Remember to buy yourself flowers

And to smile at the things you don’t know

It’s only children that own super powers

And we gain ours helping them grow

Know that love is a blade that can cut you

But it’s hate that will poison your blood

And with time all your truths will come untrue

There are things you don’t know, but you could

And the voice in your head that keeps talki...

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Smithereens

The bridge is destroyed

with fallen masonary in the river beneath

The occasional missle or drone shoots past the window

of my multi storied apartment

Where I lay on an unmade bead with soiled sheets

slowly sipping a glass of the finest malt whiskey

It is the last bottle from my hidden store room

where a few other tranquilizing agents are to be found

I am...

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In every mouthful of food
in every look of love,
in every chiding, every making up:
this sometimes bay of tranquillity,
a harbour to which I return.
helter-skelter
from all the storms and squalls of life

This goddess, now,  sails away 
as we traverse the wild seas of experience.
Tibetan Buddhism, Dharmakaya,
the ultimate nature of the fully enlightened mind,

A union of pure appe...

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It was not the midnight drill,

Nor any dream necked in blue.

People may cover their own defense,

When night becomes true.

Not all the vulgar words are obscene,

Nor any love indecent in color.

People may rewrite the history,

When time becomes bipolar.

Words can draw us fool,

Or make us wise, in mind.

But only for the flashbacks

We remain prophets, not bl...

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Anyone walking far enough in a straight line
is thought a genius, or leader to follow,
or a wonder, or a danger to society.
A mystery beyond understanding
or miracle or danger to society.
So if you make it past the graveyard
with you walking stick,
past the field with horses
wondering what it's all about,
over the zebra crossing with your inhaler
past revving drivers who own the road,
t...

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Am running out of patients

Running out of time 

Theses old feet are tried

My mind cloudy

I think am still in a dream

Is it all a dream 

If so I need to wake up 

Need to get up 

Am running out pages to write this old sorty

Regret is a feeling worth avoiding

I feel battered

For defeat is around the corner

I feel the soil creeped up around my earthly body 

Am ru...

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In search of yew in Borrowdale

that shared the sun with Judas,

I walk a rutted path,

aware of twinges, snares, rocks,

carrying your paints and easel

along with this bowl of words,

no longer fit for consumption,

mold festering in knots

from sour touching fruit within.

And if these words were berries,

gardeners would stand disappointed

at the canker in the bark...

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From your loaf, get 2 slices of bread.
Put on some butter...evenly spread!
Put away the cheese, bacon or ham.
For this butty, you only require Jam!
When I was a Diddy Knotty Ash lad.
They were the best butties I ever had.
Strawberry Jam, Raspberry or Plum.
They all tasted lovely, made by Mum!
Eating one now, I've gone back in time.
To when I lived by a Jam Butty Mine!
I'm older now, trav...

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Wars are the usual bag of tricks:

Fought by the same class of suckers,

Straight out of factory or school,

Uncomplaining and scared to death.

Heads crammed with patriotic guff,

They squirm in trenches at the front

And finish dead or short of limbs.

Those who survive, when they return

To a country fit for heroes,

Are told, in no uncertain terms,

To shut up and to know t...

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I like the gray in the sky when I’m in the yard, so quiet and calm as an empty shrine, there´s my mind on standby.

I like the rain on winter days, make me stay in bed, soft and warm as your palm that I grab when you walk the aisle.

I like the haze on cold days that cover the hope in my face, sad and tired on the holy ground, with a scarlet sky.

I like to cross smiles and hi’s in the sunri...

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When the waters get choppy

& a storm is brooding,

black clouds in the sky

& on faces,

often it is best 

to crawl into the nest

of silence.

When angry words are born of trauma

too deep to be understood,

often it is best

to don the cloak

of silence.

Silence gives space

for minds to open,

silence gives air

to clear the cobwebs.

Deeper & deeper into sile...

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When this fellow is upset

he gets all emulsional

Instead of telling the truth he

Always glosses things over

In Preparation

For a good night out, he starts

Stripping off his work clothes

Brushes his hair

Then climbs into his flashy new Roller

He’s gagging for a drink

His throat feels like sandpaper

Before long, he’s steaming drunk

Then, uses a cheesy li...

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Nineties football. Chelsea game

Me and Dad. Loved it same

Both loved tackle. Different name

Beckham’s tackle. Felt no shame

'Dad I’m gay'. Out it came

Tried to hide. Tried to tame

Downplay gay. Felt to blame

All Dad say was 'Cut it out'

People pleaser. My mate Dan

Diamond geezer with a tan

Hid his thoughts about what I am

Hid he’s bi from his old man

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Doors

Break with vowels the locks from iron mill gates,

Unblock the doors long shut.

And cut with words the tape in gold and black,

wake the hive Bring the bees back,

display your lines to keep the thoughts alive

In bars and bistros, parks, cafés, in rhymes…

May we meet, greet and fling wide

Our doors as on the silenced street

We stop outside, shoot the breeze, the...

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Willy’s at the foodbank
Polishing the brand
Stepping from the Range Rover
With nothing in his hand
Kate is in a pink coat
Willy’s jumper’s green
They’ve brought a photographer
They’re here to be seen

Willy’s at the foodbank
Chatting to the staff
Kate is sorting out the tins
They’re both having a laugh
Like this is all so normal
This whip round for the poor
With his green-jumpered p...

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Our beautiful Romanian rescue

travels life in a new direction.

Her shiny damp nose nestles deep

Pursuing our love and affection

Previously on the streets of Bucharest

possessing sharp wits to survive

Food so scarce for those on the streets

She must stay sharp, to stay alive.

Unborn puppies wouldn't be easy to carry

She must find food, somewhere safe to lie

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Regret

Regret
A thousand times regret.

Choices made,
that cannot be unmade.

Stupid things,
done again and again.

Foundations
laid for a useless life.

Coming to an end for some time.

At least death will be done right.

Kind of hard to screw that up.

(Photo taken by poet. It's the Pennsylvania hills behind Frank Lloyd Wright's Kentuck Knob House.)

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Like a dream is looms

So beautiful

A light on a dark path I must walk

While people mock

A path hard and scary

With pain and turns

The walk to the city is not pretty

And some experances tramatizing 

But I keep going

It seems to never end

And I'm afraid I'll never make it there

Never make it to the safe, resting, City at the end

The light in the distance seems so ...

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Don’t gi’ mi Dad a mid-week sub

He’ll piss it against a wall

Hang on… t’ya dosh till the job is done

Then you can gi’ ‘im it all

Don’t gi’ mi Dad a mid-week sub

NO…. wait till the job is over

If he’s brass in ‘is pocket…. ‘e wain’t come back

Leastways…. He wain’t come back sober

He’s fast-and-rough..... wi’out a drink

But He loses his speed…. after beers

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After being lost for so long the pain began to feel like a friend 

It felt good to acknowledge something even if it hurt

After all

There was nothing else to hold on to. 

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Mules

Shoulders sore, propped up over an internally burning stomach

Raw eyes anchored to keys,

Each digital page was a blanketed field surrounded by summits.

It’s no crowned jewel, although sometimes peppered by obsidian flakes,

Numbers indicating trailheads with the promise of mountains and lakes.

Following the spine upwards, eyeing the words down

Pages were the ...

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Lost in the fire

That warms the soul

That cooks the bread

Calling all that see it to gather round

To gaze into its heart as if the answer will be there. 

Somehow written in the embers 

Idly stirred with poker or stick

Dancing fire birds sent to the sky

Crazily reaching for the stars to become one, but burning out fall back to hearth of birth 

Lost in the fire, thoug...

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Some of the most beautiful colours
perhaps, I have ever seen 
Reflections in our local pond
creates this amazing scene 

The birds look so fabulous 
against this winter vista delight 
A fleeting moment in time 
too quickly disappears out of sight  

Photo credit Dr Amir Khan
 

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Mostly to do with upsetting people that matter to me – Our Gert and the kids.  But they all predicate on two principles – things I’ve said or done which I shouldn’t have and things I haven’t said or done with I should have.  But it might be a measure of my superficiality that my mind keeps returning to a school rugby match over 50 years ago.

I was playing as an open side flanker.  They had a li...

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Fortune fails what love forgets

An entanglement of horror

Forgotten fools, defile the soul

Left foraging for sorrow

Permissive lives, destroyed by God

Perturbed, entrenched with puss

Presumed and cloaked in putrid lies

Distends a repulsive trust

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I know that he’s lying,

He knows I know that he’s lying,

They know that he’s lying,

They know that I know that he’s lying,

They know that I know that they know that he’s lying,

I’ve not found any evidence that anyone is lying,

Because I’ve not looked for any evidence,

Why don’t I give a flying pig?

‘Cos this brown envelope’s big,

And he’s got that job at the Beeb.

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try if you dare 

where no one treads 

that singular path 

deep into nowhere 

that something else 

eludes you still 

keeps you restless 

for good or ill

until your last breath

you’ll be doing it to death  

as you still haven’t felt

that something else 

nobody holds it 

no one owns 

tempted by it 

driven by madness 

carved from rawn...

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Walking in our front door,

A multi-colored package in my hand

promising something has arrived for someone

“Is that a present for me?”, her playful query

“No, it’s just my meds from the good doctor.”

“Still seems like a gift for me.”, her reply

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Cold and dark

here I lay

waiting for you at bay.

The orange pearl is sinking into the seas.

Thousands of sand grains surround me,

yet I still feel so lonely.

I have given my heart to you

and now it’s sinking slowly in the seas.

I will wait for eternity

may the seas direct you back to me.

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Ask me where I come from

And I'll tell you about white cotton fields

And honeysuckle vines that cling

To rotting wood fences

Ask me where I am

And I'll describe a lonely, sunken house

Resurrected by a lonely, hurting family

With nothing left but eachother

Ask me where I'll go

And I'll say somewhere, anywhere

But here in this empty town

Where memories make...

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The feast of colour should be an etching of nature's joy

not of horror rendered forever into minds. 

The nazis were thorough

versatile in their methods

for such is the pornography of cruelty

satisfaction in putting to death the innocents

pleasure at a job well done. 

Arbitrary hanging was one such habit

the ending of precious lives

by choking on a rope in full ...

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In a while the wicked will be no more ,

And into our lives goodness will pour.

With the calamities of the past we will cope,

Pushing them to the side building up hope.

He who looks after us from above,

Will shower us with unlimited love.

A bright future is there to share,

Drawing us close to Him up there.

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The Seclusionists Paradise

     He had a thought,

   he thinks, thinks it will be fine one day,

he is ‘now’ before the sink, filling a kettle

     to boil his fifth cup of tea.

     The thought was of course;- genuine,

and in control, the journey never travelled

fractal enclosures of reliability and he did think

he was enjoying his inquiry.

     Smiling wh...

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Whenever you start to fret or worry,
If you feel impatient or in a hurry.
And you realise that you may be stuck
Walking your path of dreadful luck.

You feel despondent and dejected,
And by the whole world quite rejected.
Then you may ponder and you may think,
How much lower can my despair sink.

But can you just step off this road?
Can you set your mind to a cheerful mode?
Your view o...

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bleeding lamb-like the split throat splaying

on temple steps for Set's quiet-dark smirks

among scam-based chakra shenanigans

the iron-scented mist of blood 

atonement propelled through bone-white air a mass of military-grade psychic driving

travelling by darkness fear-first 

deep in prayers of accidental blasphemies regrets melting salty on a quickly-creasing face threats 

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Though unready for such leaps,

Forced to confront

All the crimson of the epoch,

And a lexicon that lives

Closer to comfort, yet

Further from the truth,

As we stand faithless

Before the fulcrum

That could let flourish

The coveted equilibrium, 

An un-becoming of the ego,

A veto to the vertigo

Caused by a nexus

Of the nefarious, angling

For the negation

Of...

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I woke up this morning at quarter to nine
And made myself breakfast of waffles and wine,
This unhealthy mixture went straight to my head
So after six helpings I went back to bed.

I woke up again at a quarter to three
And after my lunch it was time for my tea
And after my tea I was feeling so ill
I spent the night crying and writing a will. 
 

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to pass you by is to long

for you close, lips sweet despite her

claim’s acrid taste. you wave.

your wandering hand runs up my thigh like

vines cling to ancient stone structures.

we make a sick picture, half-past-drunk

on years of tension, crushed

between mouths and confession in the dark.

you look at me as though

i might not run laps around the room

in hopes of catchi...

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These paths we walk
grounded by responsibility
well-worn routine
practiced intimacy
I could only smile
when you whispered in my ear
‘Take me away from this
take me anywhere but here’

Living in the moment
it’s all we know to do
as you pepper my shoulder with kisses
my fingers explore every inch of you
You said ‘the world is a minibar
cold and empty
but now we’re blessed by this heat
...

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You had the dream-maker tell you riddles

You gave the way forward through your prophetic heart

We felt our way through what they call intuition

It is really the soul when it speaks

My magic is unceremonial, my turn is my own wand

When I walk I have wattage and the daoine sìth gather

My sea hymns are of certain instinct and make a good flood

Such as they seek of the river Boyne...

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I am damned to live a different life,
Sweat beading in the pores,
Dead maggots in my eyes.

I am damned to live a different life,
Not feeling or real,
Held hostage within me.

I am damned to live a different life,
Alone inside the shadow,
Unable to break free.

I am damned to live a different life,
Better?
Worse?

Its not up to me.

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What is love 

But snow falling softly in the crisp moonlit night 

With layers of passion melting slowly into the next 

To the rains and floods that churn our hearts into uncertainty

Only to see that the heavens still pull new life from the earth in a symphony of glorious beauty

To then the fun in the summer sun 

As lovers swim naked in the waters made of their winter night's pass...

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Into the office 

someone's brought cake!

Don't they know

I'm a little snowflake!

I have no willpower 

Can't think for myself

Then in strolls this cocky

little cake elf!

Spreading obesity

Like covid 19

Don't they know cake

should never be seen! 

It's total carnage

There's cream round me gob

And, now, someone's brandishing 

a chocolate hob-...

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'Is everything okay?' She asked with a sense of duty not care.

This tells me that even the deepest of pains cannot be concealed. Humans know humans.

All those wasted hours I spent on pampering my appearance to hide behind a mask of beauty have been wasted.

My reflection routine of practising the performance of emotions must have been ineffective.

In response I say, ‘yes I’m okay!’ tr...

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~ imPRESSions ~

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Melting into your being means aligning with your highest self, still lost in a fog hoping to ascend! 
   
           

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i want to go for a walk you say

the sunrise is beautiful and the wind is gentle

though, i will never notice the sunrise,

not even when you point it out to me

i'll notice how your hand will brush mine

and the soft way you'll speak to me

so gentle, that early in the morning

i'll notice each gap in between the conversations we'll have

the small ...

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How is it that one person can go from loving you to hating you overnight? 

Did all the time spent with one another not mean anything?did the words you two shared or exchanged have no meaning behind them? 

Was the thought of a future together not enough for you? 

Moments and memories shared with one another didn’t mean anything? 

For me I can say that what we had was real even if it was...

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mankind is a old tale
mankind is a old tale of respect
mankind is a wise old tale
mankind is a wise old respect
respect is a wise old respect
respect is a wise old tale of respect
honor of mankind is kindness of mankind

respect is a kindness respect
respect is a kindness old tale of respect
in honor of respect is in honor of mankind
a old tale is a wise old tale
a old tale is a wise o...

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A bus conductor, based in Texas,

Was sentenced to the electric chair,

For throwing old ladies off the bus.

His aim was notoriety.

His infamy was established, thus.

Now, not all states still have the Chair,

But Texas keeps that 'facility' there,

So, Harry was considered unlucky.

But, then again, not nearly as unlucky,

As the poor old ladies, he threw off the bus!

...

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Convenience is the password when ordering stuff online

Not least when various factors seem to create the word "malign"..

And night owls discover drawbacks (the downside if you will)

Of going to bed in the early hours but unsure when the trill

Of the door bell will be interrupting sleep's enfolding embrace

With its imperious demands to answer before there is no trace

Of the consta...

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How it would have been 

Long ago when things were green 

Now in ruins lay beneath foliage dense 

Excavations made finding homes of someone 

Walking past those buildings and the roads 

Deepest silence only the wind broke 

Trying to figure out how it would be then 

Imagining people those that did dwell 

Their voices and their mundane chores 

It's a walk down the pathways o...

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Vultures fly in perfect circles

and pretend we believe

they are white doves

bringing us peace

Foul-smelling scavengers

disguised as prominent politicians;

illiterate statesmen or authentic literati,

that never attended a single seminar

or even stepped in a University

but surely received and will show with much glee

their hard earned honorary doctorate degree

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Mind laying roadmaps to uncertain future

Leaving the past, there's nothing new here

Moving to contusive places strategically

Taking chances with faith to score wins

Still, I do 'sin when seen' here and there

The power that blesses us is not selective

We just take turns, I ready my cups daily

I won’t pray for better handouts anymore

Neither will I beg for what I can ear...

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re-reading a book

for a Podcast later on.

making lots of notes.

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The Eagle Woman is made of shale 
layers of life loam, which weigh her down
She is subsumed by ten white men who have killed every ounce of her outward nature.
Men like granite who glance her way
Not seeing the feathers pearlescent, buried, fused with the debris of past bullies.
Though she rises up to the thermals with wings that only God himself can capitulate.

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There’s a small light on my sofa

from the backdoor window,

reminds me of the drive

I have left to live.

But drive is something we do;

not something that lives.

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When you're here with me

Time moves fast and slow at once

It stopped - now you're gone

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I am grateful

Because I am breathing

Are you grateful?

Because your heart is beating

Oxygen in

Inhalation

Carbon dioxide out

Exhalation

I feel calm

I am zen

I feel grounded

I am whole

It’s powerful

To love someone

It’s impactful

To be loved by the same one

Like the blood in my veins

My creativity flows

Bigger than fiery flames

My inspiration...

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Restless spirit casts off his friar’s robe

And steps into the fatal arms of love

Let the wound bleed out all the bad blood

From the shadow monk

Lost hippy dancer takes a drug

To take her back but she is now 73

And no one looks anymore

Monks are too Friary

Mary Hopkins put her slippers on and

Whispered to Mao Zedong – put your

Hand in here and start a re...

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You are born in this world.

Born to a mother and father.

Born to be a son or a daughter.

The mould is set.

Your gender announced to the world.

Like permanent ink on a banner.

Its a boy! ,Its a girl!

Its a baby!

You learn to toddle.

Pretty pink delicate things,

Are given as gifts.

But you’d rather play...

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As we were wandering through a forest full of ancient trees,
my alter ego said he wanted to turn over a new leaf.

As there was a lot of mulch about, the two of us made a squelching noise.

Curious, I asked, ‘Why a new one?’

For all we could see were old leaves, which I suggested
might be due to a raiding party of new-age gardeners from
a commune called Leaf Us Alone.

‘Shush,’ he caut...

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It’s been so long that I’ve been here.

The leaves are changing again–

falling and floating down into

shallow moving streams and still puddles, stagnant 

between moss covered rocks

like bits of of orange and yellow confetti or

sprinkles on a birthday cake

or fish food flakes that miss the mouths and sink to settle

onto the bottom. 

It should be so beautiful–

...

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The found couple sat on a bench, holding
hands. It was a July English estuary seafront

and they were amongst screeching children,
feral dogs and the smell of fresh doughnuts.

Old now and rugged up against the wind
they resembled a monument. Both were scared

of talking in case of being misunderstood.
A falsetto seagull swooped, hunting for chips.

And then this happened.

I’m sorry...

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Britain.

Find an island teetered

On frightened migrants, barrels of oil, 

And African diamonds.

Find a child swathed in red water, 

defiled by the law of the man up top,

pockets heavy, conscience ready

to burn and claw at power

To grovel, devour

To fester in Westminster

the cries of innocents 

talked around, spat on

With self-serving ambivalence

A game of bla...

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Got any readies, got any cash,

got any folding green moolah to flash?

Tenners or twenties, dip in your stash,

show the spondulicks and make a big splash.

Out with your buddies, out on the town

out with the loons for your weekly meltdown;

bottle or draft, top shelf at the Crown,

stay till the moon and the stars all go down.

Got any money, got any dough,

got any ...

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I hold her and she holds me,

It's something ecstatic, 

But I wouldn't call it glee,

It's a feeling of contentment, 

Mixed up with delight,

Like a joyful reflection, 

When I hold her tight.

I forget and I remember,

I lose track of my mind,

But it has nowhere to be,

It has nothing to find,

It's here, I'm here,

In this embrace, 

And I wouldn't want to be, 

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im not sure when the pedestal my father once stood on crumbled

his voice once made magic from oxygen and took me to fairytale lands 

i cannot go there now while im clenching my fists under the table wishing he would stop pulling apart my mind

i think of little me barrelling to the door when i heard him come home from work as i slip into my room and try to look busy

i wonder w...

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With every beat of my heart
With every beat of my mind

I'm the clenched fist dragging on the concrete of my town
I am the gnarled smiling face of a twisted laughing clown
Like an unearthed jewel of ill-educated teaching
I'm the grasping hand of want, that never will stop reaching
A starved little brethren whose reached  his full potential 
In society groomed by the those ...

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The Lovelies of The World

 Warm chai tea— paperback books

A vanilla scented—candle lit flame

Provides an antidote and comfort

 For cupids lousy aim

Tree stumps— growing new sprouts

Hoodies—warm wooly socks

Funny questions from children

Trying to figure it all out

Bubble baths—decadent ice cream

A good cry —A lingering cuddle

The safe places

That a...

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Listen, not with your ears or eyes with stubborn, instilled belief,
Beware the crawling sensation that ripples across your skin,
Your churning, upturned stomach that scuffles defiantly within,
The melodic similarities, your moral compass do they sting,
Distorted misalignment, facts that turn on the head of a pin,
Language of the body, twisted and unhinged,
For it’s not in the loudly spoken w...

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Another sleepless night

Another fateful day

My thoughts kept me wide awake 

Is life gonna be as much of a piece of cake

That it has been so far

Nowadays, my insides are in a state of war

I'm even confused with my own identity

The life I've lived so far

Has it always been me?

Or fractions of different persons, I made myself

Have I ever known my true self?

Or was I j...

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Spending years rebuilding all the pieces...

All the pieces that have been systematically torn from yourself...

Only to realize, you were never much there to begin with. 

A hollow shell feigning the motions..  a glass forever half-empty sentiment..

Never feeling whole- or recognizable to the reflection looking back...

Late night neurotic thoughts- manifesting into self-doubt by day.....

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It's time to let go 

All that obstructs  

And hinders the glow 

It's time to move on 

From all that hinders 

Ones progress and success 

It's time to let the sun shine 

No matter how cloudy the sky 

There's always a ray to hold on 

It's time to be the one 

You expected others to be 

Calm, wise, kind and person with empathy 

It's time for a new...

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Let not this fantasy be shattered by reality. 
Let me stay in the bliss of passionate kisses, 
Where tenderness sends shivers down my neck.

I’d rather not argue over the daily banality, 
Whose turn it is to mind the children 
While the other is out for the night.

I’d rather stay in a trance of poetry 
Shared in our bloodstreams; 
Let it not bleed out from our hearts.

Perhaps for the...

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Just waiting

for the smile,

askance

"no? " I enquired

and waited

She sighed, looking

out of the window,

I leant forward

smiling.

"Askance" a word I'll use again.

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the new year rolls in and ive learned so much and so little all at once. 

so much about myself, and so little of how to deal with it.

i know now that i can be kissed, and liked, and loved.

but now it hurts all the more that im not.

knowing i have the capacity for it, and not recieving it, 

having it hang out of reach. kills me, it kills.

i know when to stop, and how long to stop ...

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I wish that I could build a nest

of feathered down

a deep retreat -

a place of safety

and hold you there

and let you sleep -

without re-occurring dreams

 - -   or voiceless fears

I wish that I could build a nest

a warming hug - -

a comfort for your future

where the tangled bonds that bind

fall fast away -

- and free your mind

...

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