The Essence of Forgiveness

A tree slowly reaching out

its fullness only realised in time

Maturity spurs it to perfection

found when its full glory is attained

So the source of wisdom grows

deep within the human soul

Growth often hard and rugged

can with a moral sense espouse forgiveness

The completeness of the human soul

is a tree of grace and beauty to behold

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Nothing seemed to comfort him

his troubled soul cried out for relief

then he heard a clarion call

offering a firm belief

born again ! born again !

never the same the same again

he was inducted

like lightning conducted

by Billy Graham's rally cry

ringing out ringing out

from uncertain ground to heavenly sky..

    "Billy Billy you are the bes...

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If only you could see

That I'm crying

Deep inside

My lonely chest

If only you could know

That I am at fault

For all that has happened

Between us

If only you could hear

The sorrow in my voice

As I speak

As I breath

As I blink

As I listen

If you could only understand

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The Comedy of Giants

     I once ran these hills without breaking a sweat,

And camped upon the summit of Englands tallest -

Singing punk lullabies at night, while

The stars danced merriment upon the eye,

     Those years were the personal victory

Of a boy who came from a town that only wanted

To cripple and belittle the shining ones;

To take away all that our elders fe...

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I remember watching step-dad beating my mom
And him yelling at me in an alcohol breath
"If you say anything, I'll knock her down to death"
Being scared for her life of this ticking time bomb

Crying myself to sleep, almost daily routine
Wondering why my mom stayed paralzed to him
Wanting a helping hand out of this sadness grim
Trying to shake her up to quickly leave this scene

I was onl...

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Illuminating circles of luminescent light caress the edges of your enticing form

The hues intensify in your eyes as colours contrast within your visionaries

Wrinkles form on the edges of your affectionaries, you are divine.

Scars run deeper than the darkest of deserted dreams

But you are mine.

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Grasping at straws, Reaching out to the stars.  We both have had flaws and Battle scars. Let nature take it"s course, I am willing to put this out in the universe for you to see and read, This is like first aid, we both need; As these hands layed. You are over there, I am over here, As I still care. Like they say come on in the water is fine,  as I add this to my vine.

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Bursting with charisma
These two Kings of Rock n’ Roll
sure knew how to pull the heartstrings
and bring music to the soul

They rocked through every jailhouse
Left every hound dog all shook up
With gyrating hips and tempting lips
and eyes of cheeky pups

They synchronised their every move
added blends of looks and charm
The screams and faints awaiting them
caused authorities alarm

...

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There is a forest I do not like

You may not like it either

A forest far larger than any other.

No trick of words or meaning is employed here

It’s a real forest made of real trees

It has more trees than any other single forest.

A forest that stretches beyond every horizon

Vast is its cloak, prolific in the extreme

A forest unplanned, uncultivated, growing unchecked...

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You taught me that love is pain

and I believed you.

Now I'm grown

and I know

half the wounds I carry

aren't even my own.

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small
rustle in the mid-hour

she moves
in steady comfort

bare shoulder to
restless sun

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Dear Tin

i will love you at a far

because no matter where you are

you will forever leave a scar

we went our seperate ways i see i took the wrong turn

i recollect the path i took straight to the tunnel

will that dimlight was darker than my life has been

you were the light to the end of that tunnel to my world

the sink was shipped and i got lost in the ocean without a re...

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Let me tell you 
That the world is broken
That the rich have spoken
Let me tell you 
That there is no hope left
That the world has gone deaf
Let me tell you
That morals have vanished 
That people are famished 
Let me tell you
That we will always have tea 
That others aren't so lucky 
Let me tell you
That I've tried and failed 
That greed prevailed 
Let me tell you
That the mean hav...

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awake again and seeing red

through midnight blue eyes swimming

in growing black pool pupils

--the groundhog sees his shadow

but mine never appears

though I know it follows

close behind, waiting for

the rising dawn to break the zenith

and mark the fall of another day.

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someone somewhere 

has been saying

something about somebody.

someone's had too much

to say for themselves,

toxic words put into

other people's mouths 

that will spread 

like 'flu to every 

somebody else 

whose loose lips 

spill words like pub drunks.

someone is going 

to trip over 

a wagging tongue

and set free a cat 

from somebody els...

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Imagination comes out of nowhere

landing inside a fantasy world

projects ideas into different images

let's you decide the direction

when flying off it leaves

a poem of your creation.

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With every breathe I take you drag me down,
With every second I spend awake you force me to drown.
In my sorrow.
In my wounds.
I wonder if there'll be a tomorrow.
I'm in love.
With a boy.
He completes me, makes spending the days with you.
Bearable.
Doable.
Lovable.
But with every breathe I take is a fighting one.
Like two arms pulling me apart.
I wonder if he sees the pain that lies u...

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Death brings us closer #25

The only connection I truly had with this young man was the darkness that beholds us both,

He could speak with such talent and such words, you would think it was a bible oath,

This young, charming and daring man was a fighter,

However, all fights but come to an end,

In his case, it was the end, however, I will remember this, and I will defend,

Defe...

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after three beers you saw the clouds for what they were

white letters on a pale blue background

but there is something inside you

something slick, metallic and unrecognisable

it comes up when you speak of your father

or when you hear the works of erik satie

you showed me how to plug your ears

so that the screaming turned to the whisper of the sea

a rattling wheeze stuc...

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Today I realised I had walked away,
Today I know I still care,
But today I know I did the right thing.

Tommorow I won't forget you,
Tommorow I wouldn't shun you,
But tommorow I wouldn't call on you.

Yesterday I was angry,
Yesterday I wanted to forget,
But yesterday can't be erased.

My future wasn't meant to be with you,
My future is my motivation to move forward,
But my future won...

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For forty four years since I was a lad

I’ve voted for Labour just like my dad;

When Labour was Old and when Labour was New

We voted for Wilson and Callaghan’s crew

For Foot and for Blair and for Miliband too.

For while Labour was proud and once a broad church

It welcomed allcomers which made it so strong;

It’s now more exclusive and leftwards it’s lurched

I’m...

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    Under my pillow the whispering heart of Simone Weil
expresses sweet love better than I could ever hope to.
Please don't wake me only to face the day empty-handed.

    Under my pillow beaks Mozart among the nightingales;
sweet message of the soaring song at last loud and clear.
Don't wake me for surely I will come away with nothing.

    Under my pillow the fierce red eyes of the ...

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My mind has been released on bail

pending further enquiries.

Liberated, it walks with me

through the gates and onto the streets

but before wandering further 

it surveys, just for a minute -

the football game in the alley,

the blackbird's therapeutic chirp,

the slowly trickling riverbed,

the sky awash in orange-red.

It feels a multitude of things - 

Weary,...

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It is a curse

To have a flying soul

And a cinderblock mind

To feel the call of the sky

But to be afraid of heights

I am Schrödinger's cat

Alive and dead

At the same time

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Love never captures the stars 
for we burn in the hollow 
of the black hole 
tearing at our souls. 

Yearning to be free, 
on our knees, we plead, 
blind at times in defeat,
deaf to the trees, 
the hearts true needs 

but on we climb toward the light, 
the rainbow an illusion of mind 
knowing the journey is the gold, 
that truth comes in numbers
and in reverse the future unfolds.

...

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Lies

the world you lived in as a child

was small enough for small beliefs

the healing power of ice cream

miracles that mended toys

and a mother whose hands could wipe away

tear stained pain

but I cannot mend

this man

your father

no promises

no medicine

no magic

will make him breathe again

you are taller than me now

a soldier

...

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1.      Dirt

Staring down at three fresh mounds of soil

Rain running down the collar of my shirt

Tears gently rolling down across my cheeks

As I stare uncomprehending at the dirt

Three lives gone, taken from me forever

Leaving behind, a shell of a man and a mountain of hurt

Lost in my memories and my inner thoughts

Staring blankly at the freshly turned dirt

I s...

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The more I go

The darker it gets

Doesn't matter what is my choice

It's always the wrong one

I missed all the tracks

But there is no survivor left in me

I wish I was the never ending story

That at least came to end.

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Change

The rain is falling now,

it cleanses the sorrow.

Shades of brown and blue,

painful thoughts are pushing through.

The agony rises and tears like a saw,

the horizon is shallow but reaps so raw.

Wait. Wait. Will change come soon?

Trials of life are my boon.

Experiences are plentiful,

wisdom now soars while deafining silence counters.

We sought no...

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I'm my mind I go back to the rim of the big canyon that I spent so much time at as a child. 
I can vividly see how it looked back then, the sage brush and cedars blowing gently in the wind. 
I can smell the dust and the vegetation that surrounds you always in this place. 
I can remember the deer running in the bottom of the canyon. 
I can hear my grandpa as we sit there telling me stories and ...

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Awakening and rekindling
The exhilarating experience
Of being a cherished object
Of love and desire
With a flattering affectionate look
"Other than you I have
No beauty to admire!"
Fanning the ember of
An emotionally not-checked-in
Wife's lady hood in to a fire
I put off her attire
To enjoy a forbidden fruit
I never imagined
I could  succeed to acquire!

The girl who shunned me
Pre...

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it was similar to the resurrection
oh but not the same..
i overheard a mother qualify and explain
something about their
miraculously risen cat..

the mother zoned-in on my baffled expression snagged
and within her reflection she gently flung 
she culled and hulled and duffed my air
then away into the supermarket she burned
her piety affronted 
and there morphed aglow 
an angry mumsnet ...

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Hitting the Wrong Note

Rooted next to his upright piano,

close in the tiny room,

I couldn't breathe.

He held one hand

to the small of my back,

the other across my

taut diaphragm:

(I can believe he loved

the music, but he craved

only angels, expected them -

and, by God, he was

going to have them,

even if he clipped

their wings along the way).

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and there he was, so perfect and handsome. big brown eyes staring at me like i was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. i hope for him to look at me like that forever, and to kiss me like the sun kisses the ocean every night.

                              ~for you 

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And in the refrigerator at night

Food is more useful and right

                    ***

Nothing is forever under the star

Started my doctor from afar

                    ***

About alcohol - I know my norm as such

But I can’t drink so much

                     ***

You are very chained by  brain

Let me loosen the chain

                  ***

Olga's heart is made of ...

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When I was a man leaning against walls

and that was all I did with my day, the walls:

pebble-dashed, bricked, wood -

I was just a man that leant against walls.

At some point something changed and I ceased

to be a man who leant against walls and more

of a man that salted cucumbers.

The cucumbers would arrive in packs of ten

and, with method, I would apply the salt,

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They’re off…

Malcolm on the ball. Big Mac does his trademark shimmy and slips in a slick pass to Cheryl.

Well we all know she has the X Factor and after a few precious yards lofts it to Kurly-Haired Keegan.

 KK as we known him weaves his magic, taking one, two, three defenders with him.

Sets up Kate who is rather slow on the left wing. Bless her, our Ms. Adie. She has served club and c...

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I need some help with my poem. I am new at this and I would be ever so thankful if some one could give me some feed back at what I have so far. Thank you. 

Death, Depresion, Demise,
Oh there are so many other words that can be used,
Prettier and more beautiful words in our languege,
Yet i find myself becomeing attached to theses words,
Clutching to them like my life depended on it.
But, ma...

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(I)

Your eyes linger
In a pause
Before dissolving into black.

(II)

Taking some time out
Your diary misses day out
Almost like it has a mind of its own.

(III)

Not being familiar with Dylan Thomas’s work
You are happy drinking
Your own masterpieces.

(IV)

Counting shadows
Postcards carry feelings
Whether at the beginning
Of the end of the journey.

(V)

Closing circl...

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Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Swinging and swaying with every turn i take
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Untouched, unwanted, unable to take it down
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
A reminder of how things used to be
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Testing my patience and strength
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Looked passed and ignore...

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Yesterday, the sun shone black upon my soul

Depth's depth deep beneath my heart.

Lumined ne'er by hope

Thoughts sank weighted low

Today, dawn'd, in heaven's mantle rais'd,

Glims golden future in my mind.

Light lightened all by future faith

Heart, mind and soul exalting up

Her voice love levered up, returned it from the depths

Dark voids where happiness was stra...

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I look at the sun each day 

Wondering how my life could have been differant 

Walking on paths, and thinking, which way 

All of them seem gloomy none of them magnificent 

As tears roll down my face 

Wishing I knew what to do 

The struggle in each breath I take 

Its not as easy as it looks 

Nothing is as easy as it looks 

But determination I used 

My feelings could have...

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'Get a life' They said. So I did

I stopped saving my time in the bank of 'one day'  

I stopped snatching moments and looking forward to five minutes peace

I started spending my time

I spent it generously

As if I was the time millionaire

I spent hours freely gazing at the stars

Wrapped in blanket, mug of tea warming my hands

Watching the flames from a garden fire fly heaven ...

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You asked if this was okay

But I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth

didn't possess the words to say 

no

this is so much more 

It just didn't seem to roll off my tongue the way mine rolled over yours

There wasn't enough time to explain the feeling of innocent euphoria I experienced with you 

No way to begin to illustrate how you made me unravel at the seams like lillie...

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If Logic's the theory of proof 

And Inferences a process to truth 

Then it's impossible to state 

A premise, then negate 

The conclusion 

Unless it's a spoof. 

words and foto T Carroll 

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I will eviscerate you with my pen

Your blood will be as ink

Pumping

Dripping

Blotching the paper

I will write your life

Put down black upon white

No part spared or left out

As the very soul of you revealed

Every soaking last drip

Until the ink runs dry

And you can no longer speak

Or insinuate another lie

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Note: there is some strong language in this. it's not too bad. it's not too excessive, either. one word in here twice, i think. and if you're wondering, yes, the colors mean something. and yes, im genuinely asking a question to you, the reader. and to the person this is about. but i pray he never reads or finds this. anyway, enjoy.

Am I selfish for wanting another hug? 

I handed you the...

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Ah … the primitive id

buried drive of sex and aggression

so thinly civilized

our basic Beast growling

claw flexing, eye fixing

ready to pounce

in dreams

slips of the tongue

flashing anger

free association

In Art -

shadows in a painting

tone of a story

plumb stone of a poem

architect's angles

bass pacing heart beat -

subplots in metaphor

...

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Roses are red violets are blue ah just kidding that's not how I start off a poem for you, you hair is like silk, your lips like no other, your eyes they give off a sensation of wonder, a true work of art, you are the kaleidoscope piece to my heart, for your love is shiny, colorful, and always brand new, I'm your sweet loving pet but you're just as loyal and true. 

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        I.            Tortured by her own behaviour

      II.            Rivalry expressed through lovers’ soul

    III.            Battling for humbleness to be the change in her,

    IV.            Prior days has depicted her deepest love

      V.            But reality dreams, of fear is all she has to take hold of.

    VI.            She has a generous guilt for society inf...

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Hold me before

I waste away leaving

Warmth to worm

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I couldn't wait to see you and get my heart broken overwhelmed by the weight of my own consumption bad decisions made for a perfect moment 

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Once I knew you,

Red hair blowing free

Catholic and wild:  

The young banshee.

A Jacobite, like me.

The moral guardians condemned us:

Said we were the transgressors,

The breakers of the law.

.

So then we asked each other

What was life for?

It’s the wildness that’s within us!

Our spirits roaming free:

The accomplishment of nothing

That is you and ...

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Attracted to someone I barely know.

Butterflies in my stomach when I see him.

Caring for a stranger who has similar interests.

Dedicated to devote my upcoming future with this man.

Excited about the fact that someone has a crush on me.

Feisty is my middle name.

Gentle to the touch when he hugs me.

He’s my puddin cause he’s insane.

I’m his Harley Quinn because I’m just as in...

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And just like that, you're gone,

The memories fade away, you're lost,

No matter the action , the consequences are the same.

The thought of you not being here,

The thought of missing you,

Those are concepts I can't wrap around my head.

With fear I live the upcoming days,

Questioning my own existence,

Questioning my own rebellion, I slowly understand what you meant.

Honest...

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twisted, crawling, slithering snake.

it moves unseen, hidden in the darkenss of my mind.

it rips, shreads, unhinges and lays rest to all the sanity that I have left.

it has destroyed all that once was and all that will ever be.

will I survive once it is done consuming me?

would anyone even care?

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Oh, those  merry childhood days                      

when I would wake up;                                    

only to the gentle kiss of the sun rays.      

Alas, they had flown by to replace those;      

with days, when I would wake up                      

to nightmares of an unfinished race.

​

I remember those carefree days;                

when I would just toss and t...

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The Oceanic waves cannot define
Neither the sky could do
They tried hard for knowing 
Even the lord has no clue.


The Immortal sky has an End
Your invincible charm doesn't
Even the silent breeze has an End
But your gracious smile doesn't


Contrast would be unjust
So would be very futile
For a girl with no rust
Who sustains over the pile


Surely the sky and the ocean ought...

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My freedom, from foolishness to innovations, from my narrow mind, to play chess in cosmos with sea horses
Oh my infinite and inexhaustible
Her unsung songs, unplayed roles, not spoken words 
Her voice, aroma, her look 
Crusted by the look from my heart to breath and shout  
man I'm going insane 
Like I don't get sleep, but I wake up from canyon to mountain and from mountain to canyon 
From ...

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...

Each year you will be clothed in
this pink caress and warmed by
shadows passing from granite to bark,

while smoke drifts between the stone
and the stable where a pony shivers
to greet the dawn.

And you in your fragile boat on smoothing
waves will disappear towards a cold horizon
as we lean forward begging your return.

But no word of farewell echoes here, no
final touch, no...

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(This is about an old ex-soldier from those post
world war two days when - if anyone raised
his combat experience - then his mates used
to all put their caps on upside down and their
thumbs into their mouths. and suck firmly.)

We asked him why he`d not declared
That he had just been Croix de Guerre`d
For his efforts in that great advance 
which struggled and liberated France 

`...

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Lovely!

If you
can say
the same,
let her 
know now.

Oh, and 
by the way
my girl is 
my mom

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Is it wrong to be jealous
Is it wrong that I wonder..what is it that you do
My nerves can't take it
I need to release this anger that resides inside of me
Why don't you get it?
Of course, I know you never will 
I know you won't open your eyes to see
To see what has been eating me
You call it over reacting
I call it coming back to reality
My body. I've been used. My skin is no good
My he...

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Even though he might seem
Cold and bitter but still glee
Will take him over that very moment
He thinks of days he spent with me 
Even though his heart might seem numb
But a broken smile is sure to come
The moment you will mention me
Will ignite the rumination spree
Even though he might appear  
Under the spell of swaying breeze
Still somewhere in his eyes you might see 
Memories of us t...

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I flick my hair
Put nail paint, wear dresses
Maybe somebody will fall in love 
Maybe somebody will look twice

I wait for my beautiful someone
I wait for my story to be written 
Wait for poems to describe my eyes
Search for letters in my bag

When we'll meet, I'll shout out to the world
Will talk to you even when I'll have nothing to say
Will sleep in your arms, reside under your breat...

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The Father’s Curse

I am not  the man you used to be

the acorn falling softly

in the shade of your tree

raising ungrateful sons

to their own prosperity

fighting a war

so that others could be free

the nurturing of potential

that you swore you couldn’t see

expected to take root

and share your ancient symmetry

being a loving father

when it wasn’t m...

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CHANCES TO LEAVE

Hunched over his ouzo, unshaven

as the steamer pulled away on visible blue.

A guy who's going nowhere, you said,

meets every dawn with negativity.

Later we sat upstairs while Kumiko picked

through rubbish on the beach for fun.

Less of that scrap, you shouted down,

not everything is sculpture! Then turning to me:

At school back in Denmark we fou...

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I scan the paper and I'm smitten
by a headline: someone's written
"The happiest place to live in Britain
is here in Harrogate."

I sip my fresh brewed Yorkshire Tea,
gaze at the Stray where glorious trees
ripple sedately in the breeze
and I wonder "What's so great?"

Every town surely has beds filled with flowers,
a grand Turkish Bath with a dome and towers,
mineral springs and clean w...

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In the air, the pallor rises showing faces of wrath,

breathing shame in light of a complex coalition of schemes;

a sudden fury appears discreetly under the crying

and the world indifferent...

Amazed glances are exchanged;

the impertinent silence is not tolerated ...

while the inventory of gifts continues

buying those in olive green uniforms, governments and judges

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sickly purplish fleshy lips 
pleading and heavy
a nasally whine drowned out
by florescent buzzing and gunshot wounds

 there's an itch:
a dead twin living in that darkened spot
stamping out nightmares of the worst kind
a hardening shrieking excitement
pearl-yellow, shattering teeth in ecstacy
at the winning end of blu gun-metal

there's an itch
stapled down and locked away
saved for ...

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Everything is disappointing

Everyone disappoints

Fall in love with me

I will disappoint you

Like you will me.

It’s factored in the leaving

Everything leaves through

Theft or damage or familiarity

The glow of ownership

Pride of possession

Will gutter and dim

Everything is tinged with disappointment

This we know

But pretend we don’t

We arm in arm a...

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When you venture into the deep unknown 

Rolling into the pits of the abyss of the universe 

Drowning in the darkness you will find an interlude 

Of the brightest nature filled with despair rather than hope 

And when you find this despair it will do you good to remember  that 

We are but only a cloud of air

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No sooner have I tied my shoe laces then another chore begins

One door closes and another left ajar

“please come in”

let the ceremony of rejection begin.

I’m at pains to tell them I was not always like this, then realise I’m at Tesco’s with a grapefruit in my hand

“ahh never mind”

Life is racing past me

Like the horse I bet on at the 3.25 crippled with anxiety

“ah...

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“What are you up to, Liz my dear?”

“She’s gone and nicked my pen!

Can you just please come over here

And get it back again?”

“Don’t worry dear, I think you will

Have plenty other pens.”

“Do as I say, and right now Phil!

I won’t tell you again!”

“I really don’t know why you make

A great big ballyhoo!

This is the last time I will take

You to the flaming zoo...

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The permanent thing in world
Is change
Change that no one ever wanted
Change that nothing goes by
Change that everything denies
Change that occupy thy self

No one wants a change 
if it's no good
No one wants to change
For worst
No one wants a change
For world

Failure, anger, sadness
The reason for changing your self
Happiness, joy, love
The reason no one wants a change

You ca...

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TIGHT SHOES

At night she puts the tight shoes by her bed

And dreams of running

When she awakes in the morning

She gets out of the safety of her bed

Puts on the tight shoes

Just to remind her that she’s walking

She used to nip her self

Scratch and cut her self

Look in the mirror for hours

And not see her self

Wondering where she had gone

Now she puts on tight sho...

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a wild horse 
which is free
free to go 
to go everywhere
to run away
or to stay
in the eyes 
your eyes
crossed mine
you are my rider
the person whom my heart
chose to not live without
I admire
you make it tame
my heart is not as wild as it was
I feel each step
the mud
the grass
the sand
the snow
through my hooves
the hard hooves
which were infrangible
I thought 

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We opened the door to freedom

We let them enter as they may

We denied not one single soul

Of freedom for it is they

Who came here to this country

Wanting to be free

And to build a better nation

Searching for equality

We never closed the door

To those who came to find

Freedom for their families

We were never that unkind

America was founded

By th...

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All thoughts at once with no reserve

Too drunk to round the curve

All memories I wish to fade, currently present

I suffer from a case of self endangerment

All the things I've held

The purpose it gave

All are stones marked of a light in a dark and lonely grave

The essence of its sweetness still bleeds within

The wind dancing in the fields

The green, saturated earth w...

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Everyone knew something different 

than the reality.

they knew a student,

they knew the cheerleading captain,

they knew the girl who always smiled.

I know that person, 

in reality.

I know an eating disorder,

I know self harm,

I know pain.

I know

because 

it was me, doing all the thinking.

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The clouds were so strange that day

spilt powder over duck-egg veneer

a clandestine pincer and loose, flaking bough.

the hour the clocks stopped,

and the sea, through fence and fig-grove

breathed one last heavy overture,

(and there was much waving, and there

was solemn prayer, and repeat)

the shadows moved as warning signs

over verdant emerald mesh.

There I looked in ...

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When I missed you

You knew

When I loved you

You already knew

Your quiet confidence could never be mistaken for arrogance

That was the calibre of your character

When we were parting

I think you already knew

I hope you know 

That I seek you out when the darkness fills my life

Your memories remind me of the light

Know this

You are my l...

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Candles burning bright

Music playing low

Two people, two lives

Stage is set

Follow the script

Walk the aisle

Say I do

Two people, one life

Stage is set

Follow the script

Sunny, fun destination

Create a home

Two people, one life

Stage is set

Follow the script

Seed not growing

Distance born instead

Two people, two lives

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I like to sit beside the sea
And close my eyes just enough,
That I can say I'm here alone
I pretend I'm the last human,

All my troubles drift away,
It into the waves endless repeat
Its slow certainty comforts me,
My senses leave on the tide,

The freedom I seek
Comes from living
On a small island

Where I must keep every thought
Every action packed in the land,
They get stepped on...

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Do i have a heart?

I cant feel my heart beat
Im searching for my heart beat

How am i still alive with no heart beat
I feel dead inside 

I have no heart beat
Im searching for my heart beat 

Since way back when iv always wondered.
Why cant i find my heart beat?

Whats wrong with me
No heart beat

My hearts been broken 
My hearts been shattered 

And everytime i put it back to...

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Anniversary

There is no clean slate

No blank sheets of paper

To write our lives on

We erase and rewrite existence like

Painters whitewash

And rescape canvas

With images telling new stories

Often by another painter

In some other time

With alterative visions

No story is complete

Life goes on telling

The same story differently

From other sides of truth

Ce...

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I thought of you in bed last night.

Remembering your soft brown skin,

the times we had, impressions

of your absence

ever gentle on my mind.

I tumbled back to trampled paths

and BPM at sunrise.

Techno nights and dancing

on the weathered land

in daylight, singing love songs

in the mud and lit by lightning.

We were stormproof, leathered,

no one stopp...

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Dear Dad

why is all I have to say to you

it seems like you haven't cared about me and sis

ever since we were two

so what if you "had" to move 

you could have taken me and sis with you

but no you didn't, that was rude

I actually thought you left because we ate all your junk food

but only as I grew did I learn the truth

it wasn't because of me it was all because of you

...

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All my poetry videos and booktrailers at http://mariatosti.wixsite.com/mariatosti/video

<3

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Young and busy

Children to look after and watch grow up. 

Thirty something, no age at all 

To journey on 

And leave us all. 

I know

You didn't want to go.

You loved life 

The joy and pleasure it brought.

Jake and Ben 

Not yet young men.

And Josh, just a baby 

Never learned to say Mam.

I know

You didn't want to go

I know,  I know, i know.

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Why do people presume . Then expect you to act on their presumptions without even being sure . Our destiny is held on their presumptions . They presume when old you are on benefits . Presume you are on benefits when ill . Presume you are well when not . Presume who ever tells you lies , is telling you the truth . They think when you have worked hard all your life and saved . You should help all ot...

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There's a presumptious impertinence I look on as theft:

The acquisition of "liberal" by those on the left.

How often it irks when they're used together,

With no mind to give any thought as to whether

It might well be the case that "liberal" might

Be perfectly suited to those on the right!

........................................................................

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The first line of the poem I heard while walking through my university's campus and from that I built upon the idea, hope you enjoy!

Because my professor can't teach I'm left to piece together a syllabus out of the whispers coming from the front seats, I show up to class early in hopes of changing my day, but it only ends in heartache when I can't seem to find my way. Through the chatter a...

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Great poets inspire; we aspire to write only the adequate, the good;

Perhaps the funny or the emotional; and we are satisfied.

Are you the poor homeless beggar that was given

A good kicking by Paul?

Different people from all walks of life

Sharing their love of the written word

Swallowing our different realities

Confined in the rhythm of Thomas

And the dirtiness of Buko...

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So what is this future we stare at in fear
    what substance this projection of mind.
How dare we design a moment in time.  
    where impermanence is all that we find.

Each conscious day existing on earth
    conjuring a vision to reach
A future that flows and contorts
    as sand is adrift on a beach

Planning love and peace and happiness
    a personal perfection to derail
Wanting...

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I had a moment.

Just before.

A moment spurred by what I saw

Now I'm not one to get caught by looks,

It was like a story from fantasy books

He stood alone, searching faces.

One of a hundred in busy places,

But this moment was special, I could see,

And even better.

He was waiting for me!

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Rock bottom is where you say you've hit
But you're smiling
But you've got someone to grieve with
Your even crying
No, your tearing 
From laughter of all things
You know, you've found that slit of comfort in a moment of many
But then you start to think
Then bleed a little 
But you haven't reached bottom
What happened to that smile that once was?
The one that only last for one minute
It ...

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Pull back the folds and peek in.

    Searching for a way back home?

    Watch the body dazzled. 

    May it become God’s?

    “Wash me! Heal me!”

    Offer your all to the darkness.

    Bury your wearied conscience.

    “Kneed me! Free me!”

    Before you can catch your breath.

    Don’t let it ever end;

    Lest it be set off again.    

Try and turn a perversion i...

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 DEATH OF NELSON

 (Benjamin West 1738-1820 – Walker Gallery, Liverpool)

 Some think victory complete

 Raising hats celebrating,

 But others huddled solemnly

 Around the pale figure

 Know death is waiting,

 That he only lingers awhile

 To say farewell and to savour

 A little of the triumph.

 In the background a confusion

 Of sails and streaming signal...

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Life is so strange
sometimes intelligence wont matter much
You need to hold her hand
and look into her eyes
Knowing that  she would care,

Sometimes addictions are funny
doesnt matter if you try to quit
you need a hero
Then sharing would make so much sense
and freedom
to ones who can accept,
and care for another..
The one time you laugh together
and look into the sky effortlessly;
N...

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My thoughts on paper hour after hour

When I lie in bed or in the shower

I do it all so you can glower

I'm the insignificant Poet

I stand up here and on my own

Hearing every sigh and groan

Whilst you sit and play on your mobile phone

I'm the insignificant Poet

I write it daily, profound and deep

Words to make you laugh or weep

Inspired whilst you were fast as...

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isn't it funny how

you said you would love me forever

but your forever

was merely a moment

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Who notices the beautiful flower

No one does because she is broken

But now awoken she notices

No one seems to leave a care

Leave a care for one who's broken

And just out there

She is scared

She will fade soon and no one will hear...

The words that's spoken

From underneath the girl thats broken

Rainy dream, she tries to breath

Damp, dry, air that's cold

Watch her...

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I'd give anything to turn back time...

I'd do anything to change your mind...

I'd say anything to make you stay...

I struggle with those sad feelings all day. 

'You remember when...?' That's how my depression starts. 

Need to stop remembering. 

I feel like I'll never be happy again. As long as memories excist. 

Love hurts. Dot. Pain pain pain. 'Oh I think I might be ok.' ...

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The things I once loved about you I am repelled by. And I wonder why that is. Why must my heart be so fickle as to change its rhythm on the sight of a dropping moon? Why must my sanity be so wild as to run away with my fancy? Attached to my mind is a clock that often ticks but never at the right moments . 

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In this life or the next

I see you in my dreams,

Oh so real it seems,

I touch your face,

You still look the same.

Your cheeky grin,

Beautiful eyes.

You have such a kind face,

Matches your kind heart.

Oh why was I so unsmart?

I pushed you away,

As far as I could,

For I was not ready for something so deep,

Even though I can see now, you were the...

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Everyday I play games in my head

Bad senarios going over and over again

I never win

Will I find my substance 

Or will I fall for the ticks in my head

It's not Halloween these trick don't come with treats

How can I treat myself like a toy 

I want to be a man but fear I'm still a boy 

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I've been waiting for spring for a long, long time. These March and April are very cold. There are no blossoms near my house.
I am reading a lot of poems to feel spring.
Today I read a charming verse by James Henry Leigh Hunt. It is called May and the Poets.
«There is May in books forever»...
That's so true!
What is your favorite poem about springtime? I'd like to read it.
 

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The sharp blades of wild growing spring grass flat beneath my weight

Shaping along the edges and curves of my body

Hugging me, giving me a slight feeling of safety, even in a wide open space

The sun hiding as the clouds make their first spring debut

Soft gray and light white intertwined as the soaring birds making the canvas theirs

Don't blink you'll miss it, the peace, the perpetua...

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(Get your sick bags out)
GREAT GRANDKIDS
Each grinning sits astride...an old rheumatic knee
 a pair of exuberant saplings...aged just four rings and three
two new babes...born in the woods
impatiently broke from eager buds
off a sturdy family tree
roots mulched firm...bedded deep
fed by antecedents...in their everlasting sleep
 flourishing fixed...to a healthy mix 
of assorted ancestry

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Jumping from one high to the next

There desperate to forget

The one thing that makes them upset

Just to escape the mistakes that now haunt them

All because of a lie ill-fated

Made ready for consumption

By those who told them it was right

Yet it's the best fiction has to offer 

Messed up with reality

And feed on by the minds of the lost ones

Ready to create fractures i...

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Does this trip start in you
or spring somewhere in me
there is an urgency of need
I can't seem to abandon

Fingers on the button
clawing at your door, heart beating
will you answer all this longing
let me cross the line, trespassing

Calling by, I'm calling by
that ancient question in my eye
and you can tell, you can smell
that I've been drinking 
but you know me
you know me
you kn...

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It seems timely, in more ways than one, to post this poem today. It was the local paper of my childhood, the Wirral Globe, which first introduced me to the concept of Fake News with its locally legendary series of April Fool spoof news articles. But it's chilling how close some of these have come to reality...

The Birkenhead April Fools (for Dot Humphrey)

We argue still, my Mum and I,
...

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Our pieces won't fit.

Surely you see it?

Yours cut through mine and

I feel it

You push to change what is

Down-right solid, yet

Knowing full-well that

You can't.

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He said to type into Google "why does school make me"

Search results - 
Why does school make me...
Sad 
Tired
Depressed 
Cry
Wanna die 

Educating the mind without the heart is no education at all. Aristotle

The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Bipolar

It’s 10:09 am when you open your eyes

Everything seems fine

Wiping the crust from the corners of your eye

You get out of bed and take your morning piss

10:30 hits as you rush to class

Taking the seat in the middle

For once, determined to be

A good student

Somewhere in the midst of the

Molecular theory of matter

You get hit with a wave of fog

C...

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