Ray, you are absolutely right. I puzzled much over 'redolent of vomit' but finally let it go, when, in fact, it was the key.

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

Hi Peter, Welcome to WOL. Hope you enjoy exploring the site. Winston

Comment is about Peter R White (poet profile)

Original item by Peter R White

Good morning Dave-dont worry at all about replies etc at all-obviously you have more important concerns-just hoping you keep well matey-thank you Dave-best regards always-Stef.

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Powerful, Ray. Many striking phrases - clues to the emotional, medical and practical difficulties in the world of people with anorexia, who sometimes don't get enough sympathy.

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

Thanks all for your comments. I have the impression that no-one has grasped that the subject is anorexic. I wrote this after reading a novel based loosely on the life of Lena Zavaroni(not my usual fare!).Maybe the title isn't helping. It was formerly called Threadbare.

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

nice use of memories here, rach... top stuff.. i grew up in the 1970's and 1980's - can relate to this a lot xx

Comment is about Biting The Bullet (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

i'm like isobel, i thought it was about children too, the ending somewhat surprised me too.. is this your style really i wonder where you like leading readers then pull the blanket out at the end??? lol

enjoyed this seriously.. x

Comment is about Biting the Bullet (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

the ending surprised me, lynn as originally i thought it was about death, but i enjoyed reading this.. x

Comment is about Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

lot going on here, Ray which i always notice in your pieces, where you leave us to work out the story for ourselves.. good technquie and while this isn't a easy read, it is a very, very good piece i think

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

the rhyming isn't obvious certainly, must admit but i loved the story in the piece.. it's a nice style to have mastered and have a gentleness that reminds me of my own past in some ways.

maybe the last two stanzas are a bit tellie, but i would love them in as it sums it all up for me..

Comment is about Kimberly (blog)

Original item by Tom

This poem contains many of your strengths, Ray. Musical lines ... "merely taste bitter;/ brittle leaves breaking / meander and flutter", even if the meaning is harsh. And in the following stanza, "Clothes which once fit her / shrug from the shoulder,/ shimmy and plummet / to a threadbare carpet / redolent of vomit", a provocative striptease ends with a disgusting denouement. You conjure up the idea of a celebrity whose days of fame are almost over, "the limelight receding", fading away to nothing.

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

Welcome Dali-have fun!

Comment is about Dali (poet profile)

Original item by Dali

Thank you Dave for reading and commenting on my latest poem
'A Time to Forgive (Biting the Bullet)'...
I wasn't sure I wanted to write it, let alone post it, but the idea and feeling for it had been swirling around in my mind for a couple of days, and so it just came to be.

I always find it interesting to read everyone's take on a theme, along with all of the varying styles. You came up with a great one too - should be lots of fun!

Sorry I missed meeting you when I was there! I had the most amazing time... I will be back : )

Francine x

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I think the problem with poetry is people being told how they should write. make it 'different' they say - and so people write how those who know better tell them to write - which makes it shit.

Comment is about 2 mins (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Laura is right - eating has been proved to be bad for you! And expensive! (Only joking - this was a fun read!!

Comment is about I Am Laura's Stomach (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Like it - good use of language and good also that it's just a visual image, no background provided...

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

I didn't notice the rhyming tbh - it didn't distract from a good read!

Comment is about Kimberly (blog)

Original item by Tom

Thanks. Great to be on board.

Comment is about Eamonn Lynskey (poet profile)

Original item by Eamonn Lynskey

Hi Eamonn, Welcome to Wol. Sorry for the delay in processing your new members profile. Hope you enjoy the site. Winston

Comment is about Eamonn Lynskey (poet profile)

Original item by Eamonn Lynskey

Hi Gary, Welcome to WOL. Enjoy London and watch that tiger! Winston.

Comment is about Gary From Leeds (poet profile)

Original item by Gary From Leeds

Thanks for that Winston

Comment is about Dali (poet profile)

Original item by Dali

I will keep an eye on your work and blogs as it seems there will be some interesting stuff to come if we judge things by your sample so far. Winston

Comment is about Dali (poet profile)

Original item by Dali

Hi Dali, Welcome to WOL. Hope you enjoy the site. Winston

Comment is about Dali (poet profile)

Original item by Dali

Hi Cynthia - I'm sending you a link to Dave's description of this month's theme and competition. He decided to take it on board this time. I must admit - I'm loving it - really look forward to logging in and seeing how different people have tackled it. I do hope we are going to get one from you. x
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=16110
If the link doesn't work - just go to Dave's latest blog.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Great Ray - absolutely!

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

Hi Thomas - very good way of rhyming in this poem - wish I could do that! I don't think you need the last two verses, just IMO. I like the rest a lot.

Comment is about Kimberly (blog)

Original item by Tom

There are so many marvellous lines in here like 'a tunnel vision of limelight receding'; 'ironical smiles merely taste bitter' etc. and etc. I got a bit sidetracked by the 'hunger' with 'the skin stretched taut', thinking it was 'food hunger', perhaps because I associate aging with slack skin. But maybe it is both types of hunger, like starving for 'the feast of youth'. IMO, you might eliminate a couple of expressions as not really advancing your dynamic idea, but rather sidetracking it with unnecessary imagery. Always with respect. It would be so great to actually talk together, with voices, eyes and hands as well as words.

Comment is about Fading Out (blog)

Will you kindly update me on 'bite the bullet' theme suggested by Dave? I'm out of touch. I did enjoy Pandora's Box so much, both to write, and to read so many diverse ideas.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

thanks for comments on biting the bullet poem.

I love the way you are able to really understand poetry so close to its source. i can only speak for the comments you give me but they always show a really slose understanding with my intended meaning.

xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Cynthia. Thank you for your lovely comment on Cartooniverse. And in answer to your question, yes I shall be at Freed Up, although I was not aware of the theme until now, so thanks for that. Kind of odd that I've recently written a poem with 'stock still superman' in it, without knowing. Guess it must be Kismet, or something.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

thanks for the invite to bards...will do best to make it for tomorrow x

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Hi Louise,

Thought I'd let you know about our Liverpool poetry night - since you are planning to do something in the city soon.

The LIVER Bards, as the sessions are now called, take place on first Tuesday of each month in the performance space at the beautiful Shipping Forecast bar, Slater St, city centre, L1 4BW, starting 8pm.

It's a straightforward open-mic with poems of humorous, philosphical, political and spiritual content especially welcome.

The first of these new-style nights is tomorrow Tue 7 Sept, starting 8pm. The postal code for the Shipping Forecast is L1 4BW.

PS Am I right in thinking there is a read thru of the Wigan material this coming Thursday in Wigan. What time and where do I turn up? x
Steve

Comment is about Louise Fazackerley (poet profile)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

Hi Isobel, I've lost your moby nnumber (if I ever had it) but I particularly want to make you aware that we have changed most things about our LIverpool poetry night - name, dates, venue, and we've dropped the monthly themes.

The LIVER Bards, as the sessions are now called,take place on first Tuesday of each month in the performance space at the very beautiful Shipping Forecast bar, Slater St, city centre, L1 4BW, starting 8pm.

It's a straightforward open-mic with poems of humorous, philosphical, political and spiritual content particularly encouraged.

The first of the new-style nights is tomorrow Tue 7 Sept, starting 8pm. The postal code for the Shipping Forecast is L1 4BW.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

There were the bangers you ate with the cream of tomato soup - why was it always cream of tomato? - and the bangers that exploded around your feet ...

Comment is about comet tails (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Rachel they sometimes make me cry to. especially when the buggers won't come out right oe I don't know where to go next! Teanka again for the recommendation. Really appreciate it.

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Thanks Isobel - to me, finding the rocket sticks was exciting not sad, as I could imagine where they'd been, right up in the sky and helping to create all the magic and excitement. Also, they had that lovely burny sulphorous smell. I seem to have described the "before" and the "after" of bonfire night. But, as is so often the case, the before and after are even more exciting than the event! As to Jumping Jacks - speaking as a parent I say "hear hear" but if I was speaking as my childhood self I'd say "what a spoilsport!!" ;-) xx

Comment is about comet tails (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thanks Isobel & Stef. My next one might be about the other side of the coin!

Comment is about camille, emily and me (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Guitar & Verse, September 2010

Comment is about Guitar & Verse, September 2010 (photo)

Oh you are naughty, but I like you...

(quoting Dick Emery there - for our younger readers - and you have to imagine a chiffon scarfed man in drag with a strong chin)

Comment is about Breathing (blog)

Original item by Isobel

You express well the imminent doom that brings about apprehensive feelings.

Comment is about Biting The Bullet (blog)

Original item by Cate

You capture the boldness - love these lines...

'a dark pull from somewhere
a fizzing warning shrivelling on a synapse line
ignored'

Comment is about Biting The Bullet (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Goood late evening Bernadette-hope alls well with you,and your weekend has been good too-hope to see you soon-best regards to you and yours-Stef-xx

Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Bloody men eh Lynn!I just hope that if I get a bottle of anything poured over me,it has to be nothing less than vintage-and I,m given the time to lie on me' back with me'gob open! night night love-Stef-xx(B-xx)

Comment is about Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi big Dave-longish time-no see-hope you are alright-and hope you are back soon-best regards-Stef

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Hi Isobel - hope you dont mind me lowering the tone (for a change) :)
A girl goes to the doctor.
Big breaths, he says.
Yeth, and I'm only thixteen she lisps.

Comment is about Breathing (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thank you dear Lynn, thank you Stefan. I am so happy to know that some people understand humor.

Comment is about I Am Laura's Stomach (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Ha ha, no, not biographical at all, just a good imagination, Isobel! Thanks very much for comment. xx

Comment is about Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Oo-er - you are a passionate woman Lynn! I have never understood anyone who could hang around any length of time waiting for the crumbs from someone else's table, so I find this interesting. It must be a lot of fun hating someone so much you could pour a bottle or glass of wine over them also - very Scarlet O'Hara!

I'm not presuming any of this to be biographical but it makes for a very interesting story! x

Comment is about Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

ps Jumping Jacks were down right dangerous, weren't they? Don't think they sell them anymore. Who the hell would want uncontrollable lit gunpowder jumping towards their kids?

Comment is about comet tails (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

This is lovely. There is nothing like the childhood expectation before bonfire night and the thrill of the danger. You tie that in neatly with the looking towards the future.

I guess the ending could be seen as a little sad - the future is here and all the explosions over - just burnt out debris left - but that could be me being overly miserable and reading too much into things. That's easily done. x

Comment is about comet tails (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove