This was so wonderfully descriptive. Loved the detail.

Comment is about Happy Tuesday (blog)

Original item by Lisa C Bassignani

as a devout anti-royalist Keith this was right up my horse guards parade so to speak. I can imagine that sigh must be very much worn thin by now. Cheers mate.

Comment is about The Emperor came to call (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Hi Belinda i'll give you my honest opinion for what it's worth. I love the title and the way you end the poem - like a sandwich of thoughts. The filling is perhaps too much to engage us completely although we feel sympathy and it feels good to share what you have been through. The third verse for me would be the first verse as it has so much impact, and the rest could naturally follow once the attention is fully engaged. That's what I would do but please do not view this as negative criticism. I never indulge those feelings on the back of others .

Ray

Comment is about On A Wing and A Prayer (blog)

Original item by Belinda Sue Kiser

It's nice to be honest and it works in poetry but you wouldn't find it in the corporate world I guess. Several layers at least of gloss with no undercoat. Yours truly Ray

Comment is about The New Version (blog)

Original item by d.knape

Hi Megan. I have read your every word. No it doesnt pretend to be poetry. There can be several reasons for posting on here and many suffer by it from shallow comments who miss the value of free expression. defending some mechanical and delusional thinking. I can see you'll never be one such person. What is significant here is the
Spirit of your writing warts and all(not such a problem. You have a big heart and a great sense of proportion and I profoundly agree with your thoughts uplifting and inspirational I found it. The matter of victims is highly important and necessarily the ones who sense them can abuse them. Such people are in a trap of karma I'd say. Gotta stop meals ready!! Stay in touch.
Ray

Comment is about Train of thoughts... (blog)

Original item by Magic

Yes... we are certainly manipulated by esoteric language set confuse.
Thank you for this
Keith (unashamed technophobe)

Comment is about The New Version (blog)

Original item by d.knape

Belinda - many on WOL would normally be quick to post in support of your lifelong struggle. ..not sure why they haven't done so in this case. Seeing a lot of supportive comments can often fool you into thinking that the poem itself has merit, which may or may not be the case. You'll need to decide this for yourself as poetry and prose are very much subjective.

For my part I don't enjoy reading poems about other peoples' struggles unless the piece itself has quality. Hope this helps.

Comment is about On A Wing and A Prayer (blog)

Original item by Belinda Sue Kiser

Beautifully expressed, the hopelessness of it all. Chances are we can't change it now, but the sad fact is that for every one of us who would rather die trying than just give up, there are a thousand saying, "Crisis, what Crisis?"
It seems likely that humanity will respond just that bit too late.
Great poem, great message.

J. x

Comment is about Rats (blog)

Original item by Heart of Lead

Next time I hire an editor I'll think of you. ? (I wasn't the BEST speller as a kid growing up :/ ) Look, I'm a recovering perfectionist, so letting go of not being perfect so I can create and flow is more important to me now.

And dude, why do you think it was titled, "train of thoughts....." that's exactly what happened, that's obvious. I don't want to not see what good feedback you have though... I should post more poetry.

I do appreciate your feedback. But I did have someone message me personally letting me know of your comment and that I had the right to write whatever I wanted. People can come here and take what they want and leave what they want. I can't say I'm sorry I disappointed you because I didn't meet your expectations, but I will consider your thoughts and thank you for the appreciating other things.

My freedom of speech won't be kept just in a poetry box, but if I want to write poetry or songs I sure will. (The button does say, "blog post," not poetry post.")
If me writing this helps you get out of your comfort zone and challenges your perfectionism by seeing every flawed spelled word of mine, then maybe that's okay.

*You do have a valid point. To be in the big league, one should hire an editor and play by the rules, that's totally correct. Where I'm at on my journey is for a different reason. I'm not here to be polished and perfect, I'm here to write out loud, and I'm putting my ugly, raw, imperfect self in front of others.

Comment is about Train of thoughts... (blog)

Original item by Magic

Loved this! Kudos Jeniffer! Also I've always loved the -edly words!?
Mae

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

Hi Jennifer. It's good that you used the word knowing it was valid - I'm afraid I didn't, as in 75 years I never seen or heard it and doesn't appear in my 1964 Oxford dictionary. Of course words should be made up and we're all the better for it. Where would we be without the Jabberwocky gyring and gimbling etc. I just find it hard to believe that a word like tired which describes a state of mind has to be itself further qualified. Though we all know wearily or sanely etc. I admit. I will try to adjust my brainwashed old mind to not only remember words now hardly ever used which I love but new variations.

Thanks for clearing that up ! I liked the poem a lot as I think you know.

Ray

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

Thanks all for the gratifying comments!! Presumably Ray claimed that tiredly didn't exist? Hate to say so, but in my posh Oxford Dic it does!!!!! . - tired adj. tiredly adv - tiredness noun. Who cares anyway- I see poets often use invented/doubled up/distorted words, so as far as I'm concerned, anything goes. The important thing is that the 'poem' means something to whoever reads it, and the more innovative the better.
this really happened to me, and the memory is still vivid. ( I wasn't 'trudging' but tiptapping along in very high stilettos,) A long time ago!!
Thanks also Devon and elPintor for the likes.
Jennifer

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

Very sharp of you, Don. Also the “could” and “would” rhymes of the 3rd and 5th stanzas. Subtle, eh?

Comment is about A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

My cheeks flush

and I'm not even flying

Loved it

Comment is about BlueGirlPoetry (poet profile)

Original item by BlueGirlPoetry

YES!! D

Comment is about unemployable (blog)

Original item by nunya

Thanks John Yea it's a load of crap really and not a good poem at all but I have very little ego with regards to my stuff so I stuck it on anyway .. Wrote it a couple of years ago in about 30 seconds... It's my work so here it is

Comment is about You (blog)

Original item by Richard Alfred

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypS9xkI-788

Comment is about unemployable (blog)

Original item by nunya

Hi Richard
I enjoyed this....a slight change in style for you but still bearing the hallmarks of your original way of approaching and expressing yourself.
Nice one mate.

Comment is about You (blog)

Original item by Richard Alfred

Hello Brian, Yes all around. I crave good constructive criticism. Here or on my web page. To me, it doesn't matter. I don't have initials at the end of my name and not worldly. I say what is on my mind in simple wording in my poetry; I hope it reflects this. I don't like poems that hard to read, difficult to understand and has no flow. I am not so thin skin I will become a puddle of wet mush. But if someone or anyone likes or dislikes, then tell me why. I expect no one will be cruel just to be a mean.

Comment is about On A Wing and A Prayer (blog)

Original item by Belinda Sue Kiser

Please come on Ray don't feel so
Don't feel so sadly-so
We all know tiredly don't exist
We're not against you, foe

Your comment was constructive
And what you said was right
We need you just to enter fun
When fun it enters site.......

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

Jennifer,

Thank you for your comment. It is much appreciated.
Keith

Comment is about There is only one (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Hi Devon. I hope it won't change your feelings about the line, but I had to change it. I originally considered "spoiled" to be the better choice, but chose to go with "expired" instead. Semantics can be such nasty little bullies when overly weighed in creative writing ;

Dictators--who needs 'em?

Hello David. This all sort of spiralled out from a single point--I didn't have any expectations about where I was headed other than Miami. That said, many ideas similar to those you mention colored my thoughts as I wrote. But, even now, there are too many to put down on paper--I hope that if or when I reread this in the future, I won't forget to revisit them in my memory.

To briefly go down another path...

Over the years, I've had the opportunity to work with, however briefly, many mixed groups having strong contingents of various cultures, ethnicities, and backgrounds. I have always come away from each of these experiences with a feeling of having a greater fortune at their close than when they began. These many different people are like jewels to me, unique and invaluable, and I am made all the more rich for their presence in my life.

Thanks, Ray. I'll admit that the only prior reference I had to Graham Greene was the role his short story, "The Destructors", played in DONNIE DARKO. But, I've recently found a bookstore with a good selection of English-print books through whom I hope to gain access to some much desired hard copy.

Thanks, all, for reading.

Rachel

Comment is about unemployable (blog)

Original item by nunya

Hi Jennifer. Dueto the defence shown of tiredly in your lovely poem and the sneering defence of it I have now removed my comment which I had misguidedly thought was constructive. Others know better or wish to pretend to. I rest my case. .. sadly I took a chance which was not appreciated .

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

Yep, got bogged down with this one. I did pick up on the dead/head rhyming in stanzas one and two though.

Disregard him. He don't know when to be serious....

Comment is about A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Out of the frying pan into the mire.

Comment is about A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I preferred your documentary on the frypan. Sizzle sizzle.....

Comment is about A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I must congratulate you Ray in your use of rhyme here .(serious comment)

A chainsaw on max next to the mic will do the trick ?

Comment is about ONE OF THE NOISY BOYS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Thanks Brian.
Put it down to an oldie's regret
For what many these days just don't get!
(well. not materially speaking).
To those who took the trouble to "like" this...more thanks are due.

Comment is about A LOOK AT LIFE (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Tiredly's not a word?
'Tis in my latest dic
As is all those we use now
Like gonna open mic

I looked up biggo Rose
Thumbs up, you can use this (also littley)
And 'em 'em, bend 'em, break 'em Fish
And shit Don! also shish

Hey Rose and Fish we could produce
A special WOLers dic
Evolving WOLer lingo thus
Yep, biggo's my first pick

I'm sorry Jen got sidetracked here
Blame it all on Ray
Your memory superbly writ
Brought out from where it lay........

(yep? tick. thingo? tick - rhymes with Rose's biggo, near nuf. Hey? it says nuf's a new-age word......

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

"Fodder"
is food for thought!

Comment is about Don Matthews (poet profile)

Original item by Don Matthews

Can I order one 'Drill-n-Fill'?. Can send one of my carrier pigeons for it......

Comment is about THE FISH PAN (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

"Drill and Fill - The Complete Frying Pan Service"
You're onto something, Kev.

Comment is about THE FISH PAN (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks Trevor glad you liked it.
Incidentally And is probably my favourite poem

Comment is about Pondweeds (blog)

Original item by Richard Alfred

I wish you well on your haibun journey Fish. If you look on my blog pages there are other styles too, all explained.

regards,

Graham

Comment is about New Buds (blog)

Original item by afishamongmany

Thanks muchly to all who have read and liked. ><>

Comment is about In the Red (blog)

Original item by afishamongmany

Oh no Ray no! If tiredly wasn't a word before it certainly is now? Take 'em, bend 'em, break 'em, remake 'em. Main thing is, what we paint with 'em. ? ><>

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

And a well done Haibun at that.

Comment is about New Buds (blog)

Original item by afishamongmany

Ray if the clip is an mp3 file you should be able to just drag and drop it into audio upload slot ><>

Comment is about ONE OF THE NOISY BOYS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Rather a sullen lonesome guy, a solitary non believer who found salvation in love. A tumultuous man who found his zen at the last place he expected! And at the moment he did that inner turmoil calmed. (A bit!)
He's an actual person too! Went to his wedding just the other day!
Thanks fish ?
Mae

Comment is about Everything- An Etheree (blog)

Original item by Mae Foreman

Adam Rappin'owitz - Great stuff ><>

Comment is about Folks Want (blog)

Original item by Adam Rabinowitz

liked and loved biggo fashion!







Rose ?

Comment is about On a London bus (blog)

Original item by Jennifer Malden

Well done Lisa - a moment captured like a butterfly in cupped hands. Next stop Madam Tussaud's? ? ><>

Comment is about 'Happy Tuesday' by Lisa C Bassignani is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Mae - The Etheree is a non rhyming form. Well done a good read. Each verse also stands alone so you can claim to have written 6 Etherees.
Think he was a glass half empty sort of Hermit? ?
><>

Comment is about Everything- An Etheree (blog)

Original item by Mae Foreman

This was triggered by seeing Grahame Sherwood's Haibun a few days back. This was a type of poetry I knew nothing about and am very grateful for the pointer. This combining of prose and poetry (prosimetric - new word for me) is intriguing and I'm quite exited about it, bit like a boy getting a first tryout with a new toy ? ><>

Comment is about New Buds (blog)

Original item by afishamongmany

This sounds like Keith from up the road...you're not really him are you Ray?

Great stuff BTW.

Comment is about ONE OF THE NOISY BOYS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Congratulations on POTW.

Comment is about 'Happy Tuesday' by Lisa C Bassignani is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I tried to upload an audio clip with this to no avail. Any ideas please?

Comment is about ONE OF THE NOISY BOYS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

What a coincidence John. I've just invented a plug for filling holes in frying pans. I think that we could go into business.

Comment is about THE FISH PAN (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I don't think I need any more, Don. I've got a dozen for sale.

Comment is about THE FISH PAN (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks all your likers: Graham David Jennifer Jon Heart of Lead and Devon - nice to know people are reading my stuff.

And thanks Don for expressing that and Josie I guess it is an entreaty of sorts. We all need to look on the bright side.

Ray

Comment is about SIMPLE MINDS (blog)

Original item by ray pool