I hope you don't mind, Rick, I've mentioned you on my blog: https://francesmacaulayforde.wordpress.com/2017/04/03/village-scene-lincolnshire-write-out-loud/
and added you to my Poetic People Pinterest Board: https://au.pinterest.com/FrancesMacForde/writing-poetic-people/?eq=poetic&etslf=7807

?

Comment is about Rick Gammon (poet profile)

Original item by Rick Gammon

From a small glimpse to the huge moment of death, effortlessly negotiated on a bus.
A devoted route, no chance of getting off, the inevitable loss of village and dad cannot be denied.
I still miss my dad after 34 years.
A deceptively clever poem. Thank you.

Comment is about "Village Scene, Lincolnshire" (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

G'day Rick, I loved your poem 'To Maria' today - and this one; 'Tea with Anushka'.
May I cheat and echo Cynthia's comments about value, structure, style etc. I couldn't have said it better.
The ability to make the reader feel you are speaking only to them, with a considered economy of words, placed just so... is a gift.
Now I need to read all of your poems posted on the blog...

Comment is about Rick Gammon (poet profile)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Lovely. I think there's a future for Maria and Rick, now you've both admitted in deed...

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

a really excellent choice this. very good imagery and style throughout. very much enjoyed repeat readings.

edit - tom waits and bukowski as well. a man of fine taste!

Comment is about 'Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus' by Simon Widdop is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

thanks all for your kind words

harry, i take your constructive criticism very seriously as i have always enjoyed your work and would say that, since i have been on here, you have been one of a handful of poets whose ideas and editing advice i really respect. i will look at this again with fresh eyes!

cynthia - i wish i had a more interesting, studious comment to give you but the truth is this tumbled out. the style is very much due to me simply reeling off the words in my head and them getting almost no edits between heart, brain and page. i was simply an onlooker to this womans terrible grief and any repetition, delays and formatting were simply how i spoke it to myself.

I am going to read this piece at Sale because I feel it will work well so I hope I can do it the justice I feel it deserves

Thanks again all, I dont think I have to tell you how much I appreciate all your words and thoughts.

Comment is about grief in b-flat (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

hi Keith, thanks for comment on Sylvie. I was in two minds about posting it, as it seemed unpolished.
I'm not doing it at my next open mic, but maybe the one after. I'd like to hear it myself, done by someone who can deliver it better than I can. i'm still a bit timid as yet, and I think it needs someone who is more confident.

cheers Kevin

Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)

Original item by keith jeffries

Just plain delightful, and heart-warming, with a build up of great poetic power. Much enjoyed.

Comment is about Everyone knew but me (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

It's quite a pithy little poem.

Comment is about Disillusion (blog)

Original item by MyDystopiA

Just plain delightful. And elegantly constructed.

Comment is about To Maria (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

This is so different, such a 'new' type of work.

Are you simply exploring literary types?

Or your own vast mind that wants to branch out into unexplored territory? You have such power, like a generator gone into overdrive. Or a mountain about to erupt.

Or the need to absorb, and perhaps expel, the griefs of the world that besiege us daily through our relentless communication channels?

Comment is about grief in b-flat (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

NOW THAT WAS DOPE!!! I have a fetish for well placed words and imagery and this poem has left me satisfied and wanting, all at the same time! Good job! Original expression and a new take on a fact of life. Hopeful and secure at the end. Wonderful! Well done!

Comment is about Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus (blog)

Original item by Simon Widdop

Kevin, Thank you. I live in Spain. The TV programme Benidorm is spot on. Keith

Comment is about Holiday Makers (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Puts me in mind of the song "me and Mrs. Jones"
A lovely piece of writing. It seems that, you think that you're cheating on the art itself and not just your partners.

Cheers Kevin

Comment is about The Art of Cheating (blog)

Original item by Wonderer

I must say Toby your poem gripped me. An honest catharsis beautifully expressed. There is a sequel to this lurking in the inner recesses if your mind. Perhaps?

Welcome to the WOL family.

Raj

Comment is about Bipolar (blog)

Original item by Toby Love

well observed. brits abroad, eh. we're a funny bunch.

kevin

Comment is about Holiday Makers (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

There definitely could be more added, I tried to come at this poem from one side, but bipolar disorder is multifaceted so I understand what you mean. Thank you for the comment

Comment is about Bipolar (blog)

Original item by Toby Love

Thanks Paul, happy motoring! On a serious note, I just wonder how many old crocs are running on too much medication , some to cancel out side effects . Lordy spare me..

Ray

Comment is about IN AT THE DEEP END (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hi Toby this is a very good and brave poem, I can't help feeling that should be more. Or maybe that's just me, please feel free to ignore my comment. But either way I love the poem.

Comment is about Bipolar (blog)

Original item by Toby Love

yeah absolutely Harry, the recovery is just taking me a bit longer than I anticipated. Must be more patient. My father always told me I was fidget arse!

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Thanks to each and every one of you for your lovely comments.

I'm afraid I'm no physicist so don't ask me any Hawking-level questions ?. If I thought about this stuff too long I would have (like Neil in 'The Young Ones') a "negative reality inversion" ?

David, I heard that aliens prefer mashed potato (Smash) and chocolate bars like Milky Way, Mars Bar or Galaxy.

Thanks to you all, you lovely people.

Paul

edit: elP, sorry almost forgot to say how much I ached with laughter at the Patton Oswalt link. I've since watched several other of his YouTube clips which are equally funny. Thank you very much.

Comment is about Spaghettification (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hi Stu,

what screams out from this is the raw intensity of being tortured by grief, and the endless ruminations it might bring and endless questions we ask but can't find answers for. It reminds me of post-traumatic stress.

Very powerful and moving writing.

Paul

Comment is about grief in b-flat (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

My doc tells me I need a full service and MOT. I think my engine is showing too much wear, I've started to rattle but, strangely, exhaust still works fine ?

Nice one Ray.

Paul

Comment is about IN AT THE DEEP END (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Bless you matey. Pure imagination this one. If it was real I probably wouldn't have written it!

Cheers David.

Comment is about IN AT THE DEEP END (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hi David! Glad you enjoyed the puzzle in the piece :)
Thank you for your feedback!

Comment is about Dears and Pleasants (blog)

Original item by rseed

A very fine piece of work Harry that carries us impossibly on to a wonderful conclusion with the mind corkscrewing us on . Fabulous stuff.

Ray

Comment is about Everyone knew but me (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

A balancing act of a poem between hell and high water Rick,
You know I am sucker for your stuff - i'd like to meet you on a dark night. We could meet at the junction of imagination and realism in dark cloaks with wonderful linings.

Ray

Comment is about Twister (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Very good. Almost a rap. I agree with Laura and Graham. It needs to be performed.

Cheers Kevin

Comment is about 2 SCOOPS OF BRAIN. (blog)

Original item by Alexandra K. Parapadakis

If it's true that Putin's Russia was busy trying to get Trump
elected, it begs the question why? Is this the ultimate
in placing power in carefully chosen and supported hands
in a game that goes back a while, with other hands
played and lost, and debts owing?
I'm sure John Le Carre would write a best seller using that
premise!

Comment is about "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thank you all so much ?

Comment is about 2 SCOOPS OF BRAIN. (blog)

Original item by Alexandra K. Parapadakis

Thanks Graham and Stu for your kind comments.

It was written when I belatedly found out that a girl I had been hopelessly in love with was actually home.

Sadly, she still wouldn`t have anything whatsoever to do with me...But what the hell!...I wouldn`t have missed the experience for all the world!

Comment is about Everyone knew but me (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Thanks Harry for your views - you have given me fresh hope even in stagnation; i'm not quite up to salvation.
In the words of the comic: "it seems like only yesterday we got married; I wish it was tomorrow, i'd cancel it."

Ray

Comment is about MARRIAGE VOWS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I enjoyed the song very much

Comment is about Rewritten (blog)

Original item by Maria Renea

A fitting tribute to a great poet, an individualist who forged his own poetic path, and never entered a slam (I made the last bit up, he may have done for all I know).

Comment is about Roy Fisher, modernist poet with a love of jazz, dies aged 86 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hello Harry, Thank you for your comment. It is something I shall bear in mind. Keith

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Well, Harry they are mine - the quotes are there to give the sense of the words being spoken to the character by the duplicitous smooth tongued vipers etc who seduced him.
I fell for the crazy words of a seducer - hook line and sinker - and she oozed that kinda thing. It was sweet until the after-taste ?
She was so unrealistic but I was swept away - hence the impossibilities inherent in those quotes.
I'm not sure when/if stuff like that will pop up again - I often write on 'auto-pilot' then edit away - as I've intimated, I'm no fan of the poem; it made it into me book - just - but I dunno, I'm not happy with it.
Thanks for the positive comment though ?

Comment is about Twister (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Quite right, Harry.
But quite embarrassing for Trump to know that he owes his position as POTUS to the Russians, either through hacking, fake news or blackmail.

Comment is about "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Forgive me, Maria..I hope you don't hate this, but it came to mind immediately upon reading this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_gL27_uIe8

..for the struggle of a woman within a masculine world seems often unfeminine...

elP

Comment is about Rewritten (blog)

Original item by Maria Renea

I do like it, but it also seems to be a bit out of a 'how to write a great poem' textbook. Seems too cobbled together to be treated as a worthy winner of a national competition.

Comment is about Stephen Sexton wins £5,000 National Poetry Competition (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

i'm addressing everyone, including myself. ? it's very much a love-hate thing with the gold stars. i mean the whole reason that I write and create (and I think most people do) is to relate to other people, and you want to know if it struck a chord with someone. but it's easy to get too wrapped up in it and then it loses its goodness. always love hearing from you guys--thanks for reading! LB

Comment is about gold stars (blog)

Original item by Little Bit

Martin,
Ah, recovery!...and equilibrium (and prayer)

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Ray,
There are worse things than being a solid, well set in the soil cabbage.

(a fly-blown, moth-eaten, blown about, limp lettuce-leaf for
instance...Face up to it man...marry the woman! ?)

Comment is about MARRIAGE VOWS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Best wishes with both yourself and book...Keep us informed

(That`s what I call dedication!)

Comment is about My new poetry collection 'Undaunted' is published on April 6th (blog)

Original item by Attila the Stockbroker

John,
I find it impossible to believe that the intelligence services of all countries are not covertly trying to hack each other`s e-mail (otherwise they wouldn`t be `minding their shops`)

Comment is about "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

You know, I just had the funny idea from Suki's comment that maybe our universe is in the midst of re-expanding from just such an occurrence of 'falling in'?

I'm almost sure any astrophysicist would say that's a daft idea, but, that's the beauty of fiction and poetic license--we don't have to write the thesis or make the calculations.

elP

I hope you find the following clip as funny as I do..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTaylAABdZk

**warning--adult language ;)

Comment is about Spaghettification (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Sunny,
This is like morse-code poetry. it leaves the imagination free to fill in the details

Comment is about Changing Paths (blog)

Original item by Sunny Chopra

Rick,
I see that these two stanzas below are in quotes.

If they are your own, when are we going to see some more of this stuff from you


“Let us banquet on newborn quail,

In a hot air balloon

High over Machu Picchu.”



“Let us sail a stately brigantine

In coats of alligator fur

Through mists of unicorn breath

On uncharted emerald seas.”

That`s poetic imagination man!

(the rest of it is very entertaining)

Comment is about Twister (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Well, Keith, I can't exactly speak for everyone, but the answer you seek may be in the very diversity of which you've written. After all, many seek to destroy whatever they can't control.

But, as Harry says, there are many of us who are thankful to enjoy the beauty of many, many things that are neither like us nor of us.

elP

Comment is about Our World (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Stu,
Despite several u tube `listens` I could not `get` the musical reference.

With respect.

I think that (word-wise) this might have worked better if
- after the first two stanzas - the red shoe would have been stripped of most of the (too dense?) comment and left more sparely as a lonely symbol.

I think that, then, that last stanza would have `worked` a lot more tellingly as a finish.

Your strong word-choices are overpowering the intent of your poem.

Comment is about grief in b-flat (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

For Pete`s sake keith!
Don`t let on to some of the moaners on here (The ones for whom everything is a disaster) That there might actually be a lot of good - and even comfort - on this earth! (even taking into account your last two lines)

Every single word you`ve written here is true.

(I think - even as a temporarily suffering human being - that the word I`m looking for is `thanks`)

Comment is about Our World (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries