I liked especially 'cute as a muffin top' and the implications in stanza 2 - nicely done

Comment is about plump blond girl (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thank you Dave, Stef and Rachael. :)

Yes Isobel, Benji is our little terrier, or the hairy man in this poem. Thank you for comment,glad you like it. Funnily enough, in my case I started out with comic verse, and the serious stuff was branching out for me!

Comment is about Sharing (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

I love the opening line. If poems were football teams I would be putting a bid in for it

Comment is about Santa (blog)

Gorgeous!

Comment is about Gaudete (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Blondes have more fun, they say. Perhaps plump blondes have twice the fun! I like it.

Comment is about plump blond girl (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I think this is magnificent, John. It's Northern English social history in a nutshell. No nonsense northern grit! Beautifully written and spoken. A gem, in my view.

Comment is about Colliers and Kids (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

This is lovely, Carole.

Comment is about Kissed (blog)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Is Benji the hairy man?

I love the humour in this Lynn - branching out from serious stuff is wonderful but so hard to do sometimes. We are such a miserable bunch of bastards by nature...

Comment is about Sharing (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Benji deserves that footstool :) lovely hehe x

Comment is about Sharing (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Santa Claus? How about Father Christmas, his real name! Or even Saint Nicholas? (If he is a saint, he must come down from heaven every year to do the deliveries, rather than live in a shack at the North Pole as is popularly believed. (I like the poem, by the way!! I see the loss of innocence theme)

Comment is about Santa (blog)

everytime that Lynn comes in,Benji,s on the footstool-get a bone n tempt him off-or put on ravels bolero!-the cheek of that bowser-taking over the Dye household-good one Benj boy! warm regards to all there-Stef.xx

Comment is about Sharing (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

hi Lynn-thanks for bunion news-alls fine-apart from my home 'hub' goin hoff in a huff-the bt man cometh-soon I Hope! sending this from daughters house-thanks for concern-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Delightfully saucy, think that may work for me on occasions, lol.
Thank you John also for your lovely comments on my ghazal. x

Comment is about Triolet de la Petite Mort (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Hi Win, belated thank you for lovely comments on my ghazal, not easy, are they, lol. x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Dave, thank you so much for lovely comments on my ghazal and for "Sharing" - ouch is right! lol.
Love your shopping ghazal too, it is excellent! x

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Ann, thank you for such lovely comments on my poems, and concern for my foot, I think it's slowly healing. Hope you are getting over the sniffles by now. Take care. Lynn xx
(P.S. my sister lives in Hayle - are you anywhere near her?)
P.P.S. Love your Ruby Slippers! xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Liked this a lot Ray - love how you change the perspective into it being you/Santa :)

That's a sad story there Isobel, must be so weird to spend xmas without your kid.

My lass still remembers how she found out about father christmas. I'd been doing the tooth fairy thing, took the tooth out from under the pillow and put it on the bedside table, put the coin under the pillow, and forgot the tooth! She confronted me with it next morning (aged 7) and said 'does this mean that you were lying about father christmas too?'!!! Busted!

Comment is about Santa (blog)

PS No-one outgrows stockings in my house - they are forced to have them - nuts they don't crack - tangerines that go mushy - nasty reindeeers that shit chocolate raisins - it's all about tradition!

Comment is about Santa (blog)

I'm glad to see you back too. I feared you may end up in Wolverhampton.
It has ocurred to me that this is probably the last year that my youngest will still believe in Santa and as she isn't spending Christmas with me, that is sad.
You cover a lot in here - the loss of all that innocence and wonder is a tough one for parents. More so observing the differences between present youth and what we used to be. I enjoyed this poem - though it's a little sad. Great finishing line. x

Comment is about Santa (blog)

Beautiful a cappella and beautifully written, too. Also like the painting! Brings colour, musically, lyrically and visually on this dank day.

Comment is about Seasons left behind (blog)

Hi Dave - thanks for your comments. I accept that some of the stuff i may put up causes some disagreement and even consternation, but at the end of the day it's only a point of view so hopefully no-one takes it personally. I thought your comments were very balanced and respectful considering you might disagree with some of the substance of the poem.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Steve - thanks for your comments. I'll hopefully get a chance to read some of yours and others' poems later today (at work!)

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Thanks, Greg. A win over the Baggies doesn't quite compensate losing to the Blues, though.Good to be back.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Nice one Lynn. Bunion op....ouch!

Comment is about Sharing (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Andy No need to apologise! Yesterday, I had to ask the window cleaner for his name again - I just can't ever remember it! It's Jason by the way.

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

hi dave; - god knows why i called john on my comment on your piece, but it's still a really good piece.

apologises again..

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

As always, very heartfelt...
You are not alone.

xx

Comment is about untitled (blog)

LOL
Mmmm... maybe ; )

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

You do 'bah, humbug' very well, Ray. I like "I spent years perfecting these stories" and "the world gets paler every winter", despite all the fairy lights. Musical moments include shape-shifter, closed-circuit TV camera, celebrity culture. Good stuff. Good to see you back here too. I'm sure it's just coincidence that Villa beat the Baggies at the weekend...

Comment is about Santa (blog)

Hey Gus, thanks for the feedback on Forbidden Fruit...glad you liked it.

Hopefuly catch you at an upcoming event in the New Year, be it Bolton, Middleton or Wigan.

Have a lovely Christmas

My Best

Chris

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hello Alison. Middle couplet is very good. Like Steve I wasn't so impressed by the last couplet.I think you'd improve the rhythm by using Christmas instead of Nativity and wouldn't "Joan had sex, whilst drunk, with Gordon" be more natural?

Comment is about 42nd Noel (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

I think you may be right I'm veering towards 'white fellas' without italics. The trouble is I write about a lot of foreign stuff and use a lot of foreign terms. It is often hard to know where to draw the line between words that are still foreign or have actually become naturalized. I also seem to be doing a lot of stuff these days that could be termed 'reportage' - which I have no problem with (I'm a big Auden fan) although some people don't seem to keen. In that context 'fellas' might be better and not so melodramatic. Its slightly dismissive tone is also a wry comment on white supremacy.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Greg - the feedback much appreciated and I hope the festivities go well for you and family this Christmas

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

To be honest, I prefer "white fellas", David. For me, it has the ring of the here and now, and I recognised it at once. I could hear it being said, in a sort of growl. But maybe white devils would be a more powerful contrast and make the same point more forcefully. As far as italics are concerned, we italicise foreign words and phrases that haven't become Anglicised. You could argue either way on white fellas! I enjoyed it very much. I bought a couple of CDs of Aboriginal music while I was out there. Very atmospheric. But my wife can't bear to listen to them! She doesn't mind the Australian birdsong CD so much.

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

Hi Greg Thanks for insightful comments. I do sometimes wonder if I overdo italics and in fact I'm toying with the idea of changing it to 'white devils' - It might seem OTT at first glance, but the aboriginals did think the colonists were devils when they first came across them (as late as 1964! according to an article I've read recently.) I was thinking also it might be quite a powerful twist on the 'white is beautiful' theme that comes across in the first stanza. What you reckon?

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Oops, rather a belated thank you by now, but no less felt, to everyone for such lovely comments.

Comment is about Ghazal (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

HI Andy Thanks for the feedback on my lighthouse poem. Glad you liked it. By the way, my name's David!

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for the tips, corrections and comments! And also thanks to anyone who voted for this one. Thom

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

Hi Steve

Cheers for your comment on Blood. See your points, but as it's a haiku, the 'cold air' is there to represent a season. I could lose the 'the' on that line by using something like 'frozen' instead - something that would give me the two syllables lost with 'the cold'.

Course, I could just rewrite whole sections of it and change it from a haiku to a 'normal' poem. Am intending to rewrite a few of them anyway :)

Cheers again

Comment is about garside (poet profile)

Original item by garside

bit of a change in style for you, Georgine in the terms of structure and i think it suits you actually.. would defo like to see experiment writing more in this way... nice one xxx

Comment is about Untitled. (blog)

Congrats on winning the Space competition with this. Well deserved imo.

Comment is about Too Much Space, Too Much Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

i am working on scriptwriting workshops for young adults at the moment. i have read your actors cv and wondered if you would be interested in collaborating on the project? where are you based?
would be great to chat about this x

Comment is about Alain English (poet profile)

Original item by Alain English

sounds good.
i haver an essay on joseph beuys; outsider art if you are interested Ill root it out :)

Comment is about Art By Offenders (blog)

Original item by Alain English

I like this a lot, Georgina... I know what you mean.
'You had me at hello' is from the film 'Jerry Maguire'...

As a title, perhaps 'Lovely to meet you'

Comment is about Untitled. (blog)

i don't really know that film, might watch it. the last two lines are important to me to be honest...thank you i'm stuck on a title xx

Comment is about Untitled. (blog)

Hi Steven ,

posted up a link to some of my poems with synbols we were talking about at the Big Weekend, thought you might be interested. Win

http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=17830

Comment is about Steven Waling (poet profile)

Original item by Steven Waling

hi..thanks for the comment on just for fun..so pleased you did for i have enjoyed reading your stuff too.. :o)

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

Lovely - don't you think it really deserves a title though? all the best. B

Comment is about Untitled. (blog)

Hi Steve - thanks for commenting on the Abbey Road poem - line markers do make a difference don't they much obliged for that - just checked out your recent one 'Untitled' and saw how well it works there - read your biog too -awesome

Comment is about garside (poet profile)

Original item by garside

the ending seems sleepless in Seattle or some such film

i do like the disjointed narrative between second and third lines

i think this has potential; but i would move forward with only the first 3 maybe 4 lines

Comment is about Untitled. (blog)