Enjoyed this, Cynthia. The final stanza is interesting. It's a change of pace from a story with fascinating missing bits & 'what ifs' to an almost didactic approach. Poetically it doesn't seem to work very well but what is said there feels appropriate and interesting. It leaves the reader with the question - what are we to make of this institution called marriage?

Comment is about First Love (revised) (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for your comments on Colliers and Kids.
I too thoroughly enjoyed the Tudor.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

This is a poignant tale, Cynthia. I do agree that the last stanza is unnecessary and less poetic than the rest. You might also consider some sanding down to make lines like "she knows wooing memories is a twisted risk" stand out even more. One thing that struck me ... the idea that he could get a message to her from his deathbed almost instantly. In that way she was accessible to him at the last. As we are all to each other, thanks to the wonders of technology.

Comment is about First Love (revised) (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Decent, thoughtful, humane. Well done, Dave

Comment is about Christmas (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Of course in the Potteries they dust and polish Toby Jugs and Doulton figures for recreation and therapy, each one has a story and a memory, they're the ever-watching link with the past, and those passed.

Comment is about silver polish (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Oh the joys of Ebay! There, I can recapture my childhood!

Comment is about silver polish (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Dave - you encapsulate the then and now disparities of 'have's and have nots in society' summarised quite succinctly in your last poetry stanza thus: recognise common humanity/that's really what God said. Churchgoers or those who pray on the Heath would agree with you I'm sure. Nicely thought through

Comment is about Christmas (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

So you are telling me that is is his hand....pull the other one!

Comment is about Christmas (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Cynthia - This does resonate as a tragic tale of what if love and possibly a nostalgic memory of a first time sexual experience. It is about memories of the kind which take on a dimension of their own because what might have been is just fleetingly out of our grasp and as such should always remain part of the inner sanctum of the heart - I enjoyed reading this with its haunting take on a look back life - and as whistfully stated in your last stanza 'social structures can be (and still are very) cruel' well done

Comment is about First Love (revised) (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Ah! Spittley stubbly poems! Makes sense now! But I think I liked not knowing what you were on about! It does explain the last verse though, very well.

Comment is about This Virtual Life (blog)

And you accuse me of being romantic, Cynthia! I could never have written anything like this - cos I could never believe in a love enduring like that. For me, true love has to have some substance for it to endure. What this couple had was a fanciful love - never really put to the test - a romantic idea maybe but hardly real.

I did find the last verse a bit out of place, I must admit. I would need to hear more poetry substantiating what is in it, to understand it fully.
I like your narrative poetry though - it is always an interesting read. x

Comment is about First Love (revised) (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

So I take it you are one of the 12% who know the bible story then Dave...

Lovely messages. I like the piccie also - though I might have preferred a different angle - at least the snow doesn't seem to have affected him too adversely...

Comment is about Christmas (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Alternatively
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kCQVCrX5eo
also a poem by Corso called Humanity

Comment is about Christmas (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

A new one. If it resonates with anyone I would be interested in a comment, to see if I'm getting anywhere, or just stagnating. The last verse is a kind of epilogue, an imposed 'relevant' commentary about societies, maybe out of place, not sure.

Comment is about First Love (revised) (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Cynthia Thanks again for your kind comments. I didn't know whether the traditional rhyme and metre would put people off, but I thought I needn't it to go with the very formal title - sounds a bit like John Milton! I bet he wouldn't have been as laid back as me about it all. Have now got two delightful little Muslim grandsons as well!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Oh well, I wanted a little mystery, but not this much!It's about the life - and death - of poems, poems posted online to be specific.

Comment is about This Virtual Life (blog)

I really like this Ann - would go with what Greg says about it. It does a lovely job of linking time, place and emotion.
Thanks for commenting on 'Christmas' so quickly and positively - appreciated

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Full of warmth! I'm no christian but it gave me a bit of a glow - thanks for that!

Comment is about Christmas (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

The death of a parent perhaps? Poignant.

Comment is about This Virtual Life (blog)

Hi Ray - yes, I think it always was two poems! Funnily enough, it came about after a writing exercise (homework for a group of writing friends) where we each picked a random word and then had to fit all of them into a piece of writing. In this version I left out a bit which had "lighthouse" and "shadow" in! But tadpoles was one of the words - in fact, it was the one that I chose! The second bit is more like conversation, and describes a memory close to my heart.

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

This is an intriguing one Ray. I am torn in my understanding of it.

It could be about the birthing of a still born. It could be about the birthing of a live child - into a living death (if that's how one views life).
It could be about letting someone go and the fact that a life is so dispensable - so easily replaced in this burgeoning planet of ours.

I'm probably totally wrong on all counts but I enjoyed it anyway.
Isobel x

Comment is about This Virtual Life (blog)

Ann. I'll be a dissenting voice here. I think you have a cracking poem in the first 12 lines and don't need the rest. The last 3 lines I'd suggest:
The blackbird’s cadence slips surreptitious
between leaves of sadness,
and I'm the empty chalice on spring’s altar.

That's altar!

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Greg - thanks for commenting on the poem Plagiarism. I will contact you separately re: JJJ who like Johnny Walker is still going strong at 94 - who knows their paths may have crossed in bamboo glades - amazing the things you learn from talking to the regulars at Wetherspoons where he still pitches up for a daily pint or maybe two despite still driving to and from home

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

HI Ray Thought it was about time I caught up with some of yours. I must say that The Riverside Inn' Is beautifully cadenced with a wry touch of humour.

Comment is about Riverside Inn (blog)

Hi - I love this Ann, every bit - I thought it was a bit "out-of-time" & seems I was right. I have one about February written a few Feb's ago - but I'm going to wait til the coming Feb to post it ! XX. B

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Intriguing and thought-provoking.

Comment is about This Virtual Life (blog)

Thank you for the supporting comments on Timewise Ann - guess you get the eeriness where you live out in Cornwall eh - good to see your paw prints out here in Surrey though and thanks again

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thank you so much for your comments on my Primroses and Tadpoles poem. I always appreciate your kind and considered comments! Stay well, and if I don't get the chance to pass this way again, as it were (your profile page!), have a good christmas! ;-)

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks David for your comment on my poem 'Song of the Sunflower.' Your feedback is much appreciated. I shall move that poem to the blog area and put up another 'sampler' in its stead. Will be reading you again soon. Cheers, Frederick

Comment is about Dave Morgan (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Morgan

Thank you for the comment on 'Timewise' Greg much appreciated and hope you're coping with all this snow where you are

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

how dare you have thrown eggs at our future queens car-and missed! lol!

Comment is about How not to write an essay (blog)

Original item by Anna McCrory

Top, top form. Loads of beautiful lines in this, Ann. "The ice of winter cracks and melts./ Life bubbles through the water of the mere / and skeletons of trees smudge into green." Thanks for giving us this to look forward to. Psst! I think you should put it as a sample on your profile page

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ah i really enjoyed this Larisa - lovely lyrical feel.

Comment is about Day And Night (Russian romance) (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Hi Larisa - no problem - good to hear from you again. I've not been on here much lately! I always read your poems though when I see them.

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

This photo makes me wish I was there. Win X

Comment is about Jeffarama & Rachel Bond at the Tudor, Wigan December 2010 (photo)

No, i have a weakness for this style Ann, lol . Win x

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ta Win. I actually felt that the bit you mentioned sounded maybe too wordy and old fashioned. So glad you liked it!

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Ann,

thanks for posting this, Ah the southern lights. To be fair a bit of this (and not the northern lights bit grabbed me) its this -

The blackbird’s cadence slips surreptitiously
between the leaves of sadness,
but I am still the empty chalice on spring’s alter.

fabulous stuff and rhythm.

Win X

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Written last March - when it was a time of primroses and tadpoles!And it must be about six years ago that we saw the lights in the sky and heard our chickens sleeping.

Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Winston - thanks for the feedback on 'When' very much appreciated - gave me the chance to check the 'Dreaming of Dad' ghazal- lovely - has any of your bardsmanship rubbed off on the little one - time alone will tell I suppose

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Nice one. So Santa really was a Catholic priest?

Comment is about You better watch out! (blog)

Original item by Anna McCrory

I liked this a lot - light hearted and liberating - who'd of thought - Santa eh - call Rudolph to the witness stand but tell him to be careful with those antlers

Comment is about You better watch out! (blog)

Original item by Anna McCrory

Thanks for commenting on Nets, Ann. It was written about three years ago, when I had difficulty coming to terms with the journey my mother was setting out on.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove