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Nick Coleman

Thu 10th Nov 2011 16:53

Hello Cynthia. Just found your poetry and had an enjoyable and thoughtful time reading it.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 10th Nov 2011 16:46

Several points/issues are raised in your comments, and they all interest me. About the 'blogs' and what triggers reader interest, I think it is foremost the title and the first line 'hook', or at most the first three lines clearly seen in the blog box. Also familiarity with, and respect for, the writer plays a big part; you come to expect something worth reading, even if off to a slowish start.

The issue of on-line publishing cancelling competitive opportunities is a real problem. I've almost ceased to care about the competitions where that is a rule. It's a sticky topic. Working only on-line exposes only those readers who personally communicate. Who knows how many others read your output? This is exactly like having a book published, of course, but silver may have crossed palms to make the uncertainty more palatable. Or does it really?

There is an avalanche of small poetry 'chapbooks' in the limited market, even locally, costing anywhere from a fiver to fifteen pounds. In one book I calculated the cost per word, a stupid, pointless thing to do, but I had been expecting more poems for my money and this activity watered down my ire (laughing at my own idiocy.) My shelves are bulging with 'little books' and I am discouraged about buying more regardless of the demonstrated talent, or critical hype in advance. I am interested in anthologies, but only if the poets included have a sufficient number of poems for the reader to really 'get a voice', no fewer that ten per writer.

I'm writing rather hurriedly; so please bear with errors in structure or spelling. I did think 'neophyte' was funny, considering the background then shared.

Comment is about Neophyte (blog)

Original item by Alan Gillott

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 10th Nov 2011 16:23

I found the points raised and the problems
met both interesting and stimulating. Of course, the "net" is a voracious thing and one
has to weigh up the advantages of its huge
potential "readership" with the difficulties
met with events and outlets like competitions.
I have had stuff published in hard copy (both paid and at my own expense) and it is always a question of intent and ambition.
I tend of think along the lines of "poems get
remembered; novels get remaindered." - but each
to his/her own. Lastly, I find that the poetry
press can be somewhat self-defeating, with its
narrow "modernist" approach, forgetting or
ignoring the reality that whilst it may be
fashionable and P.C. to deride the likes of
Kipling, the fact remains that such work finds
a popular response amongst the wider public,
and it should send out a message that his poem "IF" was voted the nation's favourite.
As with much modern classical music, the
mechanics appear to have been allowed to achieve precedence over the content and its connection with our humanity. Obscurity isn't
much good if the message is lost in the telling. In this corresponding musical sense -
simply put, the "tune" (itself something of a rarity nowadays) is now subservient to how
tricks can be played with it; if, indeed a tune appears in the first place.
A hymn like "Abide With Me" has a fine lyric
AND a simple but memorable melody. Both give it huge emotional power. It needs nothing more.

Comment is about Neophyte (blog)

Original item by Alan Gillott

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Nov 2011 15:47

Awww - what a lovely piece. I love the vinegar to wine and in the 'old bag' - funny, clever, and poignant :)

Comment is about The Big Hill (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (7212)

Thu 10th Nov 2011 14:52

haha - it says more about you than me ;)
(kissing gate)

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Nov 2011 14:49

Haha Houston - funny description there! Must admit, I had to turn it off myself within about 60 seconds! :D

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

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Julian (Admin)

Thu 10th Nov 2011 14:20

On a friend's Honda 90, going base over apex over the handlebars because I had not realised there was also a back brake put me off a little. Though I once borrowed a pal's Suzuki 500 - no licence for it - and was lucky enough to pass the most 'difficult' pupil in the school where I taught. Lucky because he was so impressed (he thought I was a biker; I was actually only just keeping it under control) he was good as gold for me at school thereafter.

Comment is about BSA Bantam (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

<Deleted User> (9801)

Thu 10th Nov 2011 14:16

Ha Ha very honest! xx

Comment is about How do I love thee? (blog)

Original item by Julian Jordon

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winston plowes

Thu 10th Nov 2011 10:57

Hi Tom, Its the Iris for me but I do like lilies too. I had never heard of the NYTC till now that is! just had a quick listen to intercontinental track drift though. I think my cats run them a close second if you threw them into a small room full of musical intruments and scatterd a few flakes of tuna around the place. H

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Nov 2011 09:37

Enjoyed this - very strong, and the caged bird idea turned on its head - clever

Comment is about You in the gilded cage (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

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Laura Taylor

Thu 10th Nov 2011 09:33

Yeh, sorry - tried to add a voice recording but I can't seem to convert my amr file to an mp3 goddammit.

