thanks to all for the comments here.. the piece actually was originally wrote for a workshop a few years back (i can't remember now what we had to write exactly) but when dave announced the comp, it was straight away a contender for totally rewriting.. Andy N
Comment is about Escape (blog)
Original item by Andy N
thanks for the comments M8 on Summer is here I wrote this after getting soaked at lunchtime on Wednesday and thinking oh god - here we go again - lol.. particularly enjoyed God’s Marble Collection although i suspect that would tie me up in knots trying to perform it - lol A
Comment is about C Richard Miles (poet profile)
Original item by C Richard Miles
thanks for the comments Greg on Summer is here I wrote this after getting soaked at lunchtime on Wednesday and thinking oh god - here we go again - I have no plans to perform it to be honest or indeed publish it truth be told.. It's a moment poem if that makes sense to you, but glad you like.. Andy
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
thanks for the comment Kath on Summer is here I wrote this after getting soaked at lunchtime on Wednesday and thinking oh god - here we go again - lol..
Comment is about Kath Hewitt (poet profile)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
thanks for the comments John on Summer is here I wrote this after getting soaked at lunchtime on Wednesday and thinking oh god - here we go again - i could taste the rain also.... A
Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)
Original item by John Darwin
thanks for the comments all, folks.. wrote this after getting soaked at lunchtime and thinking oh god on Wednesday - here we go again.. A
Comment is about Summer is Here (blog)
Original item by Andy N
<Deleted User> (7212)
Thu 9th Jun 2011 21:11
for an old bint you ain't half got a dirty mind !
On that note, ....a friend of mine has been avoiding men for years - frightened that she might catch something.... then she goes & catches E.Coli off a cucumber !
(I hope your cucumbers are all safe Ann)
Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
<Deleted User> (7212)
Thu 9th Jun 2011 21:06
I told my mum back in April - don't forget these two weeks of unseasonal sunshine, cos THIS is summer - she thought I was joking, but I wasn't... looks like I was right.. Again !
Comment is about Summer is Here (blog)
Original item by Andy N
<Deleted User> (7212)
Thu 9th Jun 2011 21:02
very well written, honest & evocative.
I wonder if it would be too much too hope for a poem on WOL giving us a girl's eye view of those teenage fumblings ??
Comment is about Keeping The Scent Of Insignificance From The Door (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Ah...
The great British weather - always a superb source of inspiration. Loved this (especially after a soaking today at a school sports day!) and Wimbledon's just around the corner...
Comment is about Summer is Here (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Enjoyed this Greg. Know exactly what you mean I was there for a couple of hours last year,it was sad.
Comment is about Nights in Prestatyn (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I liked the pace,the sadness and the anger comes through.I expect many single Dads will relate to this poem John. Good poem.
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
Hi John
I must admit it took me back to my boyhood days-
Thanks for the memories.
Brian
Comment is about Keeping The Scent Of Insignificance From The Door (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Thank you for your kind words.
I've got several animal poem ideas at the moment, it's just finding the time to write them all :)
Comment is about Nutty Squirrel (blog)
Original item by Ushiku Crisafulli
I can identify with this, Martin ... well, waiting for a bus at King's Cross, anyway. And that swirl of people around the station can be exhilerating
Comment is about Invisible (blog)
Original item by Martin Togher
like this Kealo, 'the clot of the public' good words.
John
Comment is about The Lost Bodies Of Last Year's Summer (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
When you get to your 40s, there is a feeling that you are invisible to people in their 20s.
Comment is about Invisible (blog)
Original item by Martin Togher
This is a really fine poem, Alison, which will be up there with the best in the competition. But obviously far more than just a poem.
Comment is about Tough old boots (blog)
Original item by Alison Smiles
After a crack house closure in Hackney.
Comment is about My Birthday (blog)
Original item by Martin Togher
For my obviously major sins in a previous life, I manage Social Housing. This one was inspired many years ago by a neighbour dispute over a shared garden!
Comment is about Shared Garden (blog)
Original item by Martin Togher
Cheers all, will be on here more now, if only for my aged uncle John Togher!
Comment is about Martin Togher (poet profile)
Original item by Martin Togher
Thanks all.I wish I could remember now why I thought of the shops idea - I wrote it about a year ago and have recently rearranged it, because I want to perform it with an accomplice sat on stage speaking the shop names. It would be great to think he was reading On The Road but no, I made that up.
Comment is about Attention Deficit (blog)
This is lovely, Ann, especially the final verse, wonderful rhythm and language. That said, I wonder why the 2nd verse isn't more compact, like the last one.
I want to buy you chocolate shoes
with parma violets at the heel
and as the chocolate melts into
the tender crevice slip my tongue
to find the delicacy there
the cleavage inbetween your toes
Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
The whole poem is an image in the butter tray, melting, as seen through your shoes (for there is no horizon here ;-)
Thank you for sharing your wordsmithing. You hammered it well.
Comment is about Present (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Hello Alison,
Thanks so much for your comment on my Turncoat poem. I thought it was going to be another one with not even a gravestone comment ;-) But you stepped into the breach. I'm glad you were brave enough to like it.
I must say that I love your "style naif". Very fetching (old-fashioned word which I like and which suits) with touches of wisdom.
Keep in touch!
With love & light,
Alan
Comment is about Alison Smiles (poet profile)
Original item by Alison Smiles
Repeating words here but I also found it beautiful and incredibly moving. I love your use of language in this.
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
I really enjoyed the quirky layout, run together and made up words, although it took some concentration to read through, it was rewarding to do that. Particularly liked the two verses from "Some years were spent in deskbound dread".
Comment is about The Turning Coat (blog)
Original item by Alan Morrison
Really enjoying the line "he subjugates snails". There's a mental image I did not anticipate!
Comment is about Nutty Squirrel (blog)
Original item by Ushiku Crisafulli
good stuff Andy, can smell the rain.
John
Comment is about Summer is Here (blog)
Original item by Andy N
This really catches a mood, Andy: how the British feel about their summers. And Mancunians in particular? If it was on the printed page you might drop the first two refrains but keep the third, whereas if you were performing it would be better to keep all three, perhaps? (My tiny contribution to the great performance poetry debate)
Comment is about Summer is Here (blog)
Original item by Andy N
thank you all for your comments and Ray I think you're right.
John
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
Thanks Isobel for your support :) (chocolate shoes) The idea came as I was walking past a posh chocolate shop in Truro and there were some chocolate shoes in the window. xx
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
It's a lovely poem and I like the 2nd verse very much. But isn't there a change of tense in the opening verse? This seems more apt to me
or dried your tears, or hid my own,
or felt protective rage come on
when careless strangers crossed your path
but it's been a long night and I could be wrong.
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
Thanks, Rodney,
Glad you liked it.
As a "newbie" to the site, I'm feeling my way in - not sure what will go down well. Some of my material like this may get posted because it is "of the moment" rather than for its correctness.
By Haiku, I mean Haiku format 5-7-5 rather than strict Haiku content - just wait till you see one of my "sonnets", a format I also overuse often inappropriately!
Comment is about Haikus from the 1st Test England v Sri Lanka 2011 (blog)
Original item by C Richard Miles
You don't happen to have her telephone number, do you, Gus?
Comment is about Beneath her Contemptuous Gaze (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Beautiful and deeply moving - I ached with you.
Impossible for me to choose favourite bits - it is all so natural and flowing and very, very human.
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
That's a lovely recording and performance. Your voice lends itself well to audio. What a shame you don't get more chance to perform your stuff - it really brings it to life. x
Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Powerfully poignant - made more so by the steady pace and skilful use of understatement
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
<Deleted User> (7212)
Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:36
Hi Cyn - yes, "yesterday" is also the first line of the poem - many thanks for reading & commenting. B
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Glad to see you around the place again!:)
Comment is about Beneath her Contemptuous Gaze (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Really great!!!
Comment is about Attention Deficit (blog)
Beautiful one, this, John. Some fantastic music in it: the stanza concluding "all buttoned, coiled and British" is the one I like the best.
Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)
Original item by John Darwin
Or you could go commando performance style and put on a gruff rough voice...
Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
kath hewitt
Thu 9th Jun 2011 22:35
Ha ha you are most welcome!
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N