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<Deleted User> (11482)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 19:34

As you already know, I love this. It's very heartfelt. Almost as if you were in my head.

Comment is about Catching my Breath (blog)

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Julian (Admin)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 18:12

Excellent. what was it Adrian Mitchell said? Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. Good on you, Smokestack Books.

Comment is about Smokestack champions the radical and unfashionable (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 17:10

Your signature 'shaft' straight to the heart of the reader, exposing so poetically a universal experience. Your craft and graft make your poetry always top quality.

(LOL, I did not do that on purpose -'-aft', so I'm leaving it.)

Comment is about Independence Day (blog)

Original item by jane wilcock

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:52

I had to read it three times to fully appreciate the metaphors, and then it became a fine poem. IMO, the reader doesn't need to know what your vision is - it is yours only, and the poem is about the realization that you have one.

Comment is about Years (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:40

This has mood - 'not wanting to feel the touch of another soul'; 'a longing that needs feeding' etc. very powerful imagery. At least I think it is 'poetic' imagery.

There are many good ideas, but I did start to flounder through them a bit. I think this has the symbolism approach of Indian poetry, but I'm not sure. Maybe it is the 'gypsy' effect I see in the picture that influences me, recalling 'gypsy' origins.

Comment is about forever more (blog)

Original item by Anna Grinter

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:22

Delightful - comedy with a deft touch.

Comment is about Life's a Blast (blog)

Original item by Starfish

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:19

Major point - major funny. Good way to do it - stick them while they're laughing.

Comment is about Dyspraxia (blog)

Original item by terry ireland

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:08

I do like this. It seems that the faster one reads it, the better it sounds, because the rhyme scheme takes over, and your very imaginative ideas seem to 'brush in' together.

Would you consider a different pattern of lines, one that would highlight your rhyming? Or is this a deliberate effort to do exactly NOT that?

Comment is about A TINT (blog)

Original item by Pete Slater

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Nigel Astell

Thu 26th Sep 2013 15:46

Thanks for the books A Harvest of Art John

Are you taking Christmas bookings yet for the next one?

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 15:41

Penetrating, and beautifully crafted. I really enjoyed this, and will return to it often, just for my pleasure.

Comment is about In tribute to Seamus Heaney (blog)

Original item by Adrienne Silcock

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Frances Spurrier

Thu 26th Sep 2013 13:42

Great article Cynthia. I like the title. I think the 'don't feel a poem has to rhyme' mantra has been taken too far.

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Laura Taylor

Thu 26th Sep 2013 12:40

Thanks Steve!

Comment is about Fragment (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Laura Taylor

Thu 26th Sep 2013 11:17

Harry - about this:

"metaphor and simile is that it should be fairly and universally accessible (and not some private inaccessible private mind - world of an individual)"

how exactly do you KNOW what is 'universally accessible'? There are some of my poems that you have been unable to understand, and I've thought they were blindingly obvious.

And - if you do somehow chance upon something that IS 'universally accessible', where do you draw the line between that and 'glaringly obvious' or 'cliched'?


Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

<Deleted User> (11459)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 11:10

the lesson of life is
to learn how to love

Comment is about Cut! (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 26th Sep 2013 10:04

Crikey, a masterclass here Cynthia. A lot of this goes over my head as it sounds like a checklist for the performance brigade (the majority on here I suspect).
I do not however agree with the comments about trusting the lips and the tongue.
Obviously, if a piece is going to be read aloud it should be easy to project and words therefore may be changed to effect this. However if read "in the head" these sort of amendments do not need to be made.

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 26th Sep 2013 09:50

This is really an accomplished piece of writing Simon. I'm not too keen on the reversal of some lines to make rhyme (here do dine, set fires new etc) but there really are a lot of clever ideas in this and some wonderful terms.

Good work,

Graham

Comment is about From Beyond a Dream (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

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John Coopey

Thu 26th Sep 2013 09:42

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dorinda macdowell

Thu 26th Sep 2013 08:41

I have just watched the video: WOW! (Julian: it sounds somewhat along the lines of something I had proposed some time ago here where I live in Offerton which unfortunately never got off the ground due to a sudden lack of council funding - I'm sure you remember that?) I am going to get more details from the link provided: I believe it's something we all of us at WOL Stockport have the gifts and abilities which may encourage someone to develop their creativity!

Comment is about Creative Input Required (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Mr Dean Carroll

Thu 26th Sep 2013 05:56

Thanks for your comment on Religious Dogma Jane. As an atheist I found it something topical to write about. cheers

Comment is about jane wilcock (poet profile)

Original item by jane wilcock

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Steve Higgins

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:59

The secret of life is this;
You are born -then you die. As for the bit in between, well thats the great mystery as Native Americans say.
This poem has a great feel to it,
best wishes, Steve

Comment is about The Prime of Life (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

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Steve Higgins

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:53

All those poems I've written while semi asleep and how I've scrabbled for my notebook to jot them down when I awake. Few have made it to my computer . .
Enjoyable piece,
Steve

Comment is about Fragment (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:47

Cynthia wise words wisely said.

Your points about poetic creation and presentation could hardly be bettered.

Rhyme has indeed been academically bullied out of todays `serious` poetry and the only way back back for it will be along the lines of your insistence on the primacy of rhythm. (and serious pleasure in the sound of a serious poem). You are spot on that poetry is essentially oral, and that our eyes translate the `music` of it even from the page.

Poems are indeed a `placement of words along a pre-figured pattern of interpretation`. that pre-figuration is a coherence of chosen words which take additional strength from the poet`s choice of placement, and in doing so sometimes say more than even the poet himself realises. The poet`s intention, (choice or exclusion of the words) is what is deliberated -the result is what the poem does with those words.

The only thing I would add to the timely points you make about metaphor and simile is that it should be fairly and universally accessible (and not some private inaccessible private mind - world of an individual)

That our eyes translate music even from the page much needed saying – as did your words about structured poetry, and the available structures. I would have liked more on the relation of structure to the typographical shape of the poem on the page.

Your points about performance are very helpful I wonder – when the whole person is up there before the audience – what part the individual personality plays?

A very enjoyable, informed, and valuable essay

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Steve Higgins

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:41

Interesting work, complete with photograph to complete the mental imagery!
Many, many years ago when I was a bus driver, no bus company toilet was complete without the logo
'here I sit broken hearted -missed a trip and only farted' which referred to how a driver could request his bus journey to be covered by another driver if he needed to use the toilet!
-Steve

Comment is about Cottage Sleaze (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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John Coopey

Wed 25th Sep 2013 21:45

Loved the rhythm in this Marksy. I'm sitting in the window seat (facing forward, of course) when I read this.

Comment is about Speeding on through Somewhereshire (blog)

Original item by Marksy

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John Coopey

Wed 25th Sep 2013 21:41

Glad you enjoyed "I'm The Urbane Statesman", Marksy.

Comment is about Marksy (poet profile)

Original item by Marksy

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Shirley Smothers

Wed 25th Sep 2013 19:46

Nice writing.
Gives one pause to think.
I often ponder is my life a dream, or is my dream life.
Enjoyed this

Shirley

Comment is about Waiting for the duster. (blog)

Original item by Ged Thompson

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Isobel

Wed 25th Sep 2013 16:20

I like it Ian - it's fascinating to think that we are all surrounded by particles of other people.

I like the flow you've got going in this non rhyming piece - and I love the catch at the end.

Comment is about dust (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Lynn Dye

Wed 25th Sep 2013 15:54

I enjoyed this very much and agree with Solar, a great poem.

Comment is about Speeding on through Somewhereshire (blog)

Original item by Marksy

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Wed 25th Sep 2013 14:44

thank you for reading.

Comment is about Punk (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Cathy Crabb

Wed 25th Sep 2013 12:16

Thank you for that xxx When I reach the end of my understanding of numbers I think- that's the key to life itself- that bit I don't understand!

Comment is about The Prime of Life (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

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Simon Marks

Wed 25th Sep 2013 11:42

Ah, trains now are so quiet I find there's a lot less of the clackety-clack than before - hence the "silent window frames" line.
Also means you can hear other people's banal conversations too, but that's another rant, another time...
Cheers anyway!

Comment is about Speeding on through Somewhereshire (blog)

Original item by Marksy

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Simon Austin

Wed 25th Sep 2013 10:01

Thank you very much SW, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment is about From Beyond a Dream (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

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Gareth Glyn Roberts

Wed 25th Sep 2013 09:54

Thank you Solar!

Comment is about Jousting (blog)

Original item by Gareth Glyn Roberts

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Chris Co

Wed 25th Sep 2013 02:03

Such people have no respect for the dignity of human life. Very sad individually and for all those involved.

The poem they have published in his honour is seriously good. It makes me want to read more, I guess it will have the same effect upon others.

Not sure if there could be a more fitting tribute.

Comment is about African poet Kofi Awoonor among Kenya massacre victims (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Steve Higgins

Tue 24th Sep 2013 23:12

Ta for looking in on 'Some Love' Marksy. Been away for a month in France and thought I'd come back with a notebook full of poems. (I didn't) Actually wrote 'Some Love' during a lull at work!
All the best, Steve

Comment is about Marksy (poet profile)

Original item by Marksy

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Dali

Tue 24th Sep 2013 22:49

Beautifully straight to the point!

Comment is about louise (repost) (blog)

Original item by Rachel Bond

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 22:23

Cool Dali-o!x

Comment is about Empty century (blog)

Original item by Dali

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 22:20

very much enjoyed Larisa.Best wishes.x

Comment is about Don't Give Away Your Loved Ones! (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 22:13

Loved the poem Frederick.I have no fear of 'real' books disappearing,hence my basement library!x

Comment is about Would They Have Listened, Then? (blog)

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 22:08

enjoyed the poem.Will check out the link later.

Thank you.x

Comment is about Danger of Zealous Fervor (blog)

Original item by Joseph J. Breunig 3rd

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 22:00

I LOVE your limerick'y work!x

Comment is about Jousting (blog)

Original item by Gareth Glyn Roberts

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 21:58

well crafted poem.x

Comment is about Interest Only (blog)

Original item by Paul Sands

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 21:55

I couldnt quite get the clackety-clack rhythm,but a great poem nevertheless.x

Comment is about Speeding on through Somewhereshire (blog)

Original item by Marksy

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 21:44

very much enjoyed piece of social history.x

Comment is about A Cold Filthy Metropolis (blog)

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 21:41

fantasy in full and beautiful flow.x

Comment is about From Beyond a Dream (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 24th Sep 2013 21:39

Praise be for great poetry!x

Comment is about The Prime of Life (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 24th Sep 2013 17:33

JC - this brings to mind the time - very late -
when I was on a "protection detail" and while
waiting for the return of my client from an
assignation with his lady friend, I found a
local urinal to relieve an insistent call of
nature on the "hurry up" in a north London public urinal. I was somewhat surprised to
find it as full of blokes as a strip club - but without the women. Exit...without checking
the graffiti!

Comment is about Cottage Sleaze (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Simon Marks

Tue 24th Sep 2013 17:28

Gawd, took me back to a few less than pleasant places of my own youth, this one. In a nice way, though!

Comment is about Cottage Sleaze (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Simon Marks

Tue 24th Sep 2013 17:23

As Dave said, very thought-provoking and moving stuff.

Comment is about dust (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Simon Marks

Tue 24th Sep 2013 17:18

Tremendous rhythm and musicality to this that just keeps you there until the end. Superb stuff.

Comment is about Some Love (blog)

Original item by Steve Higgins

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