Hello David, Giovanni is a tribute to many bold hard working people who made a lasting impression on many others. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about David Subacchi (poet profile)

Original item by David Subacchi

I don't know "So long Marianne" I'll look it up ?
I don't usually write this sort of thing but it came to my head and so...
Glad it ain't too bad - it does not feel like mine but I wrote it so it must be ?
Looking at it now - the bit following the first "Goodbye Anais" could stand as a very cryptic piece on its own...

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Graham - I'd be more optimistic if we had to play them yet but 7 points means they've got to lose 3 times!
Ray - I'm of an age when I can remember "lift and separate".

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thank you. This is really good. I can relate to it. Keith

Comment is about The Inevitable Fall (blog)

Original item by old shoes

Hello Paul, the Innocents is beautifully crafted and so pertinent to what is now taking place in certain parts of the world. A sad but sensitive portrayal of tragedy. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Waring

There's an element of "So long Marianne" about this Rick.

I'm never very keen on the repetitive type poems, often feeling they work just as well without, but this has a poignancy although detached.

Very good work!

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Naughty but nice John. Down this neck of the woods we say Ant and Decs instead of pecs. Highly amusing and "uplifting."

Ray

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Gawd knows where this came from - there I was having a quiet cuppa - dunno if it'll survive a culling but hey ho ?

Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Experience?

very intriguing stuff!

Good work!

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

Hope is always the last thing left in the box but the box will never be empty!

This is a good piece but I feel it loses something due to its rambling nature. It could do with cutting down by 50% to be more hard-hitting.

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Original item by iesha washington

I've never been close enough to Jazz to understand it. To me it's a foreign language. However this piece is jam-packed with the life of it, full of music.

It took me years to like coffee because I thought I ought to like it. I think Jazz might be the same.

Good work Paul!

Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Boob Bard extraordinaire!

Well JC is it on or not this year?

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks - the tanka syllable protocol helps focus the mind - I do free verse but now and again feel a bit o'discipline cannot go amiss.

The main thrust of the pome is true - we had no children issuing from our brief liaison ?

Comment is about Donegal Eden (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

I have a lot of corridors with a lot of doors, some shut (locked/unlocked) some partially open and some wide open. To wander the corridors is relatively easy but the doors?

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

hello Aishah, I enjoyed your Garden very much but it made me think how fragile our world is - there are some creeping doubts when you write 'battered' / 'worried' / 'sadness' / 'fear' and 'we have a long way to go'. Indeed we certainly do have a long way to go to return our world to our Garden of Eden rather than the Garden of Evil we are rapidly creating.

I couldn't help but think of this song by New Riders of the Purple Sage and the chorus:
WE LIVE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, YEAH
DON’T KNOW WHY WE WANT TO TEAR
THE WHOLE THING TO THE GROUND

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6zOnMpLYxE

just a small point but maybe consider changing one of the 'little' words to avoid repetition. Thanks for posting Aishah.

All the best
Colin

Comment is about The Garden (blog)

Original item by Wonderer

elP, your work sounds very demanding. I hope you manage to find yourself again at weekends. Did I read a comment by you recently about possibly re-locating soon? If so, I sincerely hope it brings some respite on the work front.

Paul

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

elP, this brings to mind coping with the memory of painful experience, almost to the point of being able to see it through new eyes. I re-read it several times imagining it could relate equally to a range of emotions, e.g. anger, grief, depression or fear. I got the sense of eventually 'growing' as a result of the experience.

Paul

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

Thanks, Zaivee.

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Perhaps you want to take a U Turn Joanna.
I like the simple, honest rendition.

Keep them coming!
Raj

Comment is about In this life or the next (blog)

Original item by Joanna S

your poem depicted well what some challenges that one would have with self and the relationships surrounding bipolarism.
forgive me for asking, but I have a hard time believing the last two lines of the poem, more so the last. Do you believe them to be true?

thanks

Old Shoes

Comment is about Manic (blog)

Original item by Samual Jake

I loved this so much! It made my day! Lol. Great job!! ?

Comment is about MANBOOBS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

this reminds me of something I was once told upon having children. as all my hobbies and self went out the window. he said " All the things you have wanted to do are not gone, they're waiting for your return".

Obviously time does change desires.

thanks
Old Shoes

Comment is about chalk one up (blog)

Original item by nunya

I love the vividness of each picture painted, and the loneliness that they instilled. I think your poem touched quite well on the emotions that may be commonly felt as the person dying, and how the common acts and objects of daily life begin to vanish, as if they're illusion and in the same time leaving to a place not yet traveled.

I enjoyed the realism of it.

thanks Old Shoes

Comment is about Anniversary (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

On days like this, I wish it were Friday! This seems much like me missing me, for, by the end of the week I'm exhausted of the "working world". The demands can be very overwhelming.

elP

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hi Cynthia (Slates) just back from a short break near Minehead and thought my latest muse might have slipped the net unnoticed but no, hawk eyed Cynthia has twigged what B and her ladyship where up to as well. Thanks for appreciating a little levity. I have changed tack a little in my most recent work as I am starting to perform open mike stuff which I am beginning to enjoy. Thanks for taking the trouble to respond. Appreciated. P. ?

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Good graciousness, Stu..the net cast above rather than below? Surely, this is the true wage of any fisherman cast to sea.

elP

Comment is about to sea at last (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Good grief, I hope, by career to afford views such as these. This is enough to start the hunger, anew.

elP

Comment is about NIGHT ERRORS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

There are so many rich images here, I like it a lot from the opening lines through to still proud of her wings.
wonderful poem
congratulations Simon

Comment is about 'Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus' by Simon Widdop is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks so much Cynthia for liking this one - it was not making any serious claims !

David, funny you should say that, Monkeys on Monday - so no falling asleep there! A good night, by the way. It was a silly ode; but sometimes you don't need heavy!

Paul, great that I have a fan for my barminess, and great that it's you. Aythangyou.

Ray

Comment is about NIGHT ERRORS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Aha! Well hello Mr Pool. You just popped up in WoL's Picture from the Galleries slot on the home page. Not reading from memory? ?

Comment is about Ray Pool (photo)

Many thanks for sharing this with Write Out Loud, David. A fascinating reminder of poetry films gone by. What did you make of the recent movie Paterson? Many found it tedious and slow, but I enjoyed it. Not about a famous poet, admittedly. And the recent BBC film featuring five poets that was at least in part an homage to Night Mail?
https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=60677

Comment is about Essay: poetry & the screen (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

I would be tempted to have the final line read...
"here but me"...to bring it full circle.

Comment is about i'm fine, not fine (blog)

Original item by Little Bit

I certainly see the Chevalier connection!
When choosing the worth between gross and net,
How could this be gross - this hymn to Colette?

Comment is about Colette (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Oh! that's a classy one Harry.
Gentile even.
It could have been a song. I'm imagining Maurice Chevalier!

V2 does it for me.

Great work!

Comment is about Colette (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Thank you Col, great praise, much appreciated. And you (and AGFOAK) are absolutely right about the noodle effect.

I'm so pleased you came back for a second helping but hope you've still got..wait for it...space for dessert. Sorry, couldn't resist ?

Paul

Comment is about Spaghettification (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hello Samual, I have read your poem ´Death´and your biography. You possess immense talent, honesty and skill. At the end of your biography you write, ´its in the writng´. It most certainly is. In the poem ´Death´the line ´Death whispers in my ear, come you will be safer with me´. This shows an insight quite incredible for there are many who could not express this. Write more as you are already on the road to be a really good poet and writer. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about Samual Jake (poet profile)

Original item by Samual Jake

A sheer pleasure to read and reread.

Comment is about 'Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus' by Simon Widdop is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thank you, to you all. Private notes most gratefully received, and I shall study them carefully.

Comment is about Girl in a Lake (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Good work Tommy.
A beautifully sculptured and tastefully delivered theme.
Subtly sexual. you have also proved that "less is more".

Raj

Comment is about Sin (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Great story, and a great setting. It's always hard to leave Donegal.

Comment is about Donegal Eden (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Hello Gary, Thank you for the poem ¨Street View ¨. Your thoughts and observations say a good deal about your insights into everyday life. I particularly enjoyed the line ´Sadness sponging through his coat like a freezing fog´. Please post more and thanks again. Keith

Comment is about Gary Smillie (poet profile)

Original item by Gary Smillie

Thankyou Cynthia

Much appreciated

Ken

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I can definitely relate to this LB and agree wholeheartedly with Andy's 'fine' comment.

Your poetry is always well presented on the page which I like a great deal especially this 3,3,4,3,3 line structure.

Thanks for posting.
Colin

Comment is about i'm fine, not fine (blog)

Original item by Little Bit

Fine is such a misused word. I say it all the time when asked how i am, often to deflect further questioning. I get the feeling that's how you're using it here.

There are several words i think you could drop to make the poem even more terse.

Hope all's well with you and yours.

Keep 'em coming.

Comment is about i'm fine, not fine (blog)

Original item by Little Bit

I very much like the idea, the descriptions and ethereal mood. But I it still needs a little work to clarify those images and the intent of the writer.
Please remember this short critique is offered with the best of intentions. So:
Personally, I find the use of 'bold' typeface intimidating, which distracts from the (I believe) intended mood, also the long lines which seem to break quite naturally (mostly in the middle) into two.
My suggestions for you to consider, or not:
The first three words 'over somnolent eyes' seems superfluous, I think the poem starts with 'The full moon...'
Likewise 'swan path', 'where' etc.
If you like, I'm very happy to send an edited version privately.
?

Comment is about Girl in a Lake (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Yes, I might remove the 'cup'. It's sort of an orphan from the previous version which is also on this site (link below). Like many of my poems, it's never 'finished'. I return from time to time and tinker with them. And I guess my mood at the time has an effect on that.

https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=64613

Thanks for reading, and for your input.

Comment is about Cold Coffee (Reworked) (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

I really like this, but find it quite difficult to define why. It is quite sensuous, with (for me) hints of an almost 'stream of consciousness' feel to it, and yet some wonderful imagery within it.

Thanks for sharing this.

Comment is about Girl in a Lake (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks so much Col, I am incredibly flattered by your kind praise. The obvious answer to your comment about doctors absorbing stuff without being too affected is training and access to appropriate peer supervision.

C?L, I warmly welcome you back after your sojourn. I'm sure it's not just me who has you missed you.

Paul

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Alright. Maybe I should explain something before the men in white coats show up at my door with a stretcher...

Some years ago, I spent more time than I care to tell picking apart the Windows OS, finding security holes. Out of curiosity, I read white papers and just about anything on the internet I could find about computer security and ended up, eventually, going back to school to get a Computer Science degree.

Anyway, in case you haven't guessed thus far, this is supposed to be about any of the myriad ways your privacy can be invaded via this complicated little piece of machinery, and how it can feel about as dirty as having your home pilfered by a stranger.

Maybe I should stop there before I begin to air anymore of my delightful fantasies about how best to put a snoop out of commission...

Thanks to each of you for braving a comment. I had a little fun writing this and hope it was a little fun to read.

elP

Comment is about operation black sight (blog)

Original item by nunya

everything's pretty much been said so I will just add 'excellent' - feels like there has been a great mental storing up of case notes over the years and now you have found a meaningful way to express some of those thoughts through very good and intelligent poetry.

I often wonder how doctors are able to absorb so much without being so affected. It doesn't work that way with me. I absorb and absorb and absorb and that's not always a good thing. Cheers Paul.

Col

Comment is about Days Like This (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring