ditto - great poem

Comment is about Untitled (blog)

you've nailed it Cyn - for example, is Nelson Mandela a statesman or a terrorist ?
depends on who's asking the question & when.
justice is a very elastic concept & in a full analysis there are no such things as "rights" (eg human rights)
well done. B

Comment is about the great fallacy (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I once read that every time you inhale, you breath in 18 molecules that Napoloen once exhaled (it does vary from individual to individual, if you think it through, but I've never done the maths).
aaah, just think, I've probably breathed in Jennifer Lopez's farts & never noticed :)

Comment is about Atoms get around (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I dont know what it is about you - the ones of yours that I'm going to like I nearly always like from the first line or two (like this one) - maybe it's because of the concept behind the story you are telling rather than the specific words - it's a neat & spooky/lonely/longing idea superbly executed - only verse 3 maybe needs a little work, but it'll be well worth the effort for such a poem... best I've read on here in ages.

Comment is about from a distance (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I really like the musical imagery in your poem.

Comment is about Gone Gray (blog)

I think you are maybe right Cynthia. But I think maybe it needs another verse if I cut those two. I'll have a think! (And thanks Dave as well.)

Comment is about from a distance (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

For me, the first verse says it all, a very quotable four lines.

Comment is about The riot of spring (blog)

Original item by Dali

Quite an engaging lament, with some provocative imagery. IMO, perhaps you might tighten it up by scuttling words that just don't need to be here, like 'down' (rain falls only down, where else?) and nearly all the 'and's'. Do you really need sentences with verbs? Repetition should serve a strong purpose and 'worrying' repeated is a tripper instead of a pusher on to the next idea. The final four lines are really lovely.

Comment is about Gone Gray (blog)

Posting like this will not endear you to readers, C Byrne, which is too bad because much of this work is quite interesting. Perhaps you meant to put this collection in the Samples part of your Profile, and you just got mixed up. They would be excellent there. Readers often go to that section to follow up a writer if a poem or two has really interested them. In this arena it is 'socially' understood that only one poem goes in at a time, especially if you would enjoy some feedback. You can catch me on my Profile if you have any questions, or annoyances.

Comment is about Moare Older Poems (1984-2002ish) (blog)

You had this up before, yes? I don't see any difference if I remember it correctly. It's really good. IMO, I would take out 'the' to move the line faster with more punch.

Comment is about War-chest (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

An excellent Heads Up! little poem, Dave. Goodness knows how you selected your list. Clever play on words in your title. I was listening to a radio commentary on this very subject lately, and laughed aloud, more in line with Ann's comment than anything else. But it gave me cause to pause because I'm always in awe of other animals and their individual physical powers. We humans should be so lucky! We have a lot to learn, and to emulate when we can.

Comment is about Atoms get around (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Wow, mate, one of your best; it is terrific! 'Must' is dry and 'mould' is damp, isn't it? And 'must' does relate to 'dry silence'. Still - a thought - since the 'long o' sound picks up both 'boredom' and 'echoes' and runs through the whole poem. I only mention this, since I didn't immediately get 'must'; but it only took a moment to realize, and it is a great word.

Comment is about Thought Mutation (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Ann, I agree with Dave. I do make an extra comment though: I find the mood and setting so evocative from the physical 'distance' idea, with the supporting imagery of the first two and final two stanzas, that I would leave out the 'message in a bottle' and 'talking in hushed tones' verses. For me, the sympathetic power given to the one idea is even greater. The title is excellent.

Comment is about from a distance (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

You use language and pace here really effectively, Ann, to communicate wistfulness and longing, the strength of which is only hinted at. There is a power to understatement - something you clearly understand well.

Comment is about from a distance (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Sorry Ann, my brain cells are being reconstituted with wrinkles in too!

Seriously, I got Grade 5 O Level General Science 43 years ago (Aaaargh) and only know what is there to read in popularising works such as Bill Bryson's. To me, they open up things of wonder.

Comment is about Atoms get around (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I like it, the regretful tone with the lovely last two lines.

Comment is about Untitled (blog)

Hi again, indeed. More thought required I think. Win X

Comment is about Antony Owen (poet profile)

Original item by Antony Owen

Hi Anthony, Re your comment on Portrait of a woman. Constructive comments are so welcome and I agree with this one. Struggled to fathom a better line and came up with "Through your century of frost" but still not sure about it. Thx, Win x

Comment is about Antony Owen (poet profile)

Original item by Antony Owen

Hey! If the body grows a completely new skin every four weeks and a new skeleton every three months, why am I getting wrinkles and why does my hip joint hurt? Answer me that oh scientific one! :)

Comment is about Atoms get around (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

What I wished I could have done was imply that there were glamourous bridesmaids (wearing fascinators - and being fascinators!) lying in wait for the groom. But I couldn't fit it in!

Comment is about fascinators (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hello Dave
Very original way of explaining our commonality. Very enjoyable.
The opening pages of Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" have a mind-focusing way of understanding it too.

Comment is about Atoms get around (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Isobel, thanks for your comments on November (which should actually be October) 1966. It's only nine lines, I know, but it was meant to be also about how pop songs can fasten a moment in your memory (although perhaps not well enough that you can remember the right month). I was playing the Four Tops out in the garage while doing the ironing when I thought of it, having rediscovered my old vinyl singles at the back of a cupboard. Football, like religion, and possibly pop music, is the opium of the people, of course. Indeed, for many, football is a replacement for religion, involving the same senses of obligations, loyalty and duty, blind faith and hope. Yes, faith, hope - but not always too much charity!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

A creative way to get across your message!
So then... How did you decide on the ABC's of atoms?

I would do without the last line though, as it is a given.

Comment is about Atoms get around (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

You wrote better poems at 13 than I wrote at 17. Beautiful.

Comment is about Sunset (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

' I was quite amazed at the bizarre spread, '

' at the bizarre spread '

I feel that that is what comes across strongly in this poem - how difficult this subject is, how contradictory and conflicting the statements about it become are emphasised in your wild placement of words - they seem to jut up against each other as if fighting for room to breathe.

To me, it felt like a forum, with many voices. It's a difficult poem - but then it's a difficult topic, so I would have expected it to 'flow' as much as 'jut' and 'impale' - wonderful stuff!

Comment is about the great fallacy (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

haha! your funniest yet Lynn-loved the ending-might see you there-we,ll play amongst the stars....now who sang that line? (hint)his eyes were blue.c/ya kiddo-Stef.xx

Comment is about Dreamland (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

us oldies might be better off in the ground,the way things are going Lynn-lively limerick! my best to you-Stef.xx

Comment is about Limerick for the Goverment (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Lynn-ta for comment('It goes on')I have left you a reply there regarding your question-love-Stefan.xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

A good poem, hope it's not autobiographical... x

Comment is about Solitary (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Thanks for comment on my limerick, Anthony, you raised a very good point! Lol x

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Lol, good question, Anthony! :)

Comment is about Limerick for the Goverment (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

I enjoyed this - great metaphor.

Comment is about War-chest (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Kenny, such a raw, hurting poem. Hope it's light for you right now. X

Comment is about Solitary (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Very well done, Dave. Very clever and very, very funny. I don't remember it from the Tudor but would absolutely love to hear it performed.

Comment is about Femme Fatale (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

Enjoyed this, Cate. You have captured some old turns of phrase and the accent so well here - reading it you get such a vivid picture of Uncle Ned and how he sounded, although I am sure an audio posting would be good too. X

Comment is about Uncle Ned (blog)

Original item by Cate

Hi Cate, now I know who you are! I shall take the time to have a browse through your postings here! Hope you are enjoying that Gibson guitar of yours. X

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

This was a show-stealer at the Tudor - so funny and so well performed. Wonderful inventive rhymes and some great jokes.

Comment is about It's a King Thing (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

I like the idea of justice as a shape shifter. For me that sums up best what you are saying: there is no one absolute definition of justice that can cut across all faiths, all social groupings, all cultures, all time. Or is there....? Hope the performance went well for you. XXX

Comment is about the great fallacy (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Intriguing - why is the bride pensive I wonder? Lovely images, Ann. XX

Comment is about fascinators (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Like this a lot, Dave. The line "emotion off-line" is very good. I really like questions in poems - it directly challenges and engages the reader. X

Comment is about Free will (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Ohh, fantastic, John. The final line: "moulding your little death" is extremely powerful. I really like your work as the darkness feels real not melodramtic.

Comment is about Alabaster (blog)

Original item by John Darwin

Such a poignant poem, John. So strange the things we keep and what they record. What is it they say, about 2 things you can't avoid in life - death and the taxman! Think I've more old bits of paper to do with filthy lucre than anything else. Find the end of the photos in your poem very sad. But it leaves me pondering as to who and why and this leads the reader (well, me anyway) to make up stories to fill this space. XX

Comment is about memory box (blog)

Christine, loved this poem when you read it at the Tudor. Love it all over again here today. Glad you posted it as it's always good to be able to read over and savour a good poem at leisure. You have caught just the right amount of dark and light in the poem. XXX

Comment is about Me mam (blog)

Original item by christine yates

I love how short, precise and packed with images this poem is. X

Comment is about World Affairs (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

OMG !!! I don't want to just drip drip away but sadly I think i've gone down the plug hole but I have still got the dusty cardboard memory box!!

Comment is about memory box (blog)

Thanks for your comment Anne and I'm glad you find my latest stuff more acessible.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Anthony

Thanks for your comments on my poem I appreciate your reaction to it.

You asked if my book is available online
and yes they are, my latest is on www.pighog.co.uk and it is called The Dreaded Boy.

My first collection is online too or you can email me at antony.owen@hotmail.co.uk

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

thanks got your comment dave

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Lynn,

How did you manage to resist a rhyme with "bankers?" :)

Regards,

A.E.

Comment is about Limerick for the Goverment (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Tommy,

Like Isobel says, there's education and there's education. Methinks you're doing fine - we probably share similar libraries.

Regards,

A.E.

Comment is about War-chest (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll