Aye, that last line makes it.

Comment is about To walk among ruins (blog)

Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond

Thank you Stu!

Comment is about To walk among ruins (blog)

Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond

Stu - I tend to agree with David on the subject of true grief, and I favour a more discreet, contemplative approach. However, some acts of unity can give voice to those most impacted, but usually too reserved to express their grief. I like your piece as it opens up perspective on recent events. The mass mourning over sudden or shocking deaths is not a new phenomena, but I seem to think that it is fuelled these days by media and social networks. Keep poking the conscience mate!
Rob

Comment is about my pain and sadness is more sad and painful than yours (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

I see Tony joined WOL in November 2008!

Comment is about Tony Walsh reads 'This is The Place' at Ariana Grande concert for Manchester bombing victims (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Having been touched by familial bereavement quite recently, the way in which grief is processed is a really interesting subject to fathom.

The difference between sudden death and anticipated death and how differently we approach them both albeit the outcome is the same.

A thinker's piece I think!

Comment is about my pain and sadness is more sad and painful than yours (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

great last verse ray, the image of the red carpet as a river of blood sticks with you

Comment is about MEET THE RUSSIANS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Ray, sorry to be late on parade for acknowledging this POTW. As a long standing (often kneeling or bent double) Tottenham Hotspur supporter since I was 9 years old the irony of your piece certainly isn't lost on me!

The last stanza is brilliant!

all the best, and who knows, there's always next season.

Graham

Comment is about 'Villa Nil' by Ray M is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

excellent. pitch black humour and savage wordplay.

Comment is about None of You Truly Know (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

very nice piece with an excellent last line

Comment is about To walk among ruins (blog)

Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond

An excellent draft of what can be an excellent poem. I loved it a first, but then got lost along the way I'm afraid. My longer poems are like this one at first. Leave it for a while, then look at it again and prune (gently) so that what you are trying to say is clearer.

I don't sometimes realise what a poem of mine is saying until I've read it again a while later.

Comment is about Power (blog)

Original item by Emily Wolf

Kim, Thank you for your kind comment on my Poem Waves. I appreciate this. Keith

Comment is about Kim Whysall-Hammond (poet profile)

Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond

"a rhythm of exorcism as they cleanse the sand" - great phrasing.

A lovely poem.

Comment is about Waves (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Ray, as these thoughts do trickle through my mind, so does the hand of your pen describe. A good poem which should make some sit up to certain realities. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about MEET THE RUSSIANS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Makund, I wish you every success in your endeavours. This is a good site with many who will encourage and help you along the way. Keith

Comment is about Mukund Iyer (poet profile)

Original item by Mukund Iyer

Hahahaha, glad you enjoyed it Cynthia.
I wouldn't have thought that someone like you would be taken in by mushy meanderings!

Have a lovely, lovely weekend you.
Raj

P.S. I was so love struck that I did not notice that I had written the word 'speak' wrong.

Comment is about Are you out there? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Hi David. Been a bit tied up with strenuous work ,mate.! Thanks for your thoughts - refreshingly Room 101 is not far away. You really are a dose of salts in many ways and a valuable ally in the fight for common sense, and I don't mean common as in the widespread meaning of the word.
I think we're on the same hymn sheet, as I meant to condemn the futility of bombers' actions.

All the very best, Ray.

Comment is about HELL AS PARADISE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I'm afraid they've brought her back now, Kevin. But thanks for the appreciation.

Comment is about The 'Ostage Situation (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I endorse everything that's been said, Ian. Difficult to attempt but perfect touch.

Comment is about This Flower (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Very funny. I'd give it a couple more weeks, see what the offer is then.


Cheers Kevin

Comment is about The 'Ostage Situation (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

You are making very fundamental observations here Tom and uniquely personal too. Losing someone close in a way gives us a perspective I believe though it is like a tearing away at least for a time. I agree with David entirely. He too makes strong points clear - the opening of lines of communication is like all technology a mixed blessing, falling as it does on choices which most are unwilling or unable to make with due consideration.

Ray

Comment is about Best Endeavours (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

I like this a lot Tommy. It has a sad lyrical quality that can't fail to stir the emotions. Brings back some quite negative feelings of my own from the jealous past. I feel as though she is soaking up praise somehow.

Nice. Ray

Comment is about As if to care (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

beautiful words mate ?

Comment is about This Flower (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Hopefully, good will overcome the minority tarring the name of a peaceful religion, beggars belief, well said ?

Comment is about Cry Muhammad Cry (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

Thanks Tom, much appreciated ?

Comment is about #RoomsForManchester (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

I hollered with delight. I KNEW you were putting me on!

Comment is about Are you out there? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Well said Jeff - Give and you shall receive ?

Comment is about #RoomsForManchester (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Excellent article. I remember learning the Binary number system of '0 and 1' at summer courses, and early evening classes after work. I've forgotten everything; I'm a total novice again.

But I got fired from a Trading Firm (big money and major international contacts) because I knew too much at the time, and didn't have the good sense to disguise it.

Comment is about First Bytes in Computing (blog)

Original item by Peter Roe

Excellent point, succinctly made.

Comment is about BOMBING GOD (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Francine, how wonderful to have you back. I have thought about you lots these past years.

And seeing Cate's and Izzy's names under my fingers is terrific.

Comment is about Francine (poet profile)

Original item by Francine

Beautifully written, and as FMF says eloquently, 'delicately handled'.

Comment is about This Flower (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Yep, no mincing words on this one - very direct and to the point!

Comment is about unmartyred (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

This is beautifully written, Ian, and perfect in every way. ?

Comment is about This Flower (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Very interesting as well as informative. Much has moved on
- with stuff getting smaller and smaller, but the fascination
for these life-changing processes is readily understood...
even if I like to think there's a human "back-up" to take
over when things go awry with these sometimes wayward
creations. And on that topic, I still recall the times when
urgent checks were needed in my old line of work, only
to be told "the computer's down"...and wished heartily
that the original "person on the job" was still around to
step in, fingers flicking knowledgeably through card
systems. One thing I am sure of: nothing's perfect.

Comment is about First Bytes in Computing (blog)

Original item by Peter Roe

Delicately handled, Ian. Well done.

Comment is about This Flower (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Thanks for your kind comments on 'The Mayfly Dance' mate - I'm pleased you liked it - not mu usual stuff, I tend not to go in for that 'love poetry' thang

Ian

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks for you kind comments on 'The Mayfly Dance' Sonia - I'm really pleased that you liked it.
Ian

Comment is about Sonia Maria (poet profile)

Original item by Sonia Maria

Mr Ken I find myself in anibreated almost slumber when I seem to have come across this number. For I wish of will and I wish for lack of distain but the words you right hardly speek of pain. Loss or controle is hardly what we obtain but when we speek of the Lord he hardly obstains.?

Comment is about S1220048.JPG (photo)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

Thanks Harry. Much appreciated.

Is that the strange old man who persuades us to keep turning our cheeks, while slapping each other?

Only wish I could see things from his perspective.

It's a funny old world, either rib tickling or rib cracking.

Comment is about IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ? (blog)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

Good morning, you invited me to a chat room but I was a little late in responding which I apologise for. Perhaps later. Keith

Comment is about My child... (blog)

Original item by Dharmambal Iyer

beautiful piece Eva.



Rose x

Comment is about One Love (blog)

Original item by Eva Elizabeth

same from me too Louis with love.


Rose x

Comment is about From a Canadian friend (blog)

Original item by Louis Audet

beautiful writing Tommy - absolutely adore the sunsets verse. Thanks for posting. Those five lines will get repeated in my head many times today.
Col

Comment is about As if to care (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

thank you Louis

Comment is about From a Canadian friend (blog)

Original item by Louis Audet

Ta Raj for the advice re 'my participation..etc.I'll work on it and get back to you.

Cheers dude!


Rose

Comment is about Chakraj (poet profile)

Original item by Chakraj

I like this Emily despite finding it somewhat convoluted - in places the flow gets broken with missing or accidentally added words? - 'Put in my a new city' - 'The dust particles of life Pompeii the old way'. I'm not sure how to read them. But there are some excellent lines here also - 'Contemplating poems that seem handed down from the sky' and 'Carbon capture technology to prevent idea exhaust'.

I think this would be an excellent poem to take along to a writing workshop to discuss, analyse and edit down to something a little more concise. I hope that little bit of critique helps and doesn't sound too critical. I don't want to scare you away since you've only just joined Write Out Loud. Welcome btw. Your bio is intriguing - 'Investment banker type masquerading as a hippie'. Sounds like a rich source for poetic inspiration?

There are a lot of very good and varied writers here on WoL so if you have the time and inclination then you have found a valuable resource for learning and improvement. Just take a look at the daily blog posts to get an idea of what's happening here.

Good luck and best wishes,
Colin

Comment is about Power (blog)

Original item by Emily Wolf

Wonderful and powerful Emily.
A time for healing, forgiveness, reformation and renewal. All encapsulated in this topical piece.

Stay blessed.
Raj

Comment is about Power (blog)

Original item by Emily Wolf

Sara Hirsch Wins Over Write Angle audience again!

On stage, Sara's as natural and confident as if she was born there. Words pour out; her voice and eyes carrying them as if she's speaking just to you Herpoetry varies and runs a fine line between being totally hilarious and deeply poignant. She's highly entertaining and animated and has the unique ability to switch the atmosphere in the room to suit each specific poem. Her work is sharply observant, and her storytelling, fluent and accessible. 'With words, Sara says, ''..., you can bend truths, change minds, you can play with words...but your silence….your silence is your secret weapon. Your silence can speak of all the reasons why you can't. Your silence arrests me. Holds me hostage. To your silence, I am handcuffed….'

In her work on 'Feminism and Architecture', the men are building while looking at the women looking at them. The women still have to look like women. Men can wear anything – T shirts, whatever, but if women wear the same, they have to be grateful if they get home safely. Sara speaks of wanting to build pools on every street corner. No lines - only one massive one in which there's no judgment, no racing, just fun. She's always grateful for the edge – 'I need to know my limits... Beauty is the point where air meets the space. She then explains why people should be designed differently.

Her poem, 'How to be Better' makes you laugh while somehow feeling guilty. 'You don't listen to podcasts? You should listen to podcasts. You can download them to your smartphone. How much storage do you have on your smartphone….Do you read articles? You should read articles..On your smarphone, or your tabet. Do you have a tablet? Buy a tablet. One with storage..Do you write every day? You should, in your notebook or on your laptop..' and on and on. (Is it your mother? brother? father?) Sara puts together all the 'shoulds' – till you're 6 inches tall!

She then tells of her adoration for her father. How, each November, she pulls his jumper out of the drawer and wears it through the month...remembering him.
'What does it feel like to be loved? It's a fairy tale city. I don't think I can answer that', she says. 'Thirty-six hours in total with a break in the middle. How long did it take to fall in love?' 'If I had to, I would probably say Twice times half its length'. Her language so accessible yet simple words put in such a way, they produce enough energy to blow up the room! On 'Hair dye and Dementia'- 'Last week my grandad called me Sonja and asked if I was a natural blonde. On visiting the sex clinic, she says, 'There is something distinctly unsettling about sitting in the waiting room at the sex clinic

What does she hope her life will be? '...I want the kind of life that by the end of it, I'm tired. Proper exhausted, like I need a cup of tea and a chocolate digestive before I can even begin to digest it. ...you know when you're in the middle of a life and then you lose your place and you have to start again at the beginning but then you end up discovering this massive thing you missed the first time 'cause' you were distracted? ..or when you've saved your life, but then you log back in and it's all been deleted and you didn't do a backup?'

Sara's subjects seem to spring o
ut, one after the other. On falling, she says, 'My thoughts feel claustrophobic on this kind of train, my brain feels too small for that kind of email. Send help. Send pillows, please, and possibly cake. Make all this seem manageble.Mould me a mountain I can easily climb, build it out of marshmallow. Leave footholds enough to get me to the top and remind me to drop cushions in case I should fall. That is all…' As Richard Marsh says of her, 'we all stumble at some point. Sara invites you to join her in enjoying the fall'. She is pure magic! If you can't get to see her, or even if you do -we suggest you buy her book, 'Still Falling'. Sara is pure energy – on stage and page!

Meantime, our Open Mic started with Dominic Prag, first time WA performer but no 'first time performer' by any means. He takes poems, such as 'Philip Roth's 'The Explosion' and adapts them into songs. He also writes his own songs. 'Charlotte's not coming'. Dom has a good voice and style and we'd love to see and hear more of his work. Richard Hawtree then performed 'Skydiver', about a man who jumped 15,000 feet. 'I'm thinking of a soldier in the Great War'. Then, 'Climb the Steps', about Bishop Fox of Winchester, during the period of Keng Henry VII. He was an admirable man, well respected and trusted and in his latter years, having become blind, he had a staircase built to the castle with 7 steps, 7 paces between each flight – so he could easily get to the 7th set.

Barry Smith spoke of the forthcoming Chichester Festival, then read 'Earth Bound', about alternative life styles. - modern technology versus the old outstretched rod, moving it about, until it twitches and suddenly, you've found water! 'Remove your shoes. Don't disturb the kharma'. 'Seek out laylines. Empty your minds….yes, it works! 'River' followed. He then spoke of the small town in Mid-Bedfordshire where 'a little boy growing up on the river Ivel, deserted the town for something more. A bit of reminiscing...Interestingly, 'mindfulness' appeared in both Sara's and Barry's poems, and was followed by someone who runs a course on 'Mindfulness! Colin Eveleigh got up and read, 'Doing time by numbers, going from 1,2,3 4 to 5,6,7,8 and on...'gotta make every moment count...if we live to 80.

Bruce Parry then read about an unexpected holiday he had, with some friends, to Blankenburg. How breakfast at the hotel consisted of hard boiled eggs, no egg cups, and neither the British, Chinese, Bolivian, or Russians at his table knew what to do with them! He told how some of them tried smashing, some crushing with their fists, some had egg shells remaining, but then Bruce took a coffee cup, placed a napkin at the bottom, cracked the top of the egg off and slicing the rolls into toy soldiers, dipped the soldiers in the eggs and everyone else, intrigued, now did the same. A delightful tale! Hopefully these will also end up in a book!

Jilly Funnell told of her love for her daughter and their exchange of 'I'll always love you, butterfly daughter', and 'I'll always love you, butterfly mother'. Very tenderly done. Then Jilly spoke of the poet, Julia Darling, 'who looked outwards, not inward. She faced things other people don't. Julia passionately believed that poetry should be part of every modern hospital. She wrote life saving poems'. May (Speakezewerdhogge) then read of 'Life in the fast lane'. Cars crashing. 'Missing in action', flowers around a tree. Three girls, side by side. Only the tree knows how he has met his death in this senseless state. Phyllida Carr then did several sing-along songs, 'Runaway Train', 'Clementine'., on her harmonica with the audience joining in, followed by Jake's 'Poets of Petersfield, describing how some are good and some are bad. Yours truly then did a few poems including, 'Re-Birth'. 'When my waters break, will I pop out and be myself?'

The two free dinners at La Piazetta were won by a multi-time winner – who promises to use it herself instead of giving them to her family – we promise you it was not fixed! It's simply the nature of the gamble! And, the evening came to an end! This is Sara's second time round and we hope she'll join us again in 2018! This reviewer is already looking forward to hearing her again!

And, right now, we're looking forward to seeing you all next month when we have 'first timer' comic poet Cynthia Hamilton, very highly recommended by several performers including Paul Lyalls!

Hope to see as many of you as possible!
leahx

Review is about WRITE ANGLE POETRY & MUSIC +OPEN MIC on 16 May 2017 (event)

now and again

I feel the premature

sting of loss...

always we feel the sting of loss
even before we have it
we miss it

Comment is about to earth we return (blog)

Original item by nunya

Ken,
Can`t just go and leave this one.

You miserable old fibber!...Just wait till your mother gets hold of you for those first seven stanzas...that`s not so much self-pity as self flagellation.

I can`t believe you got to stanza twelve before admitting that you`d had any fun

You should have listened to the `strange old man` in the `miserable place` when you got older - he could have told you all about the rest of your stanzas..and all about what happens after that (It`s all about the judgement thing)

Your rhyming is still as bright as a new pin!

Don`t forget - keep off my bit of mould (:

Comment is about IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ? (blog)

Original item by ken eaton-dykes

Just up for a little air,

Colin and M.C...a belated thanks for your (kind) comments.

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill