Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Profile image

Vicki Ayers

Thu 24th Mar 2016 12:53

Wow! Thanks guys - I'm so pleased you liked it!! X

Comment is about Fusion (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

Profile image

Stu Buck

Thu 24th Mar 2016 11:51

thanks cynthia. i somehow managed to miss your piece on mythology (it may have come at peak baby time) but i have read it now and find it fascinating. i have forwarded it to my wife, who will read it later i am promised. brilliantly, it appears to cover a subject (how can we learn from greek mythology) that she is covering in some depth herself this module. i shall report back!

and i agree about the need to clarify. peeling away the detritus leaves us with a pure form i think, which is why the haiku still thrives today. i received a wonderful book on basho for christmas, and found a further two in a charity shop detailing his travels. quite remarkable how much detail he packed into so few words. its not the brevity or the depth of meaning that gets me, its the way he plays with description, as if he is planting a seed that grows instantly and fills the brain with remarkable imagery. words to watercolours as it were.

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 11:51

Splendid, and wonderfully topical for contemplation at this period of Christianity's Passion Week. A real treat to find. I'm glad I surfed back.

Pop back and fix 'separatedness' with an 'a'. It's a very sneaky word; I used to say, ''There's 'a rat' in 'separate'. '' Whatever works, yeh?

Comment is about Preaching (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 11:36

Idea first, then a few, well-chosen words for maximum effect - a true skill.

Comment is about Fusion (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 11:25

This is good, and certainly topical. Did you ever check out the possibility of 'couplet format', if only to make the poem presumably 'shorter', and maybe even more impactive? Although these successive, compact verses do have a machine gun 'rattle' to them. Just a thought.

The final two lines are great.

Comment is about No Matter Where (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 11:11

I enjoyed this very much. Interesting how we poets take whatever totally absorbs us in the moment, and we are almost compelled to reconstruct our impressions into poetry. Is it possible that we thrive on reducing the mighty ideas to the simplicity of a few lines - like a synopsis?

I do think that we crave clarity. Are we all innate teachers?

What did you wife think of 'Do not dismiss Mythology'? Any merit?

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 10:59

This is a strong subject, and a very brave one.

I know you strongly dislike interference of any kind, but I'm risking it. 'the ivory tower' seems to be a contradiction of the sincerity I thought you originally meant; so, I conclude that you are being sarcastic rather than supportive of the 'born again' experience. I'm not sure. Is that your intent? Ambiguity?

Comment is about BORN AGAIN (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Stu Buck

Thu 24th Mar 2016 10:54

thanks martin. i was listening to a wonderful song called 'the past is a grotesque animal' and altered the title to 'history is a snivelling beast' which i liked. then pink floyd came on and it just went from there...

i dont know about the nights for w.o.l and nor, strangely, can i find them online.

Comment is about 22.3.16 (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 10:51

Welcome to WOL. You've made a huge impact on the Northern poetry scene already. Very impressive.

Comment is about Ronnie Leek 1 (poet profile)

Original item by Ronnie Leek 1

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 10:46

IMO, a superb poem, the essence of what fine poetry really does - to evolve deep meaning in a few brilliant words. And the craftsmanship to express your idea.

Comment is about They lay (blog)

Original item by Ronnie Leek 1

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 24th Mar 2016 10:36

Funny, funny, funny - with a razor edge to cut to pieces. Great conclusion. This writing must help hugely to keep you laughing instead of screeching. Whatever does the job, yes?

Comment is about Packed Lunch (blog)

Profile image

Nigel Astell

Thu 24th Mar 2016 10:09

After talking to Doug Broadhurst about a painting called Celebration I put together a poem called Poetic Shades.

This acrylic on wood stands out from a superb collection of Art and he is joined by five other artists who have put all their work on view for this exhibition.

Comment is about Write Out Loud open mic sessions linked to exhibition at Stockport art gallery (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Stu Buck

Thu 24th Mar 2016 09:49

thanks graham,
having a wife who is currently studying greek mythology, I was edging closer to Gaia the primordial deity here, but I do find Gaia theory fascinating and it could almost (almost) be applied to this I feel.
I'm glad its provoked some feelings, thats what I had hoped.

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Thu 24th Mar 2016 00:00

The Gaia hypothesis, also known as Gaia theory or Gaia principle, proposes that organisms interact with their inorganic surroundings on Earth to form a synergistic self-regulating, complex system that helps to maintain and perpetuate the conditions for life on the planet.

Having seen how urban desolation is quickly reclaimed by nature (Gaia) this dystopian scene you paint so vividly would be a bit like foot-shooting Stu.

Shit, blood, rape and ejaculation are all simple organics and will eat themselves two-headed snake fashion.

A great canvas this one.

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Stu Buck

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 21:50

thanks both.

ray - someone mentioned the word earlier on something i was watching and i re-fell in love with it. it just rolls of the tongue!

harry - yes, i have a bit of a thing for taking mankinds treatment of the world and warping it into surreal/hallucinogenic scenes. i am always interested in other views on the current state of affairs and im glad i have provoked one.its global warming and everything really. im currently reading naked lunch so im in quite a negative mindset!

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 21:50

I love this too, especially 'painting colours inside my eyes'.

Comment is about Fusion (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 21:45

Stu,
This reads a bit homunculii causing global warming to me.

The gaia hypothesis is suspected by some scientists as
a way of trying to get back to metaphysics via physics.
(the idea that there is some sort of huge teleological plan
to the world...or that it is somehow self-regulating.)

Man (your homunculus?) is certainly the problem.

It is a fascinating theory, but as a Christian, convinced that we were all bunged out of some gaia-like garden of Eden
aeons ago, I don`t really regard our present domicile as
permanent anyway.

Mind - for someone who might - you have conjured up
a suitably horrific poetic kind of secular hell.

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 20:45

I’m always blowing the candles out,
Grinning through the psalms,
Laughing through the prayers,
I can’t walk into church with you
But I can meet you by the graveyard,

Inspired lines.

I particularly like the doves, the grace etc


Comment is about Fruit In My Fist (blog)

Original item by Alexandra K. Parapadakis

Profile image

raypool

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 20:33

Thanks Stu for your comment on Mother Nature the flower seller. I was quite surprised at the plethora of response. I was thinking of the lady in a Christmas Carol with the little waifs - it does seem be an enduring image.
Hope you're keeping up with all your responsibilities and getting lots of joy. !

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

raypool

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 20:24

The word homunculus is just fantastic and keeps on coming. A very powerful event throughout Stu. Hardly any descriptive stone is left unturned. A rip roarer if I may say!

Comment is about running running (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

David R Mellor

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 20:06


thanks for the comment harry and yes a lot of soul searching will have to go on

Comment is about Don’t Take Me to the airport (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Profile image

Stu Buck

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 19:50

very good ray. reminds me of a line from a book i just finished by louis-ferdinand celine;

'outside the kiosk the soda-water lady seemed to be slowly gathering the evening shadows around her skirt'

not sure why but its a great book by a great author so its a compliment!

lots of beauty and wisdom here

Comment is about MOTHER NATURE THE FLOWER SELLER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

David R Mellor

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 19:48

thanks for your comment patricia and stefan , and well put

Comment is about Don’t Take Me to the airport (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Profile image

raypool

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 19:41

Thanks Harry and Alexandra. Very nice to be appreciated in one's efforts. Makes it all worth while.
I always sweat over my poems these days to get the best I can.

Comment is about MOTHER NATURE THE FLOWER SELLER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 19:14

The officer's quoted words have the ring of irresistible
rhythm to them. My imagination takes me further.

"Step back onto the sidewalk sir"
Was accompanied by the bump
Of a baton designed to deter
As I looked for Donald Trump.
The press pack watching were impressed
As far as I could see
And made a note when I confessed
To my role in poetry.
Three thousand miles to spread the word
And undermine the sword
That waves with virtuous wrath incurred
Where most don't go abroad

On my every word they hung
Where English seems a foreign tongue.
As I left their voices followed me:
"There goes a man of poetry.
Whatever your political fence
He'll bring you words that make fine sense."
:-)

Comment is about 'Step back onto the sidewalk, sir': searching for the poetic side of Donald Trump (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Julian (Admin)

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 19:00

I would love to hear from writers out loud who used to be involved in the old poem of the month and see if we can get their support for this.

Comment is about Coming soon ... picking a Poem of the Week on Write Out Loud (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

John Coopey

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:59

...and another thing, Harry. You're not offered gas and air or pethidine or an epidural in expectation of a tollchock to the yarbles.

Comment is about ALWAYS THINKING (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:49

To Oldly go where no competition has gone before!
About time too.

Comment is about Martin Figura to judge new award for older poets (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:42

Well-wrought - with considered construction that has a
powerful message.
There is unease insofar that these lines could be
adopted to suit any viewpoint - the mention of "drones"
adds to this wider context.

Comment is about No Matter Where (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

Profile image

Alexandra Parapadakis

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:12

This would be a good one for open mic!

Comment is about Irish and Proud (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

Profile image

Alexandra Parapadakis

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:11

I love the imagery. The interjected speech really adds voice, the rhyming also works very well

Comment is about MOTHER NATURE THE FLOWER SELLER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Alexandra Parapadakis

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:06

Love this, especially the last 2 lines

Comment is about Fusion (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

Profile image

Alexandra Parapadakis

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 18:05

This flows so well & speaks a strong message

Comment is about No Matter Where (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

Profile image

Julian (Admin)

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 17:41

Well, you have to laugh. I was handed a bumper sticker saying Never Trump which, for us northerners, has a rather amusing connotation.
The sticker came from a Republican group opposed to having Trump as the candidate. They have been considering urging Republicans to vote for Hillary Clinton rather than have him represent their beloved Republican party.
Incredible, and scary when you remember how Hitler was treated as a joke at first. The other parallel is the increasing violence at his rallies, which he encourages and condones, even offering to pay the perpetrators' legal fees.
He has also said, apropos of Brussels, that they should arrest all the muslims in the neighbourhood and torture them because someone knows who did it. Waterboarding, it seems, is too good for them.

Comment is about 'Step back onto the sidewalk, sir': searching for the poetic side of Donald Trump (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Martin Elder

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 17:24

very good Cynthia. I can never imagine you finding yourself in such a position. Will you be reading this next month?

Comment is about Privacy was never promised ... (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Martin Elder

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 17:18

I was trying to decide why I liked this other than the fact it is your usual excellent use of words and I think it is in part the description of the history teacher at the beginning as being a bit of a relic rounded off nicely with the sunset.
Nice one Stu.
Which nights are the Shrewsbury WOL?

Comment is about 22.3.16 (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 16:05

John,
I am eternally grateful that I fathered well before all this `go in and see it born` thing (but I like it on the tele)

Nuts?..never!...but I was butted a few times :)

Comment is about ALWAYS THINKING (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 15:55

Simon,
Although - at this time - we read this with reference to the present troubles, the unspecificity of the (well handled) stanzas would make it usable against any kind of
terrorist group.

Comment is about No Matter Where (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 15:39

But we will all keep going nevertheless..until - as some guy on the tele said today - `we deal with the ideology`

Iran and Saudi Arabia are going to have to come together on this one.

A recent (glimmer) of example was the meeting of the Latin and Orthodox heads of Christianity in Cuba recently.

If only...?

Comment is about Don’t Take Me to the airport (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Profile image

Frances Spurrier

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 15:27

What if you spent the first half of your life raising three kids and working jobs to finance their fashion habits?

Comment is about Martin Figura to judge new award for older poets (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 15:26

Congratulations Ray,

At last! a modern poem which actually gets some (country wench) actual beauty in it and remain stubbornly modern.

(It`s a very hard thing to do)

Even the honesty of the reminder in the last four lines!

Comment is about MOTHER NATURE THE FLOWER SELLER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Trevor Alexander

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 12:53

Thanks for your comment Cynthia. I guess I'm a bit wedded to the pentameter in the first four lines of these stanzas. When I read it through originally, I was checking I got the syllable count right. It might indeed scan better as you suggest - I'll give it some thought.

Comment is about Of Starlings (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Profile image

Trevor Alexander

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 12:44

Simplified, astrometry is part of the discipline of astronomy that measures the movements of stars and other celestial bodies.

Comment is about The Wanderer (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Profile image

Robert Mann

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 12:07

Vicki - I feel I should get my paddle out and explore your rapids! Hope your not afraid of whitewater.
Rob

Comment is about Riversong (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

Profile image

Robert Mann

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 12:03

Vicki - you really are a naughty pixie and your preferred themes give you away. THAT SAID, YOU CERTAINLY HAVE A GIFT FOR IT! This piece is terrific.
Rob

Comment is about Synaesthesia (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 11:43

'Holly and red berries' are symbols of the 'crown of thorns and the droplets of blood upon the face of Jesus' in the Passion Story of Eastertide. Considering the week, maybe your dream is not so unusual. Perhaps some memory twigged in your mind, even from childhood, especially a ghastly image. Or you're still fighting emotional ideas about the Story you can't yet confront rationally. Maybe never.

That'll be £1000, please. HAHA. I have more crust than bread. I'm part joking and part serious about the comments though. I read Freud's 'Dreams' many years ago; I thought I'd found a treasure in an old second-hand bookshop. But - after several attempts to 'understand the great thinker' I just pitched it. Some of it made some sense, and some of it seemed just like hogwash. I was totally disillusioned in its reputation. So, I'll never know whether I wasn't smart enough to understand, or smart enough to toss it out. Conundrum!

I love having you as a friend. The freedom!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Profile image

Steve Higgins

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 11:41

Not a bad suggestion guys. Wrote the poem at work after seeing the sad news on TV but not happy with the last few lines.

Comment is about Words instead of Bombs (blog)

Original item by Steve Higgins

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 11:21

Welcome to WOL. There must have been a lot of talent bubbling away for years just beneath the surface, a talent for acute observations, and a way with words, in whatever job you were in.

Comment is about Trevor Alexander (poet profile)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 11:20

Hahaa - brilliant Cynthia! Cleverly unfurled (hmm - should that be uncurled?!) this poem, and I have to say that 'digging about' did make me wince a little. I'd say it'd be unintentional in another writer, but it's you, so it's not :p

I had a night terror the other night involving a dangerously threatening branch of a holly tree with bright red berries. That's a first. Still pondering that one. It's usually spiders.

Anyhoo - I thoroughly enjoyed this :D




ps, there's an 'i' missing from 'digging'

Comment is about Privacy was never promised ... (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 23rd Mar 2016 11:15

Much enjoyed, a fine picture of the captivating event.

When you are developing your lines, may I suggest that you read them aloud for smooth flow. For example:

'Then rise again in dawning light
To repeat again the diurnal rite
Of starlings.'

All I have done is omit 'early', which makes a little hiccup in the rhythm without adding anything outstanding to the whole idea. Just an opinion that carries no more weight than that. I'm looking forward to going back and reading more of your work.

Comment is about Of Starlings (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

More Comments

◄ Prev123 … 299 … 598 … 897 … 1196 … 1495 … 17441745174617471748 … 1794 … 2093 … 2392 … 2691 … 298629872988Next ►

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message