Really evocative, packed with examples of pretty much everything! Great rhythm making it a real pleasure to read, to savour the words.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

Thanks for your comment on my latest Anthony and for your musings...

I don't honestly believe that any of those youths mused over what bankers and dishonest politicians and got up to, before they went on the rampage - but that's just my opinion of course. As for the man who got accidentally shot by police... remind me not to pack an illegal firearm next time I go shopping or run away from a copper - it must increase the risks exponentially.

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Abdicating responsiblity for teaching right and wrong, failing to provide any form of discipline is a kind of neglect, isn't it? I imagine that in a lot of those families it goes hand in hand with giving children no time. It takes time to do any of this and time is one thing modern parents don't have - which would explain to some extent the reasons why a number of rich kids were caught up in this.

The only time where I think parents rightly struggle and can't be automatically blamed, is when drugs are involved. Drugs can alter a nice kid from a nice home, in no time at all. Most families have been touched by them at some level. It isn't easy for anyone to fight chemical addictions and win. I do feel for those parents.

Comment is about The Haves and The Have Nots (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Very powerful, Dave. The immediacy of the language realy packs a punch - shoots the reader right into the action. Very visceral:
"You have hidden the vomit, urine and tears". I do agree with Ray that perhaps you don't need the last 2 lines - it really is powerful enough and also wonder if you could lose the LMF and instead leave in the 3 words as a revelation of the meaning of the title? Just suggestions - it really is excellent. XX

Comment is about LMF (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Always great to see innovation of form. Nicely done, Dave. X

Comment is about Men and tears (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Dave, really enjoyed this poem of yours. A subtle and thoughtful piece which gets you thinking. Lots of great images. And the "camped" of the title highlights how temporary life is. X

Comment is about Camped (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

You've really got me thinking about this one.

I suppose page poetry, for me, is from the heart. I wouldn't write it for any particular audience - I'm writing it for myself. If other people like it or comment on it, then that's just a bonus. That may be because poetry and writing is a hobby for me. I have no commercial aspirations at all. If you are looking to make a living out of writing then it probably pays to write for an audience and to know that audience well.

Comment is about Lisa Milligan (poet profile)

Original item by Lisa Milligan

Thanks for paying me a call Lisa - nice to hear from you. I hadn't really thought about tailoring written material to a particular audience. The way I see it, everyone on line has options - they can choose to read your stuff or ignore it. Whether you miss the mark isn't quite so critical, like it is on the stage. If no-one likes your written stuff the only person to suffer is yourself - cos presumably you don't get feedback. If you are performing the wrong stuff on a stage your audience gets bored - you cease to entertain.

Having said that, I've only ever been a member of this poetry site. It fulfilled all my needs and I've been too lazy to look elsewhere. I've heard that on other sites more critical feedback is given. I suppose different sites must attract different types of poet, depending on what they are looking for. I like the social interraction that happens on this site. I find it fascinating the way life around us works its way into our poetry and discussion. We are all living it together - if that makes sense.

Comment is about Lisa Milligan (poet profile)

Original item by Lisa Milligan

Hello you - long time no see! I thought you were supposed to be flogging some books over summer - have you been doing it out the back of your jag? I'm glad to hear that you still have one and that it hasn't been fireballed. Thanks for your pawmark - I always love to read your witticisms! xx

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I thank ye Maam.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Love the line about beating the streets with a windpipe. Powerful stuff. Love the writing style, very different

Comment is about ? (blog)

Aye, very evocative Andy, think the repetition in it works well too

Comment is about My hometown (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Great rhythm to this Ray - packed with images.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

Yup - another excellent piece of writing. Storming along lately!

Beautiful

Comment is about If Women Grew On Trees (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Connected with this - mine consisted of everything I did with my physical body having to be symmetrical, every single action of every second. If I didn't get it 100% symmetrical, those actions would then need to be repeated. Also coughing in a certain way that hit a certain high tone. To be repeated if not hit correctly. Kicked it all into touch around 9 or 10 - occupied so much time and was driving me seriously mental. Like I wasn't already ;)

I absolutely love this Kealan. I also see parallels with observing the self in 3rd person. Kept a diary in 3rd person for years. Gives it that remove, doesn't it?

Comment is about Early Learning (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

blown away!

respect.

S.W.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

brilliantly thought out,

S.W.

Comment is about ? (blog)

no apologies needed Harry.

for me you can repeat this forever!
-beautiful.

my best to you

Stef.

Comment is about (blog)

I seem to get the sense
of being back stabbed reading this.

lovely poem.

thanks.

S.W.

Comment is about Babe in woods (blog)

very, very sad kealan but really enjoyed it..

Comment is about Early Learning (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

excellent, ray... really enjoyed reading this - not sure if it is a good job having two lots of where and while's in the first stanza, but it's a excellent piece certainly.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

hope it goes well, Jeff...

Comment is about Bolton becomes bi-monthly (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Liked this a lot Andy

Could I suggest replacing 'over' peoples hats with 'onto'

great emotion great ending.

Hope you are well

Win X

Comment is about My hometown (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Just been listening to the news about those appearing in court post-rioting.
Mother: He was only caught up in it, he was doing anything, he's only young.
Interviewer: Yes but he did have a hammer strapped to his leg!
Mother: Yes but he's only a kid.

Isobel's right, the parents should all be charged with neglect.

Comment is about The Haves and The Have Nots (blog)

Original item by Isobel

this has a kind of background emotion. though it isn't blatant, you can feel it and it is wonderfully moody.

"leaving me feeling
like i had just kissed chaos."
was especially effective and stays in my mind.

however, "like portals of doom" stays in my mind for the wrong reasons, i don't think it was very effective and it feels out of place with the rest of the poem. just a heads up :)

Comment is about My hometown (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Yes! A little more about...we. Very good words!
With best wishes,
Larisa

Comment is about If being obtuse was an art form it would be called poetry (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Thank you, people. Roger McGough does ads for Waitrose? I didn't know that.
More Midlands than The North, Tone.
I wrote this last winter or maybe even the one before and I only just realised that snow might have a drug related meaning. Not that I ever....
Should I ask about the hairs on the top of your head, Tom?

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

Thanks Anthony & Steve

@Ray I'm half Jamaican so the whole 3rd line is in Patois (where I often end up when less than happy) dutty=dirty.
The first line was added as I was trying to explain the piece's inspiration for the purpose of the Blog post and when I saw it rhymed I and liked the way it scanned I left it in. I think the conversation issue is perhaps a little picky (especially if you want the line to be succinct) but do agree your suggestion is more succinct and may even consider editing. (and now have!) Cheers

Comment is about If being obtuse was an art form it would be called poetry (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

I like the poem, especially I liked
Should I discuss dis cuss, or choose to dash it far from us like some kind of dutty discus in disgust?
"dutty" though?
Also, I'd take issue with the opening line on two counts. It isn't much of a conversation - he's only got one line, though it's a good line!.
And it could be more succinct - A summation of a conversation with a local librarian.

Comment is about If being obtuse was an art form it would be called poetry (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

The hairs stood up on the back of my neck when I read this Ray.
Well captured. Tom Mc.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

"Shameless" literary exploitation of the non-working classes Ray. Wait until they suss out where you live! Made me come over all nostalgic for my northern roots. There, but for a brace of clogs . . . Enjoyed the read,

Regards,

A.E.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

And I echo those sentiments as well, Kealan...
Lately you have delved to a deeper level of consciousness without so much anger, and it is powerful. I knew children like this too, and I have always had an affinity for them - to help in any way I could.

Comment is about Early Learning (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Thank you for commenting on my haiku "Anger".
The scary part is that it describes me too well.

Thanks
Shirley

Comment is about Kath Hewitt (poet profile)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

Hi Mark,

I liked the sentiments you express in this - especially:

"It’s about poet expressing a part of who they are."
"Thereby allowing you and me, an opportunity to see, Something that reveals to us a little more about... we."

Well put!

Regards,

A.E.

Comment is about If being obtuse was an art form it would be called poetry (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Hi Isobel - I was reading what you wrote in your Biography and it struck me that poets wanting others to read their work may need to think about their target audience (the people on each poetry site) and tailor which pieces they post accordingly. Or just realize that some sites have like-minded people that just "don't get" what one has written. I've found that to be true since I've posted on more than one site. Where one group will celebrate you, another will almost ignore you. Ironic, yes?

"Just my thoughts for the day...."

Hope all is well,
Lisa

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hey Debs, Izzie, I'd be up for that!!

Comment is about Join fellow poets for a walk in Ted Hughes' stamping ground (article)

Original item by Julian Jordon

I found this very moving Kealan. I too think your recent work has been interesting and good!

Comment is about Early Learning (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Thanks Ann.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

hello Scott, hope you are keeping well ,I really like this poem.

Comment is about ? (blog)

I am greatly concerned about those who were tipped out of their 'sensible heads' by the stimulus of 'mob mentality'- a once-off, terrible mistake, genuinely out-of-character. It happens.

Comment is about An abstraction of events (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks, Andy, for taking the time to read and comment on "Pink Tulips". If I had to guess, you probably don't think I need a stanza on "heart" AND "soul"....?

In any case, I appreciate what you had to say and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Lisa

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

there are reasons ray, the lower cases are not accidental

Comment is about Early Learning (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Thanks for your contribution David and congratulations on your win. I'm certainly sending off for my copy right now.

Comment is about Welsh Poetry Competition anthology launched (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Think I`ve `rumbled`it!

It`s a `sonorously vehicular`

Should Slvie Rose be read as `Sylvie Rosey`
(or did she touch the brakes?)

What a great `performer`!

Comment is about Eddie (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Call me old - fashioned but why capitalise the beginning of each line then fail to capitalise coady, lustral, ritalin?

"so he leapt" would rhyme with step.

It's "receded". I think to finish on "instead." would be neater.
Enjoyed the poem.

Comment is about Early Learning (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

More excellence from you Ray.

Comment is about I Live Over There (blog)

Well it's gonna have to be Tuesdays or Fridays or Sundays. Tuesdays sound boring to me. Fridays sound more exciting! (Except to Harry of course!)

Comment is about help please :) (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Fridays tend not to be good nights for the pub/mechanics institutes and difficult to ge tpeople out for poetry because there are other distractions available; but, prove us wrong!
there is on other thing that is vitally important to the success of a night. Damned if I can remember what it is.

Comment is about help please :) (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

You didn't use to be in the Boomtown Rats did you Harry? (Oh sorry - that was MONDAYS!);)

Comment is about help please :) (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

just don`t like fridays...pay no noticeto me
....Julian`s told you all the essential stuff

Comment is about help please :) (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove