David, thanks so much for your insight. I’d like to say that was my intention; in all honesty, there is rarely any intention behind my poetry. I just write what comes to mind in the moment. Becoming obscure is not particularly relevant to me as I am merely an amateur writer with tendency to ramble before sharing with unsuspecting readers like yourself.
I appreciate your feedback very much. 🙏🏻
Comment is about Fashionistas from Mars (blog)
Original item by Clare
I like this Clare because it speaks to me in different ways of different things.
Of Protest, Courage, Conviction, Clarity of knowing.
It seems to herald form a particular age which may be subtely referenced in the title, forgive me if I am wrong. It seems to have sprung from the late 60's and early 70's when some artists were brave enough to be different and put themselves at some risk of obscurity, specifically Bowie (I would suggest) who obviously went on to be widely appreciated and loved for his difference.
Of course, that is just how your words poked my mind and may not be your intention. Irrespective it stirred my imagination. So thank you.
David
Comment is about Fashionistas from Mars (blog)
Original item by Clare
Thanks to John, Stephen and Crypid for the early likes.
David
Comment is about The Sand Reckoner (blog)
Original item by David RL Moore
A fine poem, Ray. Like most of us, I have known people who perished in disasters of some sort. Every one of these tragedies takes away precious human lives. They should always be remembered.
Comment is about THE MARCHIONESS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
You emit emotion expertly ... The punctuation is a bit questionable ... sit on your poems for a bit and update them as inspiration hits. You are so good!!!
Comment is about Broken Record's Repetition (blog)
Original item by Yasoda
This is so sadly beautiful! Hard to believe you are so young. It gave me goose bumps, ...
A few suggestions:
death starts out as "they" and is once "he." I would suggest always "he" unless there is a reason for "they" in which case get rid of the "he."
"I note that he's got the same smile as I" - maybe eliminate this? does anyone know what their real smile looks like? I don't think it adds to the poem.
"I smile back" is priceless.
EXCELLENT WORK. And I'm so sorry for whatever you experienced that inspired this.
Comment is about I Smile In The Face Of Death (blog)
Original item by Yasoda
I seem to recollect that the sister of former England rugby captain, Lawrence Dallaglio, was one of those drowned.
Comment is about THE MARCHIONESS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Magical thoughts flow out of your creative ink to draw lines on each a word found on what was once a blank page waiting to be filled✍️
Comment is about Scrambled thoughts to serve (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
When clues are hard to find something stirs to draw in the answers you so desperately need 💕
Comment is about Decoding (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
So meaningful 💕
Comment is about Elizabeth's family and life - Chapter 2 (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
That is what life is all about don't waste a minute-enjoy every single second of it😎
Comment is about Besties reunion - chapter 1 (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Once you find it you will never let it go😎
Comment is about The enchanted forest (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
He listens to us and then we pray once more before we act😎
Comment is about Lessons learnt (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Bringing with it a lifetime bonding that will stay within your heart forever💕
Comment is about The house we call home (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Strong desires with added passion can waste no time in finding out💕
Comment is about Simple joys of life (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Love is so upside down when the struggle starts and can end unless the lovers themselves can work it out.💕
Comment is about Labyrinth of thoughts (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Tue 20th Aug 2024 16:34
I remember this because it was the night before my father died, Ray. My wife saw a helicopter scouring the Thames from the train while travelling the following morning to his bedside. At the time it just seemed the latest in a stream of disasters ... Piper Alpha, the Zeebrugge ferry, Hillsborough ... all different in their way, but all around the same time. 'No lookout on either vessel'. I wrote a poem about my father's death and called it 'The River'.
Comment is about THE MARCHIONESS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Londoners like myself will know these names. A rare event
but all the worse for its combination of frivolity and everyday
mundane tragedy. Was it really that long ago?
Comment is about THE MARCHIONESS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Hi Ray,
Sorry for the delay on this comment.
A terrible tragedy which seems has sunk beyond memory.
There are some subtle and not so subtle references here, all worthy of note.
The yuppie culture of that time was destined to run out of steam, thankfully it did and in similar disastrous fashion...unfortunately leaving lives marooned, in debt and worse.
The likening of the incident to a rape seems apt considering the dark and dangerous nature of The River.
Together with the element of risk and general abandonment with which some people lived their lives in that period, this poem manages to encapsulate the times and the event into a kind of bitter metaphor.
A sad remebrance of a disaster which started out in celebration.
David
Comment is about THE MARCHIONESS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Yes, true love and true hearts are predictable.
Comment is about Messages received (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
To be unlocked by the right key at the right time, untill then chillax😀
Comment is about Grateful (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Souls backed by God never break Nigel
Comment is about Misleading assumptions (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Exactly Nigel. With time we just accept the reality and life goes on and on and on.
Comment is about Letting go (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
It's only God who can back us up everytime, each day for lifetime
Comment is about Lessons learnt (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Almost there Nigel. Dorothy at the threshold of freedom
Comment is about Fearlessly empowered (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
O Nigel.... Nature is filled with Peace and tranquility🌷
Comment is about The enchanted forest (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Life lived with a purpose adds meaning and joy to life.
Isn't it Nigel?
Comment is about Besties reunion - chapter 1 (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Lifetime friendships are so precious💓
Thanks Nigel.
Comment is about Elizabeth's family and life - Chapter 2 (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Definitely Nigel. Slipping off the mask, bare truth revealed😃
Comment is about Haters aren't lovers (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
I guess, we should... M. C. Newberry... Thanx🌷
Comment is about Needship (blog)
Original item by Sunshine
Thanks for likes: Manish & Stephen W 👍
Comment is about Gone But Not Forgotten (blog)
Original item by Tom Doolan
Thank you Ray,
Just back from "The Real Wild West"
Hope all is well with you.
David
Comment is about Of Love, Lust and Faith (blog)
Original item by David RL Moore
I am glad you have found a voice on here which does not compromise on issues such as this. Your range of thinking is broad and some poems might appeal on a different level entirely, but that serves the bigger purpose in my book. Often history can hide its face behind the mirror of the present travails. Insanity lies in too much darkness. Gripping stuff.
Ray
Comment is about Of Love, Lust and Faith (blog)
Original item by David RL Moore
The incident of the Marchioness occurred on the 20th March 1989, thirty five years to the day. It seems strange to find no present coverage of the tragedy which resulted in the deaths of twenty four people.
Comment is about THE MARCHIONESS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thanks for the like telboy...belated entry.
David
Comment is about Of Love, Lust and Faith (blog)
Original item by David RL Moore
A sad loss indeed, Stephen. Rediffusion reminds me of Borders bookshop. They both provided a social service - everybody looked at their goods but nobody bought anything.
Comment is about REDIFFUSION (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Good point, Uilleam. It won't be all plain sailing. In the end, I can't believe that America will vote for Trump a second time, but for Harris to win voters have to turn out, put aside scruples about issues like Gaza and not waste their vote on fringe parties (or the republicans!).
The title comes from a book about Bill Clinton, a sleazeball who wasn't a bad President. Unfortunately, Trump will be both.
Hugh, Stephen. K Lynn, Manish, Rudyard and Max for liking this.
Comment is about The President You Deserve (blog)
Original item by Stephen Gospage
Yasoda
Wed 21st Aug 2024 10:57
Hi Linda, thank you for your lovely comment and suggestions!!
I think you mean the 'he-person' in stanza 4. This person is supposed to be a family member (not specified how close) of the person on their deathbed. That is why there's something familiar about the man (as he is family), but the person can't quite put a finger on it yet. Also why his face is tear-streaked and 'he looks like he might need a squeeze'. The 4th stanza is meant to emphasize the importance of family in one's life. The 3rd stanza ends with the speaker falling into a pit of despair, losing himself a bit, and the feeling of his family member holding his hand is what keeps him from the edge and brings him back to reality.
Hope that clarifies things a bit!! And thank you so much for liking my poem, it means the world to me 💗💗💗
Comment is about I Smile In The Face Of Death (blog)
Original item by Yasoda