Anyhow, the 'idolater' should rhyme with 'revelations' and magog has a flat 'a'.

There, that makes it MUCH more understandable eh?!

I guess there is only a very limited amount of people who will 'get' this - but it amused me anyway ;D



Comment is about Biblical Imbecility (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

steve mellor

Thu 10th Nov 2011 08:27

as ever, i'm somewhat lost, but put me down for being on your side Laura
hold on a minute, i think someone's knocking at my door ...
i've just been offered a free trip to one of the four corners of the earth
temptation!!

Comment is about Biblical Imbecility (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Rachel Bond

Thu 10th Nov 2011 01:15

great idea kenny, well written x

Comment is about You in the gilded cage (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

<Deleted User> (9635)

Wed 9th Nov 2011 23:54

really enjoyed this ray

Comment is about The Pits (blog)

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 9th Nov 2011 23:47



I enjoyed this read thanks..the metaphor is strong for me :)

Comment is about You in the gilded cage (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

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Dave Bradley

Wed 9th Nov 2011 22:23

Powerful poem Stella. As others have said, it worked as performance and it certainly works on the page

Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 9th Nov 2011 21:53

You make some very unusual connections in this poem Stella. I would never have thought of combining Christmas and romance in a poem about landmines and wasted life.
The last verse carries a very powerful punch though and I like the use of colour. As Laura says, you do perform this poem beautifully. x

Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

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Poets Corner

Wed 9th Nov 2011 20:09

A Poem entitled 'The Pull' by Graham Robinson (after divorce)

You go into a pub a club or a bar
it doesn't matter where you are-
you are looking good and smelling fine
perhaps you drinking some beer or wine-
you look around for that encouraging smile
then you sit quietly and wait for a while-
suddenly you catch a lady's fleeting glance
Yes! there is eye contact, it's not just chance-
you see her breasts rising both up and down
look she is smiling at you there is no frown-
you walk over slowly, smile and say Hi or hello
she thinks Oh bloody hell here we go-
you think she reminds you of your ex
she thinks you are like most men and just want sex-
you both feel that vital chemistry straight away
and you know that it is only a matter of time before you share that overnight stay!

(From my book 'Observations On Life' - available from Graham or www.countyvise)..this poem was read out by Graham on City talk FM.

Comment is about Graham Robinson (poet profile)

Original item by Graham Robinson

<Deleted User> (7075)

Wed 9th Nov 2011 19:36

Hi Rob,

I have pasted in a temp photo of you for now as you said you were having a few probs. Just replace it and add some samples when you can. Winston

Comment is about Robert Goodier (poet profile)

Original item by Robert Goodier

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 9th Nov 2011 19:12


I too enjoyed this Yvonne..like the jump my eyes had to make.. :)

Comment is about DEFINED (blog)

Original item by Yvonne

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 9th Nov 2011 18:42



In late (my wol has been playing up but seems a little better now) WoW Ray...thought provoking and strong .. super work.. :)

Comment is about The Pits (blog)

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 9th Nov 2011 18:34


Oh you idolatress you...packed a punch Laura...Magog..well when that final battle comes remind which side to be on..

Comment is about Biblical Imbecility (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 9th Nov 2011 17:13

J.C. - you are surely the best interpreter of your humorous verse - classic rendering that
stands alongside Stanley Holloway - no sweat!
Like Greg - I have only been a pillion passenger but that was enough for me. I had that feeling of having no control over my immediate destiny!! But a pal has a Vincent
Black Shadow and rides it all over the world.

Comment is about BSA Bantam (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 9th Nov 2011 17:00

I hear what you say about the last line - but
it helps if you pause just that little bit
longer after "lie" - and read the last line
almost as an afterthought.
I was torn between making it tidier and making
it say what I felt - and the latter won.
Many thanks for the comments.

Comment is about OLD SOLDIERS - a poem for Remembrance Day (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Philipos

Wed 9th Nov 2011 16:55

Hi Nick, 'Elegy for Youth' many thanks for the kind comments.

Comment is about Nick Coleman (poet profile)

Original item by Nick Coleman

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Rachel Bond

Wed 9th Nov 2011 15:58


peaches are soft and fuzzy and lovely to eat but
apples grow back at home
where youre from
in that sphere of real
and we should know better
than to think
the appeal of the peach will be enough for
us to eat and keep healthy.

blah blah, good poem, its all food for thought.

Comment is about Short but not so sweet. (blog)

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 9th Nov 2011 14:34


John had a new motorbicycle
Which he used to think all very nicecycle,
But he thought it got last
When he tried to go fast
For his nose it got froze like an icecycle.

John, twenty stone on a 175 c.c. is sheer cruelty to motor bikes.

Comment is about BSA Bantam (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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John Embley

Wed 9th Nov 2011 14:02

My sympathies!
Had one as well ... I was working at the time in electronics design, quite complex stuff, amplifiers and suchlike for the Post Office, but one thing I couldn't fix when it went wrong was the bloody electrics on that bike ...

Comment is about BSA Bantam (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Laura Taylor

Wed 9th Nov 2011 12:18

Absolutely LOVED this when you read it at the Tudor Stella - fantastic poem, in all respects, and you are a brilliant performer to boot

Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

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Ray Miller

Wed 9th Nov 2011 11:08

Thanks, Isobel, Dave, Steve, John. The poem was inspired by a book I'm very fond of, Journal of a Plague Year, by Daniel Defoe.The narrator tells of fortitude in the face of hardship and suffering yet can't help but chide humanity from time to time for its wickedness and lack of faith.
I suppose I understand and accept the need for suffering, but only in principle,only theoretically.
Ill look up those poets, Steve, thanks.Funny you should mention Eliot. The Defoe book inspired another poem of mine, His Works, which someone likened to Eliot.
The Pie Tavern is a pub in the book that the narrator retires to after some particularly distressing scenes. I wanted to include it because it's such a great name for a pub!
I guess it depends how you pronounce "torments", John.

Comment is about The Pits (blog)

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John Coopey

Wed 9th Nov 2011 09:28

Moi aussi. Very powerful, Ray. I read this a few times and found some avenue of image new easch time.
I don't understand though the reference to the Pie Tavern (unless it's Mrs Miggins's from Blackadder!).
Also, I know you know what you're doing so you must have a reason for inverting the iambic rhythm into trochaic for "for what torments". This last line didn't quite work rhythmically for me.

Comment is about The Pits (blog)

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Dave Bradley

Wed 9th Nov 2011 00:13

Powerful. Perplexity and anger in a form that works. Two books come to mind. The Problem of Pain by CS Lewis (1940). A serious attempt to cover the subject by one of the twentieth century's brightest Christians. It reads well and has sold well, but years later he admitted it was too superficial. And Silence by Shusaku Endo (1966), said to be one of the century's greatest novels. Endo was that rare thing, a Japanese Catholic. He wrestled with God's silence in the face of suffering and in the end could find no answer. If there is a God, as I believe, then there must be an answer, but it is unimaginable.

Comment is about The Pits (blog)

Lizzie

Tue 8th Nov 2011 23:49

Love the flow of this poem, beautifully written.

Comment is about Home (blog)

Original item by Ushiku Crisafulli

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Steve Regan

Tue 8th Nov 2011 23:28

All this talk of bare arses reminds me ... I must find somewhere decent to park my bike!

Comment is about The male muse: poetic chaps bare more than their souls for charity (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Greg Freeman

Tue 8th Nov 2011 23:06

Love the detail in this, John, although I was never a biker. But I once rode pillion and went through the pain barrier at 70mph along the A3 one January at about 6.30am, to go and queue at Chelsea for Cup tickets. That was enough for me.

Comment is about BSA Bantam (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Isobel

Tue 8th Nov 2011 22:20

This is very powerful Stuff, Ray. Understanding the existence of suffering is one of the hardest things for a believer to explain. In fact it is beyond explanation.

The simplistic idea that the afterlife is some reward or penalty is also hard to believe. You are tackling the big questions in this poem...

I love the tight construction of it and the language you have used.

If I were to plead the case for God - I would say that his image and public persona is one created by man - ironically...

Comment is about The Pits (blog)

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Ray Miller

Tue 8th Nov 2011 21:57

Nice poem, Stella. Maybe needs tidying up a bit.Loved these lines

fine wine loosens the tongue

and the table-top drums

to our laughter.

I assume you mean "you know too well".
Not quite sure who is the "other" but definitely think you should end the line on it, perhaps omit "you say" entirely.


Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

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Nick Coleman

Tue 8th Nov 2011 21:17

Love it. you got us old bbbbritish bbbbbikers to a tee. teenage leather gloves on cylinder fins atop the forest on 5am way to unpaid pigfarm work in the snow. Push start down the hill every day, top speed of mine -65mph for all of its 250cc's. Your poem is a Classic.

Comment is about BSA Bantam (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Nick Coleman

Tue 8th Nov 2011 21:08

Thought provoking. I like this. Sadly Afghanistan is a life time away for too many

Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

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Graham Eccles

Tue 8th Nov 2011 21:05

Don't worry Steve, I'm born and bred estate trash myself, if you get scared, you can hide behind me. I have to copy and paste this from FB too, hope it's OK Adam - We can confirm that our surprise naked guest poet is Owen Sheers - his image will only be shown at the exhibition... and thats legally binding (no digital copies and even the negatives have been destroyed) its your only chance to see this man. That should drag them out the woodwork.

Comment is about The male muse: poetic chaps bare more than their souls for charity (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

<Deleted User> (9801)

Tue 8th Nov 2011 21:05

Red very profound! white powdered habit? pulling the wrong shift? I'ts tragic really, I am having lots of probs on wol? keep struggling through. xx

Comment is about Christmas Comes Early (blog)

<Deleted User> (9801)

Tue 8th Nov 2011 20:45

I enjoyed reading this! I love last line, brings it all together and makes you remember x

Comment is about OLD SOLDIERS - a poem for Remembrance Day (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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John Coopey

Tue 8th Nov 2011 20:41

Wotcha MC.
Another cracker. Philipos has it about right when he says the brevity and simplicity only enhances its power and poignancy.
I go back far enough to remember the Armistice Day parades being of the young men and the old. Then there seemed to be only old men. How sad there that are young men again.

Comment is about OLD SOLDIERS - a poem for Remembrance Day (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

<Deleted User> (6315)

Tue 8th Nov 2011 20:39


Ahh I liked this..it is very effective in it's message :)

Comment is about OLD SOLDIERS - a poem for Remembrance Day (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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John Coopey

Tue 8th Nov 2011 20:35

Me too. It's been very, very slow recently. I can almost keep up with it!

Comment is about Is Anyone Else Having Problems Navigating WOL?? (blog)

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John Coopey

Tue 8th Nov 2011 20:25

Good to see you post again, Shirley.
Enjoyed this. A true story of your expeience?
I still think it would come across even better accompanied by a southern drawl in an audio!

Comment is about A Small Story about a Small Town (blog)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Tue 8th Nov 2011 19:38

Strange to hear it. It's so easy to use, so quick to install anything here. May be your internet is slow.

Comment is about Is Anyone Else Having Problems Navigating WOL?? (blog)

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jane wilcock

Tue 8th Nov 2011 18:46

Hi Julian,
Just read this as back from hols. You use use Olympian as a negative adjective, I am so excited about the Olympics!! Perhaps it's possible to be a literary athlete literally?

Comment is about Spam, spam, spam, spam… (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Nick Coleman

Tue 8th Nov 2011 18:45

Thanks for kind comment. You keep on writing - and I do also like the illustrations

Comment is about Shirley Smothers (poet profile)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

Philipos

Tue 8th Nov 2011 17:59

I really enjoyed this it has a great economy of words without effecting its power. Might I suggest you lose one of the words in the last line of the final stanza, perhaps 'but' to maintain the otherwise excellent flow.

Comment is about OLD SOLDIERS - a poem for Remembrance Day (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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