how can you even think
of getting rid of a dog
with eyes like that.

I know you don,t mean it
but just in case,
I,ll be ready for his collection!

love

Stef&Patricia.xx

Comment is about Life in the Mad House (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

thanks Iso just resurfaced out of the cold...hehe

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

bit of fun in response to your comment TC.

Comment is about Thaumaturgically Charged (blog)

Original item by Beulah

Giggled all through this one, John, very funny, enjoyed.

Comment is about Golf Clubs (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I agree with Harry, Stella. Second half great. First half creates a mood, but what to project on to it????

Comment is about In Hope of Wonder (blog)

And I am so glad I read this.. :)

Comment is about Hampstead Heath (blog)

Original item by Dali

Thanks for the comment on In Hope of Wonder...thoughts tend to wander at the waters edge don't you think?.. :)

Comment is about Dali (poet profile)

Original item by Dali

Hi Charlotte - not sure why your name isn't on there.. I have re-edited it now.. Odd because everywhere it is - your name is mentioned.. Strange stuff..

Thanks for letting me know either way.

See you Tuesday

A

Comment is about Charlotte Henson (poet profile)

Original item by Charlotte Henson

Great, one of my favourite themes/motives too. This one flows smoothly yet cuts deep. Thanks for reading my Balloons in the tree too
Dali

Comment is about In Hope of Wonder (blog)

Such a flow to this write..soothing..like it very much :)

Comment is about WINTER GALLOPS (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

wow and this is what you came up with?..I am impressed Ann..hmm gollum-like creature huh?..

Comment is about bucket (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

yes it is a great read..

Comment is about Balloons in the tree (blog)

Original item by Dali

I like this... It has so many differing images, which makes it an interesting read!

Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

Strong women, I like it xx

Comment is about You (blog)

Original item by Teju Chosen Poet

Wonderful, I laughed at using 1st line, done it so many times, you took me away to exotica, very nice,Welcome to wol, I just picked you randomly x

Comment is about Teju Chosen Poet (poet profile)

Original item by Teju Chosen Poet

Uni-fawn haha you certainly rhymed this, x

Comment is about Tim King (poet profile)

Original item by Tim King

I love Requiem for a daisy? and how you didn't rhyme petticoat? very clever, What is smote? x

Comment is about Tim King (poet profile)

Original item by Tim King

Brilliant, fantastic word play use of words, everything, wasn't keen on rubic's cube? not swear word, I just didn't get polythene? (too clever for me) but I think the rest is wonderful xx

Comment is about The Scarlet Prophecies Part One (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Hey Andy, thought I'd let you know that the WOL Gig Guide description for the 15th has now removed all mention of me altogether o_e

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

*cough* and Charlotte Henson -_-

Review is about A Means to an End Concert on 15 Nov 2011 (event)

Charming poem this and quite sophisticated, I especially enjoyed 'there's a vastness slowly rising .......[did you know] in moonbeams, eyesflash indigo' and the intro 'cold blue giant' as I haven't heard the sea expressed in that way before.

Enjoyed the almost casual conversational tone as your ideas unfolded. All of it enjoyable and the last 5 lines of personal reflection which is of someone looking back on life as we all do at times and asking the 'what-if' questions.

Comment is about In Hope of Wonder (blog)