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darren thomas

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 23:40

Hi Richard - I was a policeman in Salford throughout the 1990's. It's nice to see that the city is as intimidating now as it was then!
In my time there, I was threatened with knives and just about every utensil you can think of. The favourite reception gift would be tins of beans or peas thrown from the upper floors of the tower blocks. Some would hit the police van but thankfully none hit me. I would never have lived the news headline down. 'Police Officer killed by Spaghetti Hoops'. The shame of it.

Comment is about Salford (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

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Paul F Blackburn

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 18:05

Happy to help dear boy, you're one of the family!
Seriously, I hope it goes well what with the Liverpool match and the slam being the day before. Anyway Gordon Zola and I will attempt to battle through the traffic to get there.

Comment is about Earth to Earth (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

<Deleted User> (4281)

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 04:47

Hello, Peter

I found your poem with an excellent flow. But there is a sadness in those lines.

Congratulations of your last win! ( I have read that on the front page)

GREAT JOB!!
Zuzanna

Comment is about missing (blog)

<Deleted User> (4281)

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 04:42

Richard

I see the chaos on the streets, and the madness where there are so many people, then the kid ready to do something wrong. So much reality expressed in your writing. It sounds like I was there watching the very scene at present time.

Great poem!

Zuzanna

Comment is about Salford (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

<Deleted User> (4281)

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 04:39

Richard

Your poem touched my heart. There is so much to think about reading your words in this poem. Never had to watch anyone die but I must tell you that I am very scared to see someone dying.
Your poetic mind created such reality in the write that I am feeling if I was there with you by the bed of the person dying. You have poured so much of feelings to this poem.

EXCELLENT JOB!

Zuzanna

Comment is about Do you mind if I don't watch you die? (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

<Deleted User> (4281)

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 04:21

Daniel

I am very impressed with your poems. All writes are wonderful! Keep penning on your talent shines! I need to tell you that I like the video you have done on your You Tube'

Great Job!
Zuzanna

Comment is about Daniel Hooks (poet profile)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

<Deleted User> (4281)

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 04:17

Hello Daniel,

Thank you my friend in poetry for the great comment on my "Failed Dreams"

Appreciated,
Zuzanna

Comment is about Daniel Hooks (poet profile)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

<Deleted User> (4281)

Tue 22nd Apr 2008 04:15

Congratulations to all Poets!

GREAT JOB!

Zuzanna Musial

Comment is about Write Out Loud Success In Liverpool Slam! (article)

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clarissa mckone

Mon 21st Apr 2008 13:03

HI Peter,
Its a very nice poem.

Comment is about missing (blog)

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Daniel Hooks

Mon 21st Apr 2008 10:39

Thankyou very much Zuzanna!

Comment is about All words become me (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

<Deleted User> (4597)

Mon 21st Apr 2008 08:15

Nicely done.

And thanks for you comments on mine.

Comment is about The Ghost of Me (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

<Deleted User> (4281)

Sun 20th Apr 2008 22:57

Hello, Daniel

You have great use of metamorphosis in this poem. Very nice and well expressed. It gives the reader feeling of bursting from those words that are trying to come out of your imaginative mind.

Great write - Thank you!
Zuzanna

Comment is about All words become me (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

<Deleted User> (4281)

Sun 20th Apr 2008 22:53

Hello, Melissa

Your poem has depth of thoughts. It always amazes when there is so much said in a limited amount of words. Your poem is great!

Thank you,
Zuzanna

Comment is about Clouds Over Sky (blog)

<Deleted User> (4281)

Sun 20th Apr 2008 22:49

Dear Alison

Thank you for commenting on my latest write, and the name comment!

I found your writing excellent! All the samples you have are presenting depth of your thinking and show your creative abilities. You are great Poetess. Keep up the great work!

Warm Regards,
Zuzanna

Comment is about Alison Mary Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

<Deleted User> (4281)

Sun 20th Apr 2008 22:44

Hello, Alison

I found your poem amusing, very well written with fabulous flow. Easy to follow and clear picture that can be painted out of this write. You are an excellent writer and a poet. Believe there are times in life that I was like that too.

GREAT POETRY!

Thank you,
Zuzanna

Comment is about The Ghost of Me (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

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Jane Holland

Sun 20th Apr 2008 19:43

Good to see this story up here on Write Out Loud. It's also very exciting to see that list of women editors, and I just thought of another name to add to it, which is Sophie Dunstan, editor of The Nail, an Oxford-based poetry magazine.

For those thinking of submitting work, the first issue of Horizon is due out in September, and I look forward to receiving some top quality work from poets, writers and reviewers over the next few months.

Those of you who know me will be aware that I have a strong web presence, with many active sites. However, to avoid lost submissions, please only send poems or article/review queries via the official Horizon Submissions email address on the Horizon page at Salt, which is still under construction but should be live within the next few days.

Best, Jane

Comment is about News From Salt Publishing (article)

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Alison Mary Dunn

Sun 20th Apr 2008 18:20

"in the dim light of a sleepy sun" I'm traveling with you David, traveling with you.......!
thanks for leaving an comment 2.
Ally

Comment is about David Franks: Walkabouts Verse (poet profile)

Original item by David Franks: Walkabouts Verse

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Val Cook

Sun 20th Apr 2008 18:15

This is So- So- Soooo - Good, Jeff. Welcome to our Boards.

Comment is about Punk's not Dead!! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

<Deleted User> (2736)

Sun 20th Apr 2008 17:18

Afraid a gremlin crept in in the editing: the bit about Caroline England says in my original script 'Pozzian, sfumato type pieces', a reference to the late Italian poet Antonia Pozzi and to the sfumato painting technique. What appears in the review sounds more like an Italian footballer who's gone out for a quick fag. But it was close.

Comment is about Ugly Tree Reviewed by James Hartnell (article)

Original item by Julian Jordon

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clarissa mckone

Sun 20th Apr 2008 04:59

HI Melissa,
Nice poem!

Comment is about Clouds Over Sky (blog)

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clarissa mckone

Sun 20th Apr 2008 04:58

HI Melissa,
Loved the poem!

Comment is about Taste of Love (blog)

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clarissa mckone

Sun 20th Apr 2008 04:56

HI Richard,
Loved the poem!

Comment is about I Love The Night (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

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clarissa mckone

Sun 20th Apr 2008 04:53

HI Alison,
Very nice poem.

Comment is about The Ghost of Me (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

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clarissa mckone

Sun 20th Apr 2008 04:50

HI Peter,
This is a very nice poem. take care

Comment is about my howling hollow (blog)

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David Franks

Sat 19th Apr 2008 17:20

I agree with, Pete - canny use of verse, photography/light.

Comment is about The Ghost of Me (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

Pete Crompton

Sat 19th Apr 2008 14:52

'I am autumnal to the touch'

great line.

I like the draining coldness of this poem.
The ghost white of the image adds to the howling hollow of the image you paint.

I must write an antithesis for this

Comment is about The Ghost of Me (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

Pete Crompton

Sat 19th Apr 2008 14:42

I enjoyed your two poems.I like the line about jumping off the bridges.

Also I really enjoy the sentiment of 'letting go' very clever the way you use the painted nails / paint pots idea to show the progression and ageing and the growing up.

the nails that wave goodbye, with the armour of the red gloss....but would they one day come back with tales to tell...................is there ever a true goodbye.?

great work
Look forward to more.

Comment is about Helen Shay (poet profile)

Original item by Helen Shay

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Alison Mary Dunn

Sat 19th Apr 2008 13:39

How can I follow the wonderful words of Melissa, if only to say that you've moved me deeply with the hope that springs from your beautiful poetry.
Your soul glows with possibilities. Perhaps you saw it through the curtains...

Ally x

Comment is about Crack in the Curtains (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

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Alison Mary Dunn

Sat 19th Apr 2008 13:22

Frank your poems are quite out there. I checked out your site. I'm so impressed by your very bold creations. Shadows is powerful. I agree with Darren's comments, the ending is pretty brilliant.
thanks a lot for sharing.

Ally

Comment is about Frank Burton (poet profile)

Original item by Frank Burton

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Alison Mary Dunn

Sat 19th Apr 2008 10:56

Richard, I loved you poem so much. Your words have taken me completely to those times 'quite often' when I have felt like this. It reminded me of walking home in the autumn rain at night. My bike had a puncture so all I could do was walk with it through a flooded tree lined street where countless leaves had fallen and traffic literally sped by and splashed the puddles on me.
I was in that moment and didn't give a damn. It was amazing. You're poem has all of this.

Please don't stop putting those thoughts down on that mobile!

Ally

Comment is about I Love The Night (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

darren thomas

Sat 19th Apr 2008 09:59

Hi Jeff - us Bolton lads have to stick together. Welcome to WOL and I hope that you feel that your contributions are read. They usually are, but many people don't feel that it's their place to add comments to other people's work for many different reasons.
Anybody that mentions The Stranglers in their work gets my vote, I'm a big fan and have watched them recently (back stage no less) which is one gig closer to my 50 Stranglers gigs. (44 at present).
Whatever the reason for your writing, you'll find that if you have an audience, then it should develop with the right kind of feedback.
Regarding your poem, it was a trip down memory lane for me too. I was a keen Stranglers fan back in 1975 - but didn't consider myself a punk. I hated the 'Pistols' but loved The Ruts. I can't even begin to explain why?
keep writing and posting...

Comment is about Punk's not Dead!! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

darren thomas

Sat 19th Apr 2008 09:46

Another intimate piece with an intensity that is obvious. You are asking lots of questions Melissa without touching upon how you would perhaps attempt to remedy the 'situation'. As the poem is so intimate, sometimes a critique is not taken too well and some take it as a personal attack - I hope not. I enjoy your poetry simply because it has an honesty to it that many fail to release in their work. Some poetic works have what is referred to as a 'turn' and I think that one could be used here to great effect. You ask lots of questions - why not try to answer them in the final stanza. This could reinforce your reason for questioning yourself or simply provide the answer as to just WHY you ask so many questions. (relationship breakdown of a intense love or a close family member whom you loved has died). By bringing in the reason, or at least having an inference to it can allow the reader to empathise with you that little bit more.
Your work is very, very readable.
Thanks for sharing.

Comment is about Taste of Love (blog)

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Jeff Dawson

Sat 19th Apr 2008 08:35

Hi Richard, this is marvellous!! Night is a time I like and I felt like I was there.

Thanx for comment on my poem, Punk's not Dead, even if the Queen is!! Cheers Jeff

Comment is about I Love The Night (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

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Philip Golding

Fri 18th Apr 2008 19:40

Hero's are few and far between, and perhaps one day our world leaders will make heroic choices.

Your verse has provoked much thought.

Thank you, and thank you for the compliments on my last blog.

Comment is about Clouds Over Sky (blog)

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Richard Brooks

Fri 18th Apr 2008 15:12

hope you like his poem everyone! I wrote it on my mobile while walking home from uni. Poetry should be written in second hand books with a fountain pen but all mine seem to originate on my mobile phone! lol

Comment is about I Love The Night (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

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Richard Brooks

Fri 18th Apr 2008 15:10

wicked poem! "Only the fakes survive" Johnny Rotten

Comment is about Punk's not Dead!! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Malcolm Saunders

Fri 18th Apr 2008 09:36

Thanks for that great review Dave. I had hoped to get to this and didn't make it. I really wish I had.

Comment is about Dropping the Mask (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

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Jeff Dawson

Fri 18th Apr 2008 08:58

Hi Everyone, hope you like this, comments welcome!!!

Comment is about Punk's not Dead!! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

<Deleted User> (4235)

Fri 18th Apr 2008 03:59

I love how this poem opens like a rose in bloom. Every word brings an image of running through a maze of thought with words etched within the labyrinth's walls. The eyes are windows to the soul, and your mind is a blueprint of discovery and beauty.

Comment is about Read my Mind.... (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

<Deleted User> (4235)

Fri 18th Apr 2008 03:55

My heart goes out to you, and I drink in every word spoken and written by your hand. You call me brilliant, but I am but a small star next to your crescent moon. Time is endless when we write, and dreams keep hope in the future. We never know what the next chapter brings, but if we can see a crack in its facade, maybe it we will see something good, something great.

Comment is about Crack in the Curtains (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Thu 17th Apr 2008 17:18

You have the life of the Artic hare well explained here.

Comment is about christine bousfield (poet profile)

Original item by christine bousfield

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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Thu 17th Apr 2008 17:11

I loved the imagery in the poem of the dead wasps in the windscreen and the pheasents fluttering in the breeze

Comment is about Gaia Holmes (poet profile)

Original item by Gaia Holmes

Malcolm Saunders

Thu 17th Apr 2008 13:23

Thank you Louise

I didn't know I was going to write this. It sort of just came out. It made me feel funny too.

Comment is about Only Child (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

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Paul F Blackburn

Thu 17th Apr 2008 12:29

Great review Dave!
And yes it was a good night and I though Aaron was brill.
Just a pity it's going to cost me three points and a fine for speeding - Argh!

Comment is about Dropping the Mask (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

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John Togher

Thu 17th Apr 2008 02:22

Has Darren been Tango'ed or Tenerifed?

Comment is about Darren Thomas at the Tudor House, Wigan April 2008 (photo)

<Deleted User> (4725)

Thu 17th Apr 2008 00:20

This is a very simple poem, and a very beautiful one. The subject is small, and is almost a snapshot, and the open structure allows it to be expanded. Very nice indeed.

Comment is about Letting-Go (article)

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Gemma Lees

Wed 16th Apr 2008 20:54

Hi, thanks for the kind words!

I really like Big Eyes Blinking Blankly, it's incredibly powerful.

Gem :)

Comment is about Tomás Ó Cárthaigh (poet profile)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

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Dai Miles

Wed 16th Apr 2008 19:41

hey, clarissa. Sorry I'm so late in replying... I'm getting lost around here! Anyways.. thanks.. it's nice to be different!

Comment is about Dai Miles (poet profile)

Original item by Dai Miles

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Louise Fazackerley

Wed 16th Apr 2008 18:43

i got gooseflesh. well done.

Comment is about Only Child (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

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Julian (Admin)

Wed 16th Apr 2008 06:57

I agree with George: simple, perfect.
The writer's implied sadness touches me as I read: doesn't cling any more; cooler hand; she'll have her own varnish...
all point to the writer's anticipation of, what? rejection, increase in loneliness with the increase in her child's independence.
The wave goodbye is a wonderful touch, great imagery. raw, honest, well crafted and - sorry Tomás - better for not rhyming. I say this because I feel the raw honesty would be lost if Helen had tried to force it to rhyme.
This poem could not be 'better'; it just is.
Lovely choice, Sally.

Comment is about Letting-Go (article)

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