I feel like I'm here all alone
There's people here beside me
I know they don't love me
I'm just a wallflower listening to the conversations

If I fade into my mind I'll find hate
Not for anyone here but just myself
I'm in the city of drug addicts
Broken and all alone 

I've overdosed myself on love
Now I'm paying that the price in blood
I could get addicted to drugs  
That wouldn't fi...

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True pain is a collective of thoughts
That you cannot forget
With that the lack of motivation to better yourself
Is heavy like an anchor your sink to the bottom
Only there you can find true happiness
Don't get me wrong it's years of being down there 
The melancholy had a invulnerable hold to my trepid body
Pruned and brittle to the thoughts to my head
Only to remind myself that I was doing...

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Your a cosmic space boy floating in the infinite
At the same time you're in a coffee shop
Waiting for her to get finish dressed
As a smile overcomes your face
She's nothing like ex's she's everything you wanted

You can imagine cold brew coffee 
In the morning with her and always bringing her breakfast
These are thoughts that has happened
They are not present day anymore

Nowadays you'r...

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This is the longest I've been single
I'm scared of dying alone
I can't move on I have to wait for her
Not because of a promise
She's the only one has ever motivated me

She makes me want to be a better man
With her beside me I can face the world
So I'll wait for her even if she doesn't come back
At least I can say I truly love someone and was truly faithful to her

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Look at me 
I don't know myself at all
When I sleep I dream of you

Look at me 
Self harming again like it's all okay
Don't hold it against me but I hate myself

Look at me 
She's too good for me
I'm a nobody going nowhere

Look at you 
So unaware of how beautiful you are
When you sleep do you dream of me?

Because I dream of you all the time
You are my Firefly my hope for a bette...

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I'm an antisocial pessimist
Missing an antidote with a face of an angel 
You can tell all your friends that you killed a boy

I'm still stuck in the past
I wanted us to last
You found another man 
My heart broke like glass

So you'll find the metaphor in the words I'm saying
I'll play my heart like a violin until the strings break
I was playing the music for you this whole time
So why ...

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The lack of passion in my voice today
Has rattled the bones of my ancestors
So if I drown myself in these awful thoughts
I don't think the vivid colors can tell stories
When your seeing them from a blind man's eyes

Even in the deepest dry wells
I've been trying to drown myself
Thinking of you in a evening gown
So put the water gun in my mouth and let's commit watercolors

Would I be a ...

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It's a cold rainy day in hell
Two feet under my bed 
Where time finds a way to stop
I have a fear I'll start self-harming again

Then my demon start yelling at me
I know that I could fall back into that deep end
All these razor blades are full of dry blood now
I suppress the feel to self-herm 

I just got to remind myself
There was a time that I didn't want it
You were the door that I ...

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You can't tell me a sad waiting story 
When I wrote the book on it
Do you know how long
I've been here waiting on her
It feels like forever but I could wait longer
Just come back before I'm old and lose all my teeth
My friends tell me that I'm making a mistake
I don't give a damn I know who I love
I'll fight for her until the day I die

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I miss the days when I actually enjoyed living
Now there is a haze of loneliness
Gasping for air is not an option anymore
I kind of feel like I wanna be alone all my life
I still need you so please don't go away

Why don't you just go find some other girl who won't hurt you?
Because I love you. -No Strings Attached
Related with this thing so much I started crying.

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Twinkle twinkle little star
I've relapsed again and the blood is all I have left
I know I could wreck a car
My mind's been aching with stress
This melancholy has an apathy over me
I've been drowning myself in Smirnoff
I may go far in life but your always be my forever 
That's what mostly kills me inside
I'll never be your forever and only 
I'm just a boy who loves you the most
P.S. Ex So...

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You've kept your distance
I've kept my promise to you
Home is another place we can't go
So you can deny your feelings
I'll keep giving you sweet words 
That has you second-guessing
I know it seems purposely malicious
I never wanted any harm to you
Can you please not let me wait till the end
Home is another place we can't go
So bury the kisses in the backyard
I'll finish off the liquor

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I'm really sleepy but in my sleepiness
All I can think about is her and how much I miss her
I may not know where I'm going
What I do know is I found love in her eyes
In this cafe for two 
I'm the only one with lonely eyes missing you
So I may be broken, some would say I'm shattered
I'll always wait for you I promise you that
The one thing I know about a firefly is
They love coffee and I a...

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Can you give me a reason 
To call this paranoia not theories I'm made in head
I swear to any God that you believe in
I've been like this for as long as I can remember
Don't hug me I'm afraid of human attachment
No one should love me 
I've been doing awful things to everyone who's loved me

Swear I need to fix my broken mind
How can I fix things that I didn't break
It's all my fault I let...

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Has the cold winter air pierced through my body
With thoughts choking on you
My body becomes numb 
The memories of you come flooding in
Boards under my feet start to crackle
The pressure of your memories flooding my apartment
Like a child getting hurt for the first time the pain is unbearable
I could lock myself in the bathroom but the pain is still there
There's no running from the dire s...

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Give me another screwdriver
I envision you in front of me
A smile comes across my face
My love I'll give you everything I have
Just so I could wake up and see you there
I smell the liquor on your breath it's intoxicating
The reality is life has dealt me a cruel existence
When I wake up I'll be without you and last night was just in my head

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He was suicidal from the day you came in this world
Something happened when he met her
He wanted to start his life and give her something more
Now she's gone and he's wishing for death

He stabbed himself to feel something
More than a gaping hole in his heart
The agony has him falling over his feet
Drink some more it's not going to fix the situation
Everyone whispers behind his back
They...

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I can never understand how you lie to me
Then you acted like it's all okay
I tried to always be there for you
You treated me like I wasn't good enough
I still love you and that's the worst part of this
You did so many things I was still faithful
I'm a broken Soul that's always crying now

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The sweet embrace of your bones on me
Has me thinking of death and decay
There's no King to the lighter this no source to the light
So they talked about how it become delighted
How I lost it in the same season

There was love from me 
There's no desire for you to keep it up
So pour the gasoline on the bridge
Light it on fire but I'll keep building it

I've been trying to hide my desires
...

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I found a picture of the hickey I left on your neck
I was always leaving them there
To make every guy know that you were my girl
That summer was the greatest of my life
Now a head full of heartbreak is what I have left
That new year I overdosed on pills 
My body wildly convulsing on the bathroom floor
200 Cuts and a broken rib later I still love you as much as I did then

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Everyone thinks I'm so depressed
Yes it's true I struggle with depression everyday
I don't do good in social environments
No one ever took the time to get to know me
Thank you dad for raising your son

Tori taught me not to plan anything
Firefly taught me patience
Emily taught how to have a backbone
April taught me love Rip little lady 

Right now I'm trying to figure out what 
I want ...

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I tried to sell my soul but I was already Hell bound
So don't be sad that I'm not coming home
I remember sweet chopstick and blood on your lips
Does he write music like I do?

Can you imagine if I actually tried it?
I told you I could get out of this town if I wanted
I'm just good drowning all alone here
I don't blame you for leaving
Even if I miss your kisses

I just worry about you is...

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I made an oath in until I die I'll stick to it
Even if I have to drag my limp body through this existence
I'll always be here when you need me
I promised you forever until the end
So kick me make me feel like shit if it makes you happy
Don't talk to me for months and months and make me worry about you 24/7
I haven't missed a night telling you goodnight beautiful
I may be losing time and my ...

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Hi, I’m sad. What’s your name?
I don’t know what it’s like to not feel broken and alone
even my soul is tired
I’m not trying to be difficult I swear
Why do I and people I love pick people that treat us like we’re nothing?

It keeps getting stronger and growing like a virus with no cure it’s unstoppable
What if I never love again?
Sleeping is the only thing that can make me feel happiness
...

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Oh Space Cowboy you are home
Mother has missed you so much
It was Mother's void that pulled you back here
You no longer have to shoot your way to victory
Mother is only love from the sea 
Just talk to the man from the lighthouse 
Always waiting for love 

The Sleeper has buried himself 
Into the core of the Earth
Fascinating letters from above
Also time assuming you'll find in love
So ...

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Drifting through life 
In a empty husk of a body
The soul was made from religion
Don't let them know that I need 
Her like a body need water

Smile I'm leaking out love
If I'm not good enough for you
Then I'll cut my body from oxygen
Please stop torturing me 
Your my symphony I've been work on for years 

I wouldn't bother you if my love was a lie
Don't take cloudy moons over clear vo...

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Has time flows into death's hold over you
The innocence of your life start to show
Yesterday is something you can't have back
The moments that happen then it's just that
The most beautiful lies is death is your enemy
Without it there is no life to treasure
There is no love, no hope and no life 
Death is the end of the adventure

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You talk so cold and precise
Verbally I can't express myself
Body language alone would tell you I'm a nervous mess
So can I extract my dirty secrets to you?
Just for you can stab me in the back

I should have known better
Did the predictable thing and fell over heels
Tell the mortgage cremate my body
When the Equinox comes for me
She defines hope in my eyes

Please keep the tone of you...

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How much longer do I have here
In the name of love 
The road is stone cold
I've been bashing my knees on 
Grey skies and blood moons

Sapphire blue eyes in my nightmares
They fade from existence
A bottle of liquor can change your life forever
Who would think biennium and a whole lot of bad decisions
Has left me here believing in nothing good 

How much longer do I have here
Until my m...

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Sitting in a bathtub full of pinkish water 
A razor blade in one hand
A head full of excuses in the other hand
This is nothing new you have been like this since birth
They told you life would get better but your 20 something
Thinking about suicide how much easier it would be
Remember when I told you things would get better
This is being mentally ill before you knew what it was
Runaway from...

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It's been two years 
Since I could say 
I was truly happy
Two days we slept away 
In each other's hands
Is just a memory of my happy ending
I had my chance to die happy
I decided to live for her
No lying there's a part of me that gave up
I should leave this life behind and focus on death
I have 1 year and 10 months left 
When you look back you 
Just know I loved you  
I waited until t...

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I lost my shadow and you can't
You can't love me 
You can't hold me 
You can't feel my lips
You can't be with me
That means I can't 
I can't wipe your tears away
I can't hold you 
I can't be anything but transparent
I told you love always will
Sometime it's a word away form the sea
You're not coming back in a boat
So why am I waiting in a lighthouse
I promise I'll be here when you com...

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Love is equal to drowning yourself in tar
I'll take another drag from
I may never win your heart back if I quit 
I'll keep taking my drags until it shows you I love you

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I'm someone I actually like when I was with you
I miss you but I'm drowning now
Under the waves where the air can't reach
I was a mess when you found me

There's no recovery from the first relapse
I love you too much to let you think
That I can live without you

If I could only medicate the love that you gave me
How did I get out so far
There's no medication for this love
When I'm with...

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Build your kingdom walls high and thick
Tell yourself what you're doing is Justified
Your words were bullets piercing through the skin
You left like his mother and lied to him
He made promises just to keep them forever 
Promises are actions you can't break

He's going nowhere honestly
He's broke and drinking himself to death
So take him away from this broken mindset
He's not a nice guy b...

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Shake your ass in Crystal City
Show some love to your crystal pipe
Then put it back in the garden cause love is a freak
Lady Death is doing it in the next room
Mr. Depression was your lover so Crystal Clear

She's smoking crystal meth
So he calling her Kristy
She wants a name change
But she's no Bruce Lee 

She doesn't love you 
She loves the money that you gave her
So watch the windm...

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I should let go of this bleak situation
Drift away from all that I say
Don't hold me to this
This is my ugly side the most vile thing about me

I should try to recompose myself
My mind's out racing common sense
Air is getting harder to inhale
My words aren't coming out right

I need to get my feet on the ground
Before the ceiling swallows me whole
Lost in a panic over nothing important
...

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I can't explain how I feel
There's something inside me 
You can never remove
The need of hearing you talk about your day
You was my entire world now I'm broken into pieces

I once was a wall but now 
I'm hoping and waiting for you
You may never come back but I'll always love
You deserve at least one guy that's faithful to you

I don't want to be hopelessly depressed
I want to get lost ...

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How can I win the fight?
When I want to close my eyes forever
Time is so heavy I don't want to be alone
My thoughts are death sentence in situations like this

I should stop talking to myself in public
I swear there was someone there
If you catch me outside please don't look hatefully
My personality is eroding into slime
I live in melancholy land where nothing is exciting

How did I get...

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One day I'll be an app that life deleted
Until then I will try to inspire people
I only have a few moments on this Earth
So I'll show love to my enemies be happy for their success

We live in a world where racism is normal 
(What a shame)
Democrats and Republicans our just the names
The hatred between both of them to start flame
We only want to blame each other for nowadays
We're all hum...

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In September I felt like the Twin Towers
Firefly how could you be so mean to your Sour Patch Kid
I know I wasn't the type to bring home flowers
I spent every hour of my day worried about you
Now I'm back to my old Wallflower days
Melancholy feels like a cold shower I'm becoming numb to everything

I really need to fix myself
I really need to fix myself
I really need to fix myself before I...

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I was 21 when you found me
Depressed and begging for death
You cured me and  give me a reason to leave my bed
I was 21 when you found me
You broke my heart at the age of 22

I've been waiting here for you to come back home
You gave me a reason to live
If you come back home I want to hear all your stories
I told you forever so I'll wait for you 
Even you never come back I'll wait here for...

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We're all machines wandering dreadfully
The lack of expression on our faces
Proof there's no free will only a grinding ideas
So cut the bad out of your life where it lies more will grow

The Christian will always hate 
What they do not understand
The outcasts will always love
The devil just means god 

Us as humans don't deserve anything
We're not promised a great life
The only thing i...

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I can't find a reason to live
It's scaring me I'm off my pills
I go on long walks to listen the cars pass
I forced a smile on my face and they all thought it was real
If I died today no one would miss me
I don't want to fight my depression anymore
I think I'm finally giving up and scares me
I don't talk shit behind anyone's back 
I know how much that shit hurts
Ignore me would tell me to ...

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Don't look at me for help 
Nowadays I don't leave the house
Do you want a recap of my anxiety
I only write about what I know
I haven't lied since 2016

So let me tell you how 
I won't be anything you love
You'll get tired of me being over emotional
I've been abused and cheated on 
More times than I can count

Tell a hopeless joke I read off the internet
Now I got a whole room laughing
...

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I have this razor blade and you have him
I'll never be anything more then this addicted 
You want words of wisdom I don't have them anymore 
It took two years for me to become jaded two more and I'll be dead
I'm not a sad clown anymore I'm just fucking sad
I walked in traffic yesterday but no one wanted to hit me
There's no happy ending for people like me
I'm letting this broken heart kill ...

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Could you please tell me 
The silver lining behind all this
I've been looking for a remedy
My heart so broken missing you
I don't know where I belong

The memory of you is growing cold
Just want to know where I belong
Without you I don't feel comfortable
I feel like everyone wants me dead
This autumn had me at my worst

When You're Gone
There's no place to call home
My heart is getti...

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I wish I could start acting my age 
I wish I had more self-confidence
Everyone I went to HighSchool with has a family 
I'm here trying to further a career that's going nowhere
If happiness is a hike worth walking for
Then we should invest in some hiking boots
Where do I go when I'm sinking into the sadness
Because I'll never be able to afford happiness
I don't think there's a cure for a br...

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Ladies and gentlemen 
Self-destruction over such a pretty little face
What a way to go into the unknown
With her face tattooed to my brain
I'm drowning in the tar of memories that she gave me

I know I should get it off my feet again
She's such a beautiful angel that can cripple anyone
I've become the alcoholic and all alone
Just like you was when I first met you
Little lady I need a jum...

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Melancholy season got 
My nose all bloody again
Infatuated with my own death
I've been drinking eggnog with rum
I threw up the first time 

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If you cannot admit that that's you
Then how can you ever heal yourself 
When you share it they say your attention-seeking
So no wonder no one wants to come out
They go to drugs instead to fill that hole of sorrow

Find someone who loves you
That's hard to do when everyone's out to get you
People like us believe everything our mind tells us

Have a couple hundred panic attacks 
That fee...

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Recently I just want to be left alone
Hopefully they all forget about me
I'll get addicted to self-harming again
Bleed out that way you don't have to deal with me
I don't blame anyone if they want to hate me

I think I drink way too much
I've been feeling like 2015 me
I don't want my medicine being a razor blade
I can't keep a job anymore
I'm giving up my social anxiety

I tried to wri...

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I

found

myself

all

alone

with

my

suicidal

thoughts

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He fractured his mind
With the thoughts of recovery
Bursting with missiles not caring where they head
Grandeur is not a word you can use for depression
It is putrid, vile and unloving with a touch of malice

Who needs a good reputation 
When you're going to hell
Promise me If I lose the war 
You'll put me down like my name is Old Yeller

I know we used to be Space Cowboys
But that seem...

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I should know better that life is not fair
so I wipe my own tears this time
I have to grow up and stop acting like a child
I love you and I hope there's an afterlife for you

You told me that I would find someone 
That actually loves me and I should 
Stop using woman fill the hole that she left
You was my best friend you told me 
April would be pissed off at me if she seen me
Now I'm in ...

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The weather is getting colder
I'm here thinking about how my life's a wreck
You will forget me I'll be nothing but a hazy memory
Have I talked enough about the situation
You're getting ready to have a family
I'm counting down the days til I go away

My heart still shattered
I'm starting to feel like the Mad Hatter
I've been working on this goddamn letter
But it's like an open wound that ...

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All these other rappers are talking about 
How much bread they make
But I just bought a loaf for $0.75

I could call women a bitch like everyone else
I would deserve stitches if I use that word
I'm not that rich I'm pretty poor
I'm 8 inches of nothing but average
I deserve a ditch for the last line
Think I'll go twitch live and break something
I should probably switch my flow up now

A...

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Thought I found away 
Thought I found away to  
Make peace with my demons
There's always an empty hole what you left

I never said I'd be okay
Without you holding me close 
Can you please keep your promise to me
I've been broken before
So please, please don't hurt me anymore

I've been crying in this room of heartbreak
There's no recovering from this illness
Overdose on melancholy it'...

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Please don't go I need love
This hell doesn't show any
Even if takes a thousand years 
I'll prove that I love you

I've tried to grow into someone that you could love
Time will always make more wounds
My mind's turning into dust
Here's no situation where I end up on top

Skin and bones and fragile to the touch
Don't break the glass around my heart
She's gone and time is lost now
I'm a...

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You told me that you needed space
Then you started dating my best friend
That day I lose you I wanted to die
Damn you was my everything 

That November you cuddled me for 2 days and slept like a baby on my chest
I don't understand if that comfortable with me
Why the hell did you leave me
Don't use the excuse that I'm too good for you
Because without you there's no me just a hollow shell

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Burn your pictures of a happy family
Fathers smoking weed in the basement
Mom is too nervous to eat ice cream
There's no American Dream just misery
Snip, snip for beauty and true love

Smile it's a lovely day outside
Don't you hear the kids melting enjoy
So love God and love this nation
It's a beautiful day to be rich

They kick the homeless off the street
Call the streets beautiful be...

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Can we slow it down 
I don't think I'll be around 
This ghost town is slowly eating at me
The flowers don't grow right anymore

Do you love me or am I desperate to die alone
I got a pack of squares and a rod to my brain
My trigger finger is feeling happy again
Am I too close to caving in for your comfort

I was so depressed and hopeless
You still didn't come to save me
I was a hostage ...

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So I'll sew my eyelids shut
So I don't have to be reminded of us
Lately I've been distant from everything
I've been trying to make these people laugh 
I'm crying too much so my words are coming out mumbled

If I crash my car into the tree by your mom's house
Would you hold it against me
If I come up to the door knocking asking if your home

20 something years and I'm still depressed
Cou...

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Money is a lie that the government owes you
Sit there and listen to all the bullshit that they tell you
It's a shame when the lies become the truth 
So what's use the youth to get them high
Just for rich can a diet them 
Into a prison that doesn't love them

We live in a government that citizens isn't loved
So blame it on the poor and the welfare checks
Then go brag about your bread but y...

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This is the story of a boy that lived in Crystal City
His name is Julian he was a good kid before prescription drugs got to him
Julian told the doctor he wanted to kill himself
She gave him all these medications
Now his nose is bleeding from the xanax
He's addicted to it and now he's trying meth

Now he's fading in and out on the couch
His doctor canceled his medical prescriptions
Now we ...

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I see a face in the rain
I'm not gonna be here for much longing
Make sure my father doesn't kill himself
I know he's going to go insane when I'm gone
Where did all the time go
I broke my skin again 
I didn't do it for 6 months
Now I'm covered in blood again
I'm sorry, I'm trying  
I don't have a reason to do better
I care I just can't show it when you in front of me
I'm mumbled mess try...

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Fuck Crystal City
Stop saying they had a hard life
Bitch you're the one who decided to do the needle
Never forget it you did it to yourself
You don't want to do the green
Because you're addicted to crystals

I don't want anything to do with you kids
Grow up and go to drug rehab
One day the city will get its name back
Until then it will be Crystal City

Just listen to the lyrics you'll ...

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Grew up in Crystal city 
Where the cops did her
And everyone on her looked like zombies
Me and my friends made fun of them 
Until they got addicted to her 

I am better then Crystal city 
So who needs this shit 
I am going into the lane of victory
Drug free is victory
So let's keep that way 

We'er better then this city 
We'er better then this city 
Victory drug free victory drug fre...

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It's officially two years today
Since I became the hollow shell of a man
Things never get better in time
So don't fall for that trap
Learn to cope with the pain but it's always there
Catch the world in a different light
It's still the same world

You'll have depression for as long as you live
The pills might make you feel better
As soon as you're out it's back
So don't lie to yourself a...

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Call it what you want but I don't give a damn
A generation of misfits a generation of addicted to drugs
We watched our parents work day in and day out for nothing at all

So call it what you want it was selfish and we're done with your games
They worked all night and day to rent a house
I'm sorry but there's something messed up in that sentence

So call it what you want drugs to stay numb ...

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Told myself deep down that you would never win
All this time you had me at checkmate and I didn't even know it
So mother kick me again I like the way the pain feels
All I wanted was a family but I doubt I'll ever have it
Mother you wanted me miserable well you win

Remember the night that you gave me the knife
You told me to cut you out of me I'll die before that happens
But you're wrong I...

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I was sixteen and grieving
On a cool day of autumn
I was waiting for you to come get birthday pancakes
But you never showed up 
You never showed up

Sorry but I hate you for leaving me here alone
They found your body in a lake
It was my birthday and they took you from me
I am sorry my love

A gunshot in your head
The last time I seen you
You were taking my innocence away
Does anyone ...

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Autumn has never been this cold
I can't think of anything to say now
I'm running out of reasons to stay on this Earth
I hope the falling leaves remind you of me
Self-mutilation doesn't help anymore

How could you leave me so broken and say you cared
I dream of ending my existence
You realize that I was the one I'll be too late
I'll be 6 feet under the soil

When you imagine me do you im...

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It's like clockwork how my heart misses you
I'm letting these February blues 
Take me off under the ice
Your hugs are better at warming my soul
Than hot chocolate and a quilt so why did you let go?

December was more like depressed on eggnog 
I've never felt so much pain in my life 
It's been here for 2 years straight
I don't think it's leaving anytime soon

December was more like depre...

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I've been looking for the right thing to say
You're the most beautiful lady I've ever seen
I know you won't be home anytime soon

The consistency of the way I tell you goodnight 
Has you thinking it's just a hobby for me
The truth is there's love in every word I send you

Just remember I only have one heart and I gave it to you
I promise to stay loyal to you so please come home soon
Plea...

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[Verse 1:]
I can't be leaning on anyone
When I still have love for you
I thought I knew better than this
Then falling in love with you 
Because you break my heart 
you break me heart

[Hook:]
I'm trying to get through to her
I still have love for her 
I'm trying to get through to her
I still have love for her

[Verse 2:]
I can perform magic with you
I can perform lust with you
I d...

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Firefly I miss you
Firefly can we watch Rock & Rule
Just lay by me and hold my hand 
Firefly I'm losing my mind

Firefly I got a bottle of vodka
I don't want to drink it without you
Will you be my Touka?
I'll be your Ken Kaneki I promise I'll always protect you

I'm barely human anyway
I've been chewing on my pinky lately and blacking out
I know he misses his darling his sugar plum
So...

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Cigarettes and vinegar
With the raunchy taste of blood
I'm the consequences that you'll regret in the morning
So plead your fifth as you forgive my face

You will never forget what you've did to me
How could you bury me inside these four walls?
You're all alone with a ghost that you've made
How's it feel to know that you can't leave what you've done?

Do you believe that God can forgive ...

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Can you please stop
The words in my head is drowning me
The skin clings to the bone
I just want to breathe

As everyone's judgmental eyes on me
I burst into tears there has to be a way out of this alive
Why was I created so flawed
My worth is not existing

Before you get a chance to speak sense to me
My anxiety panic mind wants to end it all
I miss the loving light that you gave me
No...

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One year and 12 months that's all I have left on this Earth
The closest thing to home
That I've ever felt in the last two years
Was a rubber around my neck

I don't love a soul I swear to it
Fuck I lied again 
I told my friends I'm going out like Robin Williams
I've been suicidal since I was 14

I go through a pack of menthols a day
Their self care in the way I live now
Blasting now no...

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I lost myself somewhere in between
The longboard in the road beneath me
For a second there I was floating in the sky
The blood-stained Supernova rushed into my thoughts

So where are you when I was getting high
Because somewhere in this vodka bottle
There has to be the answer I'm looking for
It just may take a few thousand bottles before I get there though

So what's going to kill me fir...

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[intro:]
I'm stuck in this pink room
I don't think I'll ever make it out
Depressed and lonely talking to four walls
What a shit way to start a song

[Verse 1:]
I'm fishing for compliments
They're not giving me any
Look God I've been praying 
I don't think it's working
I know you can't have a funeral without fun

[Hook:]
So if I die before I wake
Just laugh because that's all I wante...

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Please look at me
All my feelings for you have never left
I remember you falling asleep in my arms being complete
I still have your straightener  
In my tote where I keep all of the things of yours
I miss waking in your arms feeling happy
Thinking about you make tears fall out my eyes
I'm sorry that I'm weak when it comes to you
If I was your Sour Patch Kids
Why couldn't you handle the so...

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I swear that my mind's going to be the death of me
I can't go anywhere where other people are at
Without having to walk the other way
This social anxiety is a terrible fate

I take prescriptions but they're not working anymore
Had someone asked me if I was okay
Ended up crying for 3 hours straight
Everyone still wants me to get a job

I wish I could I wish I wasn't so fucked up
My brain...

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Dear Firefly princess there's no words to explain how much you mean to me
I just miss you and I know I shouldn't cry about it but I do I just my heart aches
I know my heart is getting worse I wake up in pain every night now
I can barely keep food down anymore I'm so worried about you 
I'm just your Sour Patch Kid that doesn't mean anything to you anymore it feels like

P.s. I will always lov...

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It's unnecessary how rugged the rain is come down

Somewhere I lost myself in old pictures of you

Can you kiss me like the rain coming down

I feel like my bitter battered heart has been crying out

Listen to all the sounds that you make

So slurp on your coffee some more

As I imagine you are so gracefully looking up

I couldn't get away form these cafe blues

They're the ma...

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[Verse 1:]
This Melancholy weather has the best of me
I talked to my father he said you wasn't the only fish in the sea
But you are the only fish I see 
So who am I supposed to be
You could give me the third degree
But this boy's love will always be free for you

[Hook:]
I want to settle down and have a couple kids
If that doesn't happen before 26
You can't say I didn't try to show you ...

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[Verse 1:]
You don't know how precious you really are
You're way too beautiful for words to explain
You're rarer than the rose in the concrete
When I see you I see Heaven inside you
You make me into a sappy little kid
You have me waiting here with your sweet lovely hands
You're definitely the one I can't refuse it at all
Firefly have your back no matter what

[Hook:]
I'll be waiting her...

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[intro:]
Being alive isn't living
I don't fear dying now
So as I tried to overdose
On all the promises you made me

[Verse 1:]
All I want to do is dream
Dreaming is dangerous when you're comfortable in it
Is this not relatable to you
I thought I could fly but the concrete woke me
All I want to do is dream

[Hook 1:]
Pick-A-Part my mind
To find if there's love for you
The answer you...

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[Hook:]
We're smoking loud 
We're basement drinking
We're all cereal now
Lit as fuck with our hearts on the ground

[Verse 1:]
I'm just trying to find my happiness
I like to keep myself in this business
I'm straight up losing this
This Kush is loud straight tidiness
Now play the hook again and just say grace

[Hook:]
We're smoking loud 
We're basement drinking
We're all cereal now
...

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This is the story of a Sour Patch Kid
Tell me what to say now
You have me singing a broken ballad
I shouldn't love you but I did
You was my dirty little secret

One kiss and I became Bewitched
I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years for you
I gave up New York for you
It was never enough for you

I was a fuck boy who had everyone fooled 
Thinking I was a good kid
Then the truth came s...

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[intro:]
This isn't about race
It's the poor versus the 1%
If they get their way 
They'll make it about race

[Verse 1:]
I'm going to get a little political
I'm a liberal until the day I die
Just because we have different politics doesn't mean anything
Antifa stop punching everyone you think it's a Nazi
MLK told us that words are more powerful so use them
Violence only makes a villain ...

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[Verse 1:]
Let's get it right we both understand each other's pain
We were both born to mothers that don't love us
They both was abusive and addicted to drugs
I remember the night that you were homeless
I couldn't let you sleep on the street
I love you to goddamn much 

[Hook:]
I'm trying to make a living on this music
Every time I see your picture
It reminds me of why I can't let go
I...

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I've caught this broken hearted fever
I don't think they make glue to fix this
Your love was the blow torch that melted it back together
Now your absence is weighting on me

The ghost of us making out on the kitchen counter
I was so nervous with you 
I never wanted to hurt you but my anxiety came out
To destroy our love story that we were making

if I could go back to them days
I would ...

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I am only damaged goods
There's nothing good about me dear
You should have killed me at least 
I would have been better off
You were my everything but now I'm just a zombie

I still remember everything you told me
Conversation is thrilling with you
So please come home soon I'm numb to everything
I'm liking the thought of positivity
You were my everything but now I'm just a zombie

You ...

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Don't try to understand this
The absence of my will to live
Has possession over me
It's terrifying in my mind

I don't have what it takes to stay alive
I was once strong don't get me wrong
With your arms wrapped around me so tight
Now I'm here of a dead soul

It's terrifying in my mind
Has possession over me
The absence of my will to live
Don't try to understand this

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We're moving in a month
To some house in England
I'll miss this place
I'll miss my friends
Mother can't afford this house
Dad why did you have to leave us
We're moving to 30 East Drive

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Sinking feeling of dread
Comes over you as the night falls
I don't want to live but I don't want to die
I don't really think it's ever going to get better

I'm consumed by this Melancholy weather
Don't tell me I should live
Because I've heard it all before
April at the age of 15 you were taken too early

It left me begging for death
Don't tell me I should live
Negative lines are tight ...

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As you distorted the words I had to say
Dismiss fitted heart of mine broke down into painless realization
Overcame me like the oxygen in my lungs
I realization of the truth that my mind needed you and only  you
I'm always going to be an option on the table but that's not good enough to you but I need love like anyone else
I pray to every God damn being in this universe for you to come back
S...

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I've been so disgusted with myself
If you leave me here you won't miss me
Pocket full of posies were all going to be ashes soon
My mind's decomposing to misery

This social anxiety is eating me alive
I'm not brave enough to fight alone
I've got this hole in my chest ever growing
This heartbreak is killing me

I wish I could just stop caring
I'll be dead by 2020 so who cares anyway
I be...

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With uneasy tension in the air
Your body turns into an chilled mess
Manifests into the tragedy that happened in this house
Whispering in your ear gently

For who sleep in 30 East Drive
Will never wake again

So name him Fred and let him be your friend
You never seen his sinister nature behind a smile
For the black monk house will already have you
So cry for mercy but there is not any mo...

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The truth is I'm not okay
If I start explaining my demons we'll be here all night
I've been broken but not this bad 
I'm a cliche that no one wants around anymore

Dig your fingernails into my skin
It's okay I'm too numb to fill anyway
I'm kicking it back like the Karate Kid
I'm melting away like ice cream

I'm dying in this little town 
That always looked at me like I'm a Satanist
Thi...

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Drown myself in a bleak existence without you
Eye for an eye will make the whole world blind
I can never replace you
Self harm doesn't hurt anymore I'm numb to it
I'll always love you 
These voices say I'm miserable alone
I believe every word they tell me
Because I miss you everyday
My soul is so empty that I don't feel anything
It remembers having you in it was full of joy

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Don't tell me you're taking this seriously
You was never the type to fall in love
Used everyone to get your way in life
Now you're at that peak of fame in your running from it
Mumbling to yourself that you want to be with her
Boys used to not care about a damn soul
You lost friends like paper in the fire
What did she do to make you so weak
It's like you have a heart you at the age of 21
T...

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Je t'aimerai jusqu'au jour de ma mort
âme Firefly continue à tenir
Je sais que les temps sont durs
Je t'aimerai toujours jusqu'au jour de ma mort

 

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Menthol cigarette to kill me faster 
I don't want to get lost in 6 feet regret
So is my love worthless like my brain tells me
I got change in my pocket but I don't think it's enough for your heart

So if I live long enough do you think you'll love me
Should I echo the line full of dread
I know that you go through pain
I get you better than anyone else does

I've never had the right words...

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Have this Tylenol pill
It smell like almonds
It won't be better at all
Your go to sleep after you take it

You may never wake up again
You'll feel better because of it
So here's a glass of water
So get swallowing Tylenol pills

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I'm all alone in this crowd
Melancholy wash the skin until It breaks
The confusion is just the first part of falling apart
So hang yourself on the tree Jesus's cross was made from

Hell won't love you when God's dead
So look up kid everyone has to suffer for sinfully ways
Your morally right is toxic for the mind
Love will numb it until determination kills you

To be vulnerable is to be t...

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How did I let you get this bad
Mr Depression how can I get away 
From you'er bloodshed 
It's my body not yours 

But you'r keep telling me
One more time won't kill me
It's okay this how life is 

I won't ever get away from you 
Your'll always found me 
Your'll always found me 
And kill the good in me 

So how do I fight something 
That is a part of me 
I hate you 
I wish you wasn'...

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Blood soaked cloth is all that remains
Putrid and sour is how regret taste
Bludgeon your ears some more with callus words
The grizzled man that you left will always love you

The vow was made like an birthmark on his skin
It will always be there until the skin rots
He will live in this melancholy existence
He can escape on his free will but he will not

For the vow was to love her and no...

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I'm losing myself 
In the sinking feeling
You're not coming back home
There's only the sweet smell of melancholy

Suicidal thoughts consume the mind
This frigid summer is about to turn winter
Breathe sweet melancholy fever in
It's chilly inside the lighthouse tonight

No boats are allowed in this antarctic frost
If her Firefly light shine it would feel like summer
There's no green side...

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Hello to Mr. Depression
If you could hold time 
Would you still say goodbye 
There is nothing here but good times
So cam you stop crying she would tell the truth
Only the truth she would say
This is her goodbye

I know this isn't a end
You couldn't take 
But everyone gose away
Everyone has too say goodbye
So goodbye Lady Death 

The light, the light, the light
Is where your go 
Hol...

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Lady Death why can't you see 
That everyone you know 
Is fake look around before you give in
There has too be someone 
Who is looking for the truth like you

Don’t worry about Mr Depression
His  okay with dying alone
It's something he's had to face with all his life
So go like everyone before you 
It's okay it's not like he love's you 
It's not like he care about you
Hell like I said i...

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Here I am thinking to myself
Should I end my pain
For I stop the numbness 
Goddamn wouldn't that be great 

Lady death where are you now?
Lady death why won't you come back?
I'm just Mr Depression 

If I'm so bad then why did you say you loved me
Back in them nights when I showed my heart
So just go like the whore that give me life
It's okay I'll just burn away 

With arms so weak co...

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I was so innocent
Living life in my imagination
Had the whole world in my hands
You became reality creeping in

Showing me what true happiness is
So why did you take that away from me?
You were shining a light on my flaws
I was changing my ways for you

When I was almost complete you left me
Why did you leave me in my addiction to bleed
Everyone tells me I should break this promise
I'...

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Listen up 
This is a funeral for soul
Listen up 
Cowboy you will be reborn in Violet

With wings so heavy 
The vultures can't take you away
Will get off Venus okay
With space suits made out of razor blades

Listen up 
If we can bleed Lady Death can't come for us
Listen up 
You'll have to struggle with addiction

With wings so heavy
The lighter will lead our way
Will get off Venus ...

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This dead situation is getting even more grim
These floorboards are pussing up with blood
The ghost in the closet keeps opening it up
I beg for some solitude from the faces that's not there

So sit here and ignore all the problems in this house has
Like my cries for help that goes on death's ear
It was my life that got sacrificed for your love
I'm more like my father than I want to be

I...

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It hurts so bad knowing I love you
That I wasn't good enough to keep you here
This suicide love is all I have
Sticking to these words I told you

Taking all I have to hold on to you
I want to let go and dance into the sky
You promised that we would get married
I bet you'll break it with a smile on your face

I'll be here with this loaded rope
I told you all I have this is vow 
You mean...

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Menthol cigarettes and a head full of problems
What a beautiful way to drown in this hell
I can't trust my mind it's always out to get me

Alarm clock sound like bombs dropping
Tearing me from the world that I want to be in
I swear if I could sleep forever I would have you

I'm self-conscious at the situation 
Reality is now my nightmare
I'm always going to be broken

You're always lin...

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I'm sitting here suffocating in these thoughts
Wishing that I was your favorite person
Every time I start to be you run from me
Leaving me to the fucking thought was I that bad?

I picked you over everyone
That still wasn't good enough for you
I never imagined a future until I met you
Now that slipping away like the sipping on vodka

All day I'm choking on thoughts of you
I'm exhausted ...

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I'm sorry, I'm trying

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With The Vultures whispering sweet Lady Death into your ear
That smile turned into a frown
We killed Bebop Samurai
We know you're Mr. Depression

So here's a razor blade some salt for the wound
They're burning like a lighter in the sun
Melting all your walls down for they can come in
Self-abuse is such a beautiful thing when you're awake

Don't you sleep little Space Cowboy
You can't ha...

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I'm still Anarchy
I grabbed her by her handle
Pushed her close to my skin
I'm a knife pervert now

Different day but nothing changes
Black fingernail polish and leather jackets
Cuts up and down my thighs
I'm a knife pervert now

Life still tastes bitter sweet
This panic disorder is killing me
A knife can't love you back
I'm a knife pervert now

I see faces in the shadows
So can we ...

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I just want to pound my face in the pavement
Till there's blood everywhere
Living Without You is worse than death
I wish you were in my room 
For I can lose myself in you
I promise I'll stop bitching about my depression if you come back
This situation has got me at my worst
So talk some sense to me cause I'm about to break this promise
Before I even turned 26 I know I love you but I can't ...

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I'm sorry to the children I'll never have
I gave my life to a promise
Gave away the easy life
To wait in the misery of knowing I'll never have her

It's not her fault I could give up
That would make me like every guy before
So I prove to her that I truly loved her
I never broke my vows to her

They might be the knife sticking out of me
I told her I'd bleed out for her
Did you think I w...

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Just be quiet and polite
There's never any happiness in this
Just days that's gone by surrounded in loneliness
There's only the empty feeling of losing love

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I had the whole damn world 
I watched it shatter underneath my feet
Now I'm lost in the underbelly of who I used to be
What do I have left when the hurt is gone

You were always my better half
I let my insecurities take you away
I tried to tell you how I felt but it would never come out right
Firefly I wish I got to open up before you left

Am not giving up on you 
I'm just growing numb...

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The hollow is biting back
With roses burning out your ears
That porch step is gone now
We're seeing your true colors

It's heavy with the vultures around you
We said it back then prove us that were wrong
The casualties in your mind will be many
But the Violet cannot win

Don't disappear into the unknown
You were from Mr. Depression to a Space Cowboy
Deep down he was always there
Leadi...

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I think I'm cold to the touch
How simple words can trigger me back to nowhere
Happiness is becomes a consuming lust

It's not really as bad as I say
But the words clanged to my soul
A purpose so worthless I feel empty from it

It's scary what a smile can hide
When completely consumed by the depression
My mind tells to go deeper, deeper, deeper!

What ugly lines on my thigh 
The lines ...

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I'm immersed in the polluted water
Redemption is not a growing sound
I won't be drowning and chlorophene
Just the excess matter in my brain

Luckily the blood is pouring out
Let's stay alive until the sunrise
Summer will fade away and Autumn can come save us
We can hold each other in hollows mouth

Love is absolutely beautiful
Lust will grow stale soon
Hope that conversation is lovely ...

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Cigarettes and the pills what a great way 
To explain the depression everlasting
Drown yourself in Zoloft 
With the strongest menthol cigarette you can find

Coat my lungs in the tar
The only time I feel fine is when I'm dying
Marlboro blacks is her favorite
With the strongest vodka you can find

Coat my lungs in the tar
The only time she feel fine is 
When she is higher nicotine
I ca...

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She takes her vodka strong
He doesn't think it's important what you believe in
Or he wouldn't be trying to change you all the time

So keep asking yourself if he's the one
Your brain will keep telling you that smart decision to be with him
Your heart will remind you that there's the boy that's waiting

Puff, puff pass remember that's the way we used to live
If was a day drive to get to yo...

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Violet overthrown of the crown
Smile with your burning rays
You're quite hollow near shallow lights
If you need anyone just know I'll be here

I'll drop everything
Find a place for you to be yourself
Kick me kick me let me bleed out
If you need anyone just know I'll be here

Royalty is your place isn't it violet
Burn my wings off leave them charred
I still love you and the void you lef...

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Space Cowboy there was no Great Depression
When you seen her face all the stars aligned
To tell you that she's the one
You may have to fight on Venus all your life

In the purple night sky haze
Was a moment of clarity
For the girl that saved the world showed her light
That light wasn't her being heroic but her fearing that she lost it all

She knew the space cowboy
She only felt love fo...

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He's a space cowboy he doesn't follow society's rules
So do you see the world in his eyes
Such a beautiful lie that he tells everyone
He found the cure to depression

It's just a trip to Mars away
You got to stop breathing to make it there though
With bloodshot eyes and hope in his smile
He found the cure to depression

On a mountain of lies that he told the world
His ascension to Mars ...

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It's just a jump you should do it
Into the water you won't go
No one cares that you don't know how to swim
Your shattered soul that can't be saved

So just jump into it
The negative one in you is all you are now
So drown yourself in all of this
Or keep waiting on her

You're a black hole of misery
There's no one to blame but yourself
We all know you love her 
So stop repeating it and ...

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So as I hang in your mind
Honestly I gotta keep it all in
If I let it out you'll get pissed at me again
You can close the door but that won't change a thing

I'm just a boy that understands you better then him
Not the boy you want to be with
Funny how I'll be miserable forever waiting for you
I wish that you could feel how it felt

No fuck that I won't let you feel this bad

Just hang ...

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I guess it's not good enough to take my love up
You'er all I wanted but you'er running from it again
I guess there's no happy ending for me
You're everything I want but you can't realize that

I'm the one who's going to die alone
So there goes my happy ending
You're everything I want
Now you're here Burning bridges again

I'm just here drowning in the sea
You are my everything and you c...

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Words of the waiting man
looking for a sign of hope
In your tower of lights
You've been here before
She gave you hope that she'll return soon
Just to burn the bridge again
The only one who can make you cry is her
You don't want to fall to pieces
You just want her to know that you're in love with her
So wait your waiting tower
Let her break your heart over and over
The feelings never fad...

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Woke up today to check my Facebook
Just to be reminded that I'm truly alone
I don't think I want to go to bed anymore
I miss the comfort of being sad

Back then I knew I could deal with it
I feel like I'm missing pieces
If this hurts anyone I'm sorry
I miss the comfort of being sad

I want to drink until I’m numb
Until I don’t know who I am anymore
Until is all feels comfortably nothin...

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Grandma I wish I got to know you better
You're the reason I graduated
The day you went into the unknown
Was the day our family died

I don't think things will ever be the same
I grew to love horror movies because of you
The day you went into the unknown
Thank you for standing up against my mother

I never got to tell you 2013 was hell for me
No one recovered after you left us
The day y...

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I'm normally heartless and condescending
I can never be that way with you 
(With you, you, you)
You bring the best out of me
So let me bring some clarity to you

My father told me
We're both being a little kids
If we love each other we should be together
It's not as difficult as we make it

All my friends say damn you love her
I'm like no shit Sherlock
I'm a smartass but it's somethin...

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Deer slime Queen
I see you there flying like an Firefly
Catching fire to the city
It's something I'll never forget

I'm addicted to the cigarettes and beer on your breath
Morning cuddles and small little kisses x2
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh

So can we ballroom dance to My Chemical Romance
Have a night that we trust each other 
With each others past
knowing that we won't judge each other

I'm a...

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Don't you think for one second I'm giving up on you
I'll be here to be your punching bag
It's easy to see that you're the only one for me
Through the thick and thin I'll be here for you

I'm here to stand my ground to make you understand
You're the only human I see
I love you even at your worst
I'll be here for you even if it kills me

You had me at your first pick up line
So don't star...

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I'll save my razor blade for a sunny day
Did you think I'd let the fire die out
I'm rubbing two sticks together
I think the hollows taking over

I'm not strong enough Firefly
It's carnage all around me  
I'm drowning and it feels like tar entering my lungs
It's a beautiful day to bleed out

I'm making all-nighters with pretty
I want to suffocate on you
But the Hollow won't let us
Next...

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She's intelligence she can do most anything
I truly believe these words
She's more than the average human
I hope she hasn't changed a goddamn thing

She's the words that I cannot find
When she's in front of me I stutter over my words
I miss her more than I miss the October nights
I just want to spend my days listening to her

Where the memory of her lays
Is where my roses grow
I almost...

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I have 10 days now 
                             Until my age is older 
Could you come and save me 
                                 The absence of you is crashing into me
I miss telling you I love you 
                                 You're always be my favorite
I crave your voice telling me
                                   I crave your voice telling me 
You're here to stay this time
...

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Wake up

Death to the Space Cowboy
Death to the Bebop Samurai
There won't be space roses in your graveyard
The hollow is all that remain

Wake up

Push your fingers into your eyes
Tell yourself you're awake with bleeding eyes
The hollow is all that remain
Don't tell the bishop about my blood vessels popping

Wake up

Put a gun to your head
The hollow is all that remain
Oops the t...

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I stay in my room all alone
I don't desire human contact
Some of you would see that as a negative
I don't mind being on my own

Yes one day I'd like a family
But until then I'll talk to myself
I think I make lovely company
I don't mind being on my own

I don't mind 
I don't mind 
I don't mind being on my own

So leave me and my social anxiety alone
Pessimistic if you look it up  
T...

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Damaged my mental haze
Could you forgive me for the sins
I could never forgive myself

I won't bend knee to anyone
The ashy rain has our children crying
Freedom has a price It isn't so free

Worship to any God that you feel like
But death will still take you away
We build monuments to our wars

It's like our true nature is violent
So pull a gun out on your neighbor
An eye for an eye ...

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