I fully support you right to write, Shirley, but I've kind of got stuck thinking about the last stanza!
Comment is about I have the right to write (blog)
Original item by Shirley Smothers
I think you've got 2 or 3 poems going on in here Ian.
As ever, the rhythm is mesmeric (and so different from one you just posted which seems to have disappeared but which was dactylic or anapaestic or somesuch 3/4 time).
"And flowing full the burgeoning that is the all and all" - I'll have to pinch that!
Comment is about WANDERLUST (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
Dave - as for titles...a few years ago, this would have probably been called -"Straight Guy On a Bent March". But time and tolerance moves ahead. I rather liked the "plodding" theme - it sums up the often everyday mundanity that can accompany great social changes in attitudes when the previously rejected and reviled are re-assessed and accommodated.
Comment is about Straight Guy on a Pride March (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Lovely sense of longing. Perfect in it's way.
Comment is about WANDERLUST (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
Hi John, enjoyed this. I like the detail of the first verse. A nice atmosphere.
Comment is about INTERLUDE (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
Hi Ian, many thanks for the kind words on 'radio'. Enjoying your audio tracks.
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
A touching piece on a totally avoidable tragedy. Feel for the victim, and also for the good coppers so badly betrayed by someone who should never have been allowed to wear that uniform in the first place. It takes a special kind of forebearance and grace under pressure in the attendant circumstances and the offender showed all too clearly he just didn't have what it takes.
Comment is about Kettled (blog)
This is lovely. The Sargasso Sea is getting a few mentions today.
Starfish
Comment is about PASSING STRANGE (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
Another stimulating essay to make one think, set out in perfect rhythm and choice phraseology.
The modern conveniences available to the modern western traveller are products of their times, no less than the traveller. As for impoverished peoples elsewhere, would they not be poorer without the money travellers bring? The old "supply and demand" adage still applies: having something to sell that people want to buy. That has always been the way of the world and "wealth" is relative to one's own lifestyle and expectations.
Comment is about WANDERLUST (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
I found this to be poignant and beautifully descriptive. Loved it!
Starfish
Comment is about WANDERLUST (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
And to make matters worse the fracking w....r meant here on the Lancashire coast!! As if explaining that made it all right! Like Harry so eloquently puts it, " let him frack off and frack in his own back yard" and may subsidy be upon all he owns!
Cate xx
Comment is about Lord Howell (Silly Auld Fracka) (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I like the way the words `cow` `guts` and `yoke` end with the made-ness of `sing`
A `makes you think` poem.
Comment is about To Make A Lyre (blog)
Original item by cbyrne
Rhyming (as usual) excellent.
The last stanza poses the essential question.
Comment is about INHERITANCE (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
I like the strikingly original analogy of those first four stanzas.
The last stanza effects me but I can`t say why
(I think it`s to do with that word `but`)
I don`t care what anyone else thinks...It`s a love poem.
By the way, I liked your play on `complaint` in the last one.
Comment is about The woman at my table (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
I know this feeling (I`ve had it) it`s too miserably comfortable, it never lasts.
Comment is about For A Second I Forgot #2 (blog)
Original item by Jonnie Falafel
Thanks Freda. I toyed with the idea of leaving a gap before 'we plodded along' but didn't. The idea, which may well be half-baked, is that once all the fun and celebration is over, the process of making a better more tolerant world, is often a plod, just like the boring bits of a march. And I have the temerity to think God is involved in it.
The title is my "Wow what am I doing here?" and probably does sound daft to march veterans.
Comment is about Straight Guy on a Pride March (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
I'm not sure I get the significance of the title. What makes it specifically the response of a straight guy. I'd agree with Freda too some energy seemed to disipate.
Comment is about Straight Guy on a Pride March (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Thanks guys.
This was extracted from a conversation, the guy was speaking, trying to form his feelings ...and she (in red) was talking softly over him.
Comment is about Julia (blog)
Original item by Christopher Dawson
Yes Shirley, you have the right to write. Don't be put off by people who don't want to hear you. You can write what you want, but they have the right to ignore you. Ignore them too. Its good to put stuff up on Write Out Loud where people do want to hear what you have to say. Get going, put it all down, and choose what you want people to read. But go back over what you write too, and think- is this the best way to say this? Can I reach how I feel about this with the words I use? Am I being honest?
Lets hear more from you.
Comment is about I have the right to write (blog)
Original item by Shirley Smothers
This is interesting as it seems to give up somewhere near the end and turn a bit lame. The energy of a gay pride march runs through it right up to the 'two Dads' quip, but what happened then? It had lines of four beats, but suddenly its all Mr Plod.
I want to say, go back to that moment. You are leaving something out that really mattered. Because you turned away from tackling it, the energy disappeared and you tailed off.
Poetry demands that you say the unspoken. (IMHO)
Comment is about Straight Guy on a Pride March (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sun 4th Aug 2013 20:20
loved it,but! we would have ended the poem...
'I want-you-to make-the-feel-of-my lips
an indelible memory'
??
xx
Comment is about Julia (blog)
Original item by Christopher Dawson
Incidentally it's in a fine tradition too. John Donne has a poem like this... and do you know the song "I Wanna Be Seduced?"...
Comment is about I wanna have sex with you ! (blog)
I like this very much! Sort of romantic and raunchy. I was thinking of posting a similar poem here but thought twice because it's more bipolar regarding this. Maybe i'll do it. It's title is "Hot Afternoon Fucks".... we're all adults aren't we?
Comment is about I wanna have sex with you ! (blog)
Love this one Ged. I can relate to it. After my youngest son got burned he was transferred to a specialist burns unit at Booth Hall Children s Hospital, his Mum in the ambulance with him, with the lights flashing but no siren. They traveled so slowly, like slow motion. I followed on my Triumph Thunderbird. It was an eerie surreal journey. All that was in my head was the growl of the bike and all that was in my eyes was the flashing blue light. This piece has haunted me Ged. Would like to hear you read it mate. Captures the feeling. Thanks.
Comment is about Blue Lights, No Siren (blog)
Original item by Ged Thompson
I really enjoyed this - but add my ha'porth as a southerner for all the slights and rebuffs from "the north". :-))
If it weren't for the need to waste time in "the north"
Defeating those pests - like Duke William: Viking,
King Harold and his foot-wearies had to set forth
Down to Hastings where they would have won to their liking.
And our England would have been free of French rule,
With their avaricious aristos greedy and cruel.
For a thousand years she's been paying the price
For the defeat of King Harold - forced to fight
TWICE!
("North" is a frame of mind as well as a location and I include all those north of Watford - especially any boasting of Viking DNA...frack 'em all - so there!!)
Comment is about Lord Howell (Silly Auld Fracka) (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Not so 'anti-Establishment' as to eschew nepotism, however...!
Comment is about Poet's daughter takes over as editor of literary magazine Ambit (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hi Shirley - thanks for your entry on my profile page about this poem. The "right" to write - when placed in the public domain - invites the right to criticise and comment. That goes with the job. What I can't abide is the defensive abuse that greets a challenge to an often malign point of view expressed as "poetry".
Keep writing!!
Comment is about I have the right to write (blog)
Original item by Shirley Smothers
Well now - Jesus DID have two dads. That's a
neat riposte to gay-bashers (who are often
religious nuts!).
Comment is about Straight Guy on a Pride March (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
The questions in these impressive lines do what poetry is meant to do and seldom does: ponder...with the thoughts lingering long after the lines are read. Top stuff.
Comment is about INHERITANCE (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
Hi JC - I've just enjoyed a long weekend in the glorious (home county) surroundings of coastal South Devon - with a balcony overlooking Lyme Bay and breakfast in the sun on said balcony each morning! Delightful!! So - now back to commenting on WOL. I think that the older "as is" Bob Dylan would enjoy your versions of his youthful efforts. Looking back, they were certainly products of their time...managing to find a slot in the young minds of those days. In the 60s I owned that LP (the title eludes me) with him and a pretty girl arm in arm walking some New York street on its cover. But I was still following Rock and the timeless artistry of a certain Ol' Blue Eyes and never followed up.
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Thanks for taking the trouble to comment on "The Racism One-Step". It was written in response to the idea that racism is a one-way street with one lot always the victim and one lot always the guilty party. I must mention of the penultimate verse in your poem Place De L'Eglise. It was beautifully done and would, imho, have been ideally suited to close your poem.
And now...I will leave you in silence....
Comment is about cbyrne (poet profile)
Original item by cbyrne
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 3rd Aug 2013 22:17
Sat 3rd Aug 2013 14:47
nice idea expressed in an interesting way
Comment is about THE RACISM ONE-STEP (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Shirley- I hope they realise that too, I really do x
This is my daughter right now, in the middle of the see-saw, trying to balance but soon- tipping over to another phase. Scary! Thanks for reading xxx
Comment is about Inter urinas et faeces nascimur (blog)
Original item by CathyLCrabb
Hi Anthony, I see that Simon Armitage has announced his itinerary for his south-west walk, and will be calling in at the Plough arts centre in Great Torrington, which I believe is your neck of the woods, on Tuesday September 3. Will you be going along, by any chance? http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=38194
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
I can identify with this poem. I know my children have hated me in the past. They are older now and I hope they realize that I did the best in raising them as I could.
Nice poem!
Shirley
Comment is about Inter urinas et faeces nascimur (blog)
Original item by CathyLCrabb
Hello Nigel,
I told you a few weeks ago that I have a risque but not very risque poem. It's titled "I Have the Right to Write." It's on my profile page.
Thanks,
Shirley
Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)
Original item by Nigel Astell
Hi M.C.
I told you a few weeks ago that I had written a not so great poem telling people where they can kiss me. It's titled "I Have the right to Write."
Not a great poem but it express's my opinion.
Thanks,
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
sorry to but in - but if it helps here's the link:
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/newsgroupview.php?NewsThreadsID=1458
Ian
Comment is about blog (blog)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
grr- I click on ''blog'' and it brings me back here- hmm...is there such a page?
Comment is about blog (blog)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
beautiful poem Tom - quite surreal and disturbing - although there are some comforting images in there that sort of turn on their head - good stuff :-)
Ian
Comment is about The Radio (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Ha I realised I answered 'where'not 'what' sorry. Blog and it is scrutinised more than on normal blog posts. Critiqued if you like :-)
Comment is about blog (blog)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
K- I have been threatened with such- a shouted silent demand- you have conveyed that simply, and, likewise, done it in the quiet... Tommy
Comment is about No title (blog)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
ah ok. I keep forgetting where it is but i think it's on one of the discussion threads :-)
Comment is about blog (blog)
Original item by Kath Hewitt
kath hewitt
Tue 6th Aug 2013 00:47
I Liked this. It flows really well.
Comment is about Lending (blog)
Original item by John Coopey