Surely bitter and acrid are totally different. Bitter is a taste/emotion thing, whereas acrid is an aroma/sensation thing. I'm happy to read both although I'm also a strong believer in not wasting words. Welcome by the way Heather.

Comment is about Billy and the Flowers (blog)

Original item by Heather

Hi Gus - I love "Faded blue jeans that cry out for an arse" (well, I don't love THAT) it's a great line. The last verse made these men seem quite endearing somehow. But please don't do a follow up about women of a certain age - or I might have to extermintate you! ;-)

Comment is about Men Of A Certain Age (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

welcome, heather.. i really enjoyed this... lot of power in this i particular the use of the thud, thud, thud twice.. it adds a lot to the piece i feel.

good stuff - keep it coming! it certainly left me interested in wanting to read more!

Comment is about Billy and the Flowers (blog)

Original item by Heather

Yea, I Know - I was just having a bitter and twisted moment! xx
haha - don't we all ? - you sound like you're pretty well sorted to me. all the best. B xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

This is super! A vital philosophy in a nutshell. I think 'staled' avoids the connotations of 'soured', a word which would have altered the whole point.

Comment is about Forget The Forgive. (blog)

As Greg says,this is very difficult to read, but every word rings truth and power - every word. It is inspired. 'vouchsafed to only your eye' is gut-wrenching.

Comment is about Stroke (blog)

Welcome, Heather. We all had a 'first poem' and waited with bated breath. IMO means 'in my opinion'. Many people use this sign, to show that their comments are not personal.
Your poem leaves me feeling twisted, but in a very interesting way.It is a strong imaginative idea. I think some lines are really good. In my opinion (IMO), 'bitter' and 'acrid' are so similar, do you really need both to slow up the rhythmic power and dilute the force of your concept? That's likely my second reaction - the culling of unimportant words to give the poem more punch. The italics work well. 'slick' and 'thick' seem a bit contrived; either one emphasises the X of the plague. Although 'slick' denotes 'freshness' also. It is probably the word that covers the idea best. I do like this work, and look forward to more.

Comment is about Billy and the Flowers (blog)

Original item by Heather

Gus, do you need to take out the 's of 'She's tongues pearly teeth'? I knew what you wanted; it is a very good observation.

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Good morning Bernadette-hope I find you in fine fettle this beauteous morning.I,m off on a weekend break-see you soon-lots of love-Stefan-xx

Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Good morning Lynn-hope you are well-I,m off for weekend break as from today-hope you will survive without me-lol! take care-Stefan-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

The Crumid Skussle washed up on the tide with a Coniphany of gooey Glucker. The Partet was finished, the Foona-Plate drained and Fildew was forming on the Salmy Porm. It was time for Bips.

Comment is about Vocabulate Fremunctiously (article)

Thanks for commenting on the Woolies poems, Jeff. But don't worry about binge drinking and the Broken Society: that nice Mr Cameron and his friend Mr Clegg will fix all that.

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Thanks for your comments, on Something for Everyone and Carol Ann Duffy, David. Always good to hear from you. When is your new book of poems published? Any date yet?

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

This is painful to read, but it's meant to be. I like "crush of the tyre" and "clutch of the claw." The opening three words contrast harshly with the optimism of the hymn Morning Has Broken.

Comment is about Stroke (blog)

I note from your ealier poem that you don't like poet banter on your comments which is fine. I'm hoping you don't mind me offering a little critique though. I like to consider myself a performance poet at times. To me this poem could be made a lot better if you chopped out some syllables or thought of alternative ways of saying things, to make it flow. Sometimes it's just a case of making a few contractions (I would to I'd)

Take for example my slight change to the second verse:

The words I read, cut through me so cold
I dreaded to hear the truth I'd be told.

Also - how about getting rid of the repetition of MY in the third verse, replacing with THE.

With a lot of superfluous words/syllables stripped out to change the flow, I think this could be a stronger poem.

Comment is about Naomi Hefter (blog)

Original item by Naomi Hefter

God! Trust a bloke to know that! ;-)! Maybe it was 20,000 feet. As I say, I just caught the news headline the once. Poetic licence. But I did feel slightly bad turning their tragedy into a poem. Real people an all. But it touched me very much, and the poem made me want to cry when I wrote it.

Comment is about loves parachute (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

It is not nice that they died like that, but if they were lovers it is a comforting thought they were together till the end, a thoughtful poem. Incidentally and not that it matters in the scheme of things, I don't know where they were climbing as Mt Everest is only 29035 ft.
luv TC XX

Comment is about loves parachute (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hello Ann!Thank you for your comment on dandling the baby!I created the music 2 days ago (and the new on my profile) for a show I'm doing but thought they sounded rather daffy when placed with an image. Yes, the granddad does look like Hugh Gaitskel! I hadn't noticed till you mentioned it. And I absolutely love your audio piece -- it's beautiful, mesmerising, and there's something mysterious and ritualistic about it that makes it seem a tad threatening -- as in a kind of bewitching. All your work has the thrilling fizz of enchantment about it. xxxx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi again Lynn-was just tracing the singer of a song called 'tell him'-she,was is called Billie Davis-do you recall her songs? one I think you would love is'Angel of the morning' (with your Angel poems in mind)until the new day-au revoir dear Lady-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Dear Dave,
thanks for coming to the play and for your thoughtful comment-I showedit to the actors who really appreciated it as we couldn['t get the 'Echo' to review it-the preferred 'the Birthday Party'. I learnt a lot from doing the play and have got the dram bug now.Respect and thanks,
STeve

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Thanks for favourable comments on my entries, Bernadette, much appreciated. xx

Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Hi Steve long time no see it's Bernadette Herbertson here. Just to let you know I am back on form now after some personal problems led me to my long absence from cosy writers and wol. a belated thank you for your encouragement regards my creative writing.you are a top bloke ! I have submitted some work on wol and am pleased to let you know that I am getting some good comments and feedback.Hope to see you soon ..take care..bernadette x x

Comment is about Steve O'Connor (poet profile)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

Thanks Lynn for your nice comments ..glad you like.. you can call me Bernadette , Herby or whatever ! Stefan invented the herby name ,but i guess it's kind of cute in moderate use ha ha ! x x have read through some of your entries and they are very good!!! x

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi All, thanks all so much for your comments, which are very much appreciated.

Marianne, thank you for sharing how to felt about the poem - I always look to leave an imprint on the heart.

Andy, glad you liked it. To answer your question, in every stanza, the last line is made up of 3 syllables (as is the first line made up of 6, etc), which is part of the reason the last sentence is split into two lines. But it also gives the reader that extra millisecond of a pause before realising the enormity of what the lady of the piece has just lost.

Ray, many thanks for your thoughts. To answer your questions, "The accolade of our great tale..." - is not every relationship that you've devoted your heart to the greatest tale in the world? :o) In this lady's case, it was. The line is intended to give the reader the impression that these two have a real history together which has now been tossed aside. "Icy thoughts placing my bids..." - similar to placing your bets: she has just managed to get herself out of bed and her first, slightly less numb thoughts, are to do with the possible outcome(s) of her future - she has begun to place her bids on her future, because essentially, it's now "up for sale". It's okay if the reader doesn't get it straight away... or even at all. I like my poems to have some form of ambiguity so that it can be debated over - 'though, I've just sort of given this one away :o)

Cynthia - I'm glad you felt the mood of the poem was captured well and thanks for your thoughts.

I'll be to visit all of your blogs over the next few days - please bear with me, my 14 month old demands a lot of my time - rightly so!

Kind Regards,

Dianna x

Comment is about Broken Dreams (blog)

Well, I guess it has to do with Big Brother, Room 101 and that gnawing grin would be a rat's I expect, but the rest is still fairly inaccessible. I can't make out whether you really mean "tart compliments" for example. Very enjoyable, though.
Every sunrise is a bird recording, the eyelid clicking propaganda -
spoken word is suicide, and thought unthought is slander.
Loved that bit - "thought unthought" once again!

Comment is about 101 (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

I love this one, too, another fan of wildlife! xx

Comment is about START OF A NEW DAY (blog)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Lovely!

Comment is about gentle rain (blog)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

hi Cynthia... thanks for your comment on Whitehaven. your comment was on a par with my poem lol :-) Win

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks Andy for your comment on ..PERFECT DAY..I'm glad you liked it and I will consider your advise on those two lines. Yes I did go to Steves group a few times and enjoyed it .he is a real nice guy, but due to personal reasons at the time I kind of dropped out of the cozy writers and wol. but I am back now with a bang ! and enthusiastic once more and it feels good ! x Bernadette

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

It is indeed lovely, Bernadette (or is it Herby?) xx

Comment is about QUESTION AND ANSWER (blog)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Crumid - A hat, hand-made from crumpled hessian and set using animal glue.
Skussle - The general skirmish that occurrs typically after the line... "somome in this room is the murderer"
Coniphany - The cumulative 'voice' of the national conche orchestra north.
Glucker - A crossbred mallard.
Partet - An offshoot from a party (often taking place on a balcony)
Foona-Plate - Part of the home made reinforced hull defences of a makeshift boat used in the WWII D day landings rescue operation. (See little ships)
Fildew (i)- A type of mocasin worn by North American Indians(ii) - Decorative cake icing, esp for wedding cakes.
Salmy - A glazed bowl intended for olives
Porm - The scent of the female goat on heat.
Bips - (Slang) (London and southern counties) Left over items of food on public streets. "The pigeons gorged on the mornings bips" anon

Comment is about Vocabulate Fremunctiously (article)

I like the rhyming scheme and these end lines in particular:
of the emptiness you dropped me in,
bereft.
as you slept and lied your love upon my breast.
But I think a few lines let it down: the accolade of our great tale. Bit overblown?
icy thoughts placing my bids? It rhymes with kids but I'm not sure of the meaning.
Enjoyed the poem.

Comment is about Broken Dreams (blog)

Thanks Ann for your heartwarming reply.I think people like that must have no compassion and don't think about the effect that comments can have and its a case of ..kick a dog when it's down..I am so glad that my inner strength kicks in but just think of the poor soul who doesn't have that inner strength ..no I don't want to think of that as it is so sad. I send love back to you ...Bernadette x x ps. my view is people have the option to not offend so why do it,and keep an open mind don't forget to read between the lines x x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Sorry babe - what's Alma Cogan got to do with anything? Not that I've anything against her! My dad's fave! Don't remember her climbing any mountains though?

Comment is about loves parachute (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Winston - you are so right! xx

Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Absolutely!!! Re High Tide - 10.47 and other people's comments. I am starting to learn that the first step in this poetry lark is . . humility! And reading lots of other people's stuff! xxxx

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Liked this one ann. Tyne, dogger german bight ;-) Nice last line. didn't see it in its earlier form. I hope the comments herehave been useful. They really have been for me in the past when (for instance) Graham has slotted the last piece into a jigsaw of a poem that made it complete. I would like to think that once you make some contacts on here WOL is capable of this. x

Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I remember that awful comment made to you - I don't know the chap but it annoyed the crap outta me! What a horrible thing to say!! I should have had a go at him at the time but I was new too and sometimes these old hands stick together and you can feel small! I have really enjoyed your stuff and your attitude too. Lots of love! AF xx

Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Ta Win - His First Time - I was trying to think of the most gross items of female attire. So glad they appealed to you!! ;-) xx

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Ann just noticed your comment on my blog entry ..Hopeful Recovery...Thank you so much for fighting my corner for me .At the time of the entry I was going through a relationship breakdown and was very emotionally charged which reflected in my poetry. I hadn't long joined WOL.and had already expressed that I was a novice.I looked up the person concerned's profile and it spoke volumes to me regards his character this did make me feel less upset but nevertheless I didn't submit any entries soon after that as at the time of reading that comment it really stung and knocked my confidence a little.I can now happily say that I am now over that period in my life hence I decided to try again this week and I am more than pleased at the positive comments that I have received so once again thank you...Bernadette x x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Fluffy yellow mules!... hold me back! win (good fun this)

Comment is about his first time (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ta for kind comments on Loves Parachute. x

Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

This poem was born out of hearing a headline on yesterdays news - two poor souls fell to their deaths while mountaineering. Made me think, that's all. They were a man and a woman but I have no idea of their relationship.

Comment is about loves parachute (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

ah-ah! much better Herby-really is a lovely poem! ta lots-Stef-xx

Comment is about QUESTION AND ANSWER (blog)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Thank you for your very considered critique Cynthia...The tongues reference is an observation of how when she listens she rubs her tongue over her teeth in an unconcious effort to look both charming and interested...

Once again many thanks!!

Gus xx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you for your very considered critique Cynthia...The tongues reference is an observation of how when she listens she rubs her tongue over her teeth in an unconcious effort to look both charming and interested...

Once again many thanks!!

Gus xx

Comment is about Katie is a Barmaid (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hey Herby! don,t forget the heart in this lovely poem(add it on-won,t tell!)nice poem Bernadette-thank you m'dear-Stef-xx

Comment is about QUESTION AND ANSWER (blog)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

'Professional kindness' is a strong topic, coupled with 'longing' personified by the 'lone drinker' who is no fool. The repetition is very effective, to emphasize a pattern of behaviour. And the juxtapositioning of 'I' the writer, and 'I' the omniscient narrator. But, I don't get the line about 'tongues'; do you mean: 'she tongues pearly teeth'?

Comment is about Katie is a Barmaid (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Thanks Cynthia, glad you liked it.
Bernie

Comment is about She (blog)

Thanks Cynthia
Bernie

Comment is about My Heavenly Guardian (blog